Empathy
by RukiLex
Summary: Shinigami have different gifts. Karin didn't want to be her older brother; she wanted to find her own place in the Soul Society. This is the story of how Karin found her own way and her own life. Set ten years after the war with the Arrancar. HitsuKarin
1. Prologue

**Empathy**

**Spoilers:**** Post-Hueco Mundo. Assumes knowledge of current manga plot line.**

**Author's Note****: Follows the general history/character development in my previous story, "King's Key: The Four Prongs," but you don't need to have read that story to understand this one. Taking a break from my favorite pairing, Ichiruki, for now.**

**Inspired by the true story of the daughter of a pilot who flew secret reconnaissance missions over the Soviet Union during the Cold War in the 1950's as recounted to Dick Gordon on NPR's "The Story."**

**Disclaimers:**** The story is mine, but the characters belong to and are from the incredible imagination of the manga god Kubo Tite. I am in awe, Sensei.**

Chapter One: Prologue

_A little girl sat in the living room, watching out the front window. Daddy would be home soon. She lived to see him, tall, strong, handsome in his Air Force uniform. She would spend hours looking out that window. Waiting._

"_What do you think, honey?" asked her mom, walking down the stairs, holding a periwinkle chiffon dress up on a hanger. Her mother was a lovely brunette, in her late twenties. Her hair was done up in a neat French twist, her pink lips sparkled with lipstick, and her eyes were a bright shade of blue. She wore large pearl earrings and a matching pearl necklace._

"_Mommy," said the little girl, "it looks __so__ beautiful!"_

"_Do you like the dress, Caroline?" her mother asked, smiling. "Your dad is taking me out to the Officer's Club tonight."_

"_It's so pretty, Mommy," replied Caroline, beaming, "I hope I look just like you when I'm a mommy. I want a dress __exactly__ like that one!"_

_Her mother laughed, "I'm sure you'll have one just like it, darling." She turned around and headed back up the stairs. _

_Caroline smiled. She liked pretty dresses. She loved it when her Daddy used to take her to the "pentagom" building in Washington. She'd wear her uniform, too. Black patent leather shoes, white tights, her best dress with a crinoline underneath so the skirt would fly in the air when she spun around. He'd salute the superior officers. She'd curtsy. Her mother had taught her how._

_Caroline went back to the window, pressing her nose against it. Little clouds of condensation grew on the cold surface where her breath met the glass. "Daddy will be home soon," she thought, "then I'll sit on his lap, and he'll tell me about flying the big planes at the base." _

_She knew Daddy flew the big planes, that his missions were secret. She loved to hear him tell her about flying over the mountains, about when he saw Mt. McKinley from his plane, about flying over the ocean. The fighting was over now, but Daddy told her there was a "cold" war. She knew that meant that there were people, the Russians, who might try to hurt her. She was proud of him, protecting her. Keeping everyone safe._

_And then she saw him drive up to the house, followed by a second, official car. She ran to the door, but she saw that he wasn't alone. There was a man with him. She had seen the man before: his superior officer. She didn't remember his name, just that her daddy called him "Commander."_

_Caroline hid in the hallway as the two men walked inside and sat down in the living room. They spoke in low, hushed voices. She couldn't really understand what they were saying, but she could tell that her daddy was really upset about something. Kind of like when Mommy and Daddy had disagreed about what school she and her sister were going to attend when they moved to Alaska. She had never seen her daddy speak like that to Commander. _

_Caroline edged closer, knowing that, if her daddy saw her, she'd probably get a spanking for trying to listen in. But, as she did so, Commander stood up and headed for the door. Daddy closed the door behind Commander. She knew her daddy would probably head upstairs to take his afternoon nap, and she didn't want him to see her in the hallway. She headed into the kitchen._

_But Daddy was there, in the kitchen, staring out the window into the garden. She gasped as he turned to look at her, surprised. "I'm going to get it now," she thought. But he didn't look angry. He motioned her over to him and kissed her on the top of her head._

"_Daddy's got to fly a mission tonight, sweetheart," he said, looking back out the window. "I don't think Daddy's coming home this time."_

_Her heart froze. She looked up into his face. He looked so sad. She had never seen him sad, before. Mommy, yes, but not Daddy. He was never sad. He was strong._

_He kissed her head again, stood up, turned and walked up the stairs. Nap time._

"_He'll be coming home in a few days," Caroline told herself, "Just not tomorrow."_

_There was no Officer's Club for her parents that night. He left a few hours later, kissed his wife and walked out the front door. Early the next morning, there was a knock on the door. Her sister answered it. Mommy came downstairs. There were two men at the door, wearing uniforms. Caroline had never seen them before. They left after a few minutes. Her mother was sitting on the floor in front of the door._

"_Mommy?" she said, worried, "Are you all right, Mommy?"_

_Her mother looked up at her. Her face was wet. She was crying. "Daddy's not coming back, honey. His plane went down."_

_She was seven years old. _

"Karin, are you okay?" Isshin was worried. The dreams had gotten worse over the past few months. Karin moaned and rolled over in her bed. "Karin, honey, wake up."

"Daddy?" Karin opened her eyes, blinking hard. Her face was wet. She was shaking slightly.

"You were having another nightmare."

Yuzu stirred in her bed and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Karin, what's the matter?"

"I'm fine, Yuzu. Go back to sleep." _"They're worried about me," thought Karin._

"Same dream?" asked Yuzu, now coming over and sitting on Karin's bed. "About the little boy?"

"Nah," said Karin dismissively. "This one was about a girl."

Yuzu and Isshin said nothing.

"Look, guys," Karin said, getting up from her bed and walking over to the window, "I'm fine, really. You don't need to worry about me so much. It was just a dream."

Isshin sat down on the bed next to Yuzu.

"_Now that Ichigo's away so much, I need to be the strong one," thought Karin as she turned to stare out the window. "Someone has to look out for them."_

"Dad," said Karin, "stop worrying about me and go back to bed before I kick you."

"Dear sweet little Karin," said Isshin, kissing Yuzu and standing up, "so much like her brother." He smirked at Karin and turned to leave the room. "Both of you get back into bed and get some sleep."

"Okay, Dad," said Yuzu, yawning and settling back into her own bed. "We will."

Isshin closed the door behind him. Karin was still staring out the window.

"Karin," said Yuzu, in full mothering mode, "you should get back in bed and try to sleep."

"Yeah," said Karin.

"Karin…" began Yuzu, but Karin cut her off.

"I'm fine, Yuzu. Really. It was just a dream. I'll come back to bed in a few minutes."

Yuzu yawned again and rolled over, already half asleep. Karin looked out the window again. The moon was bright, making shadows fall across the courtyard of the Kurosaki Clinic.

But what Karin saw was not a shadow. It was a man. Tall and handsome. Wearing a United States Air Force uniform. His face sad, pleading.

"_Help me," he said, looking into Karin's face. "Please help me find peace."_


	2. The Outcast

Chapter Two: The Outcast and the Cheerleaders

**Ten Years Later**

It was raining in the Soul Society. The new recruits to the Shinigami Academy had arrived only a week before, and the sun had not shown itself the entire time. The grounds outside the main Academy building were soggy, and tempers were running high.

Karin was restless, tired of being indoors. The whole week had been a huge let-down. Years spent trying to persuade her father to let her leave the Real World and enroll at the Academy, and her first week in the Soul Society had been a disappointment, from start to finish.

To begin with, there was her famous brother. Captain Kurosaki, Fifth Division.

First day introductions before the entire freshman class. "Kurosaki Karin," she had said.

"Kurosaki-taicho is your brother?" Bright faced, pretty shinigami pom-pom girls. "He's sooooo good looking!"

"I heard he single-handedly saved the Soul Society before the War," said a curvy blond snow princess.

"I heard he's seeing Kuchiki-taicho," said another, with a wink.

"Sleeping with her is a better description!" laughed the blonde, turning her head and launching her long hair around her neck with her hand.

The girls looked at Karin, hoping for a response. She said nothing, choosing to ignore them. She knew their type from college. Four more years of waiting, at her father's insistence, and she still had to put up with cheerleaders here in the Soul Society. _"Great," she thought, "just what I need."_

"Hey, Kurosaki!"

Karin turned around. "Renji," she said, still scowling, "What are you doing here? Checking up on me for my brother?"

Renji raised an eyebrow. "Abarai-fukutaicho to you, Kurosaki." He was definitely checking up on her.

"Yeah, right, Renji. You can tell my brother to shove it," said Karin, scowling, "I'm old enough to look after myself."

The snow princess smiled at Renji and smoothed her long hair. Apparently, his rock-star status had also been solidified with the War. Renji, noticing the attention, stood up a bit straighter and rested his hand on his zanpakuto. The girls whispered amongst themselves.

From there, things hadn't gotten any better. The new recruits were divided up into six smaller squads for combat and Kido, each squad consisting of twelve students. Karin was assigned to the "Green" squad, led by Ishikawa Kenta, a tall shinigami with long black hair tied in a ponytail. He lined his students up against a wall in their assigned classroom and had them introduce themselves.

"Kurosaki, eh? Any relationship to the Fifth Division Captain?"

"Brother," said Karin, meeting Ishikawa's gaze and scowling slightly.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing interesting things from you," he said, moving on down the line of students.

'Interesting,' thought Karin, did not bode well. She cursed Ichigo silently.

During a break from Ishikawa's informal lecture about swordplay, Suzuki Hina, the blond from before, came up to Karin and introduced herself. "What's Abarai-fukutaicho like?" she asked Karin, running her hand through her long blond hair again. "I hear he's single," she said, smiling lustfully. Karin fought the urge to wrap her hands around the girl's neck and squeeze hard.

"Mean," said Karin, grinning. "He and his last girlfriend got into a fight, and she ended up in the Fourth for over a month." Hina's face fell for a moment before she realized she'd been taken for a fool. She gave Karin a withering look and walked away without saying anything else.

Later that same afternoon in one of the indoor practice areas, Ishikawa made all of the squad members demonstrate their sword-fighting abilities. Although skilled at hand-to-hand combat and karate, Karin had almost no practice with a zanpakuto before arriving in the Soul Society. Isshin, who had opposed her coming to the Soul Society for years, had refused to help train her. What little training she had done had been with Ichigo on his rare visits home. Ichigo's natural abilities did not make him a very good teacher.

"Kurosaki Karin," said Ishikawa, singling Karin out to go first, "why don't you show us some of that legendary Kurosaki reiatsu and try hitting the target for us?"

"_Damn," she thought, as she unsheathed her weapon, "all those undergraduate credits in psychology won't come in very handy here, will they?" _Karin gritted her teeth and focused on the target, a large white box set high on a tripod about 20 yards away. She focused her reiatsu on the blade of her zanpakuto and aimed it at the target.

The room shook slightly, and a reddish-orange glow surrounded Karin. A few of the new recruits leaned against the wall to stop themselves from being toppled over from the sheer force of her spirit energy. A low humming sound filled the air.

"_Focus, Karin, focus," she thought, as the energy gathered around her body and filled the air._

Karin struggled to remain standing as a thick stream of fiery energy burst from the end of her weapon. This release of energy was followed by a huge explosion, which knocked most of the other recruits off their feet. Dust flew everywhere. As the dust cleared, she saw an enormous hole in the side of the building about fifty feet away from the target. The soggy Academy grounds were visible through the newly-made opening.

"Impressive reiatsu, Kurosaki," said Ishikawa, dusting off his uniform and smoothing his hair out of his face, "Next time, though, you may want to watch your aim a bit." She heard a few sniggers from her classmates.

By the end of the class, Karin was thoroughly dejected. She dreaded their first Kido class the next day. She hadn't even had Ichigo to give her pointers, given his woeful lack of talent for the subject.

"Kurosaki-san," came a voice from behind her as she walked out of the class, "may I walk with you?" Karin turned to see a small, bespectacled shinigami who looked to be all of about seventeen. "Murata Kazu," he said, seeing the look of slight embarrassment on her face.

"Right. Kazu. Sorry, I'm not great with names. I'm…"

"You're Kurosaki Karin," he said, interrupting her, "I know." Karin frowned. "I mean I know who you are, not because of your brother or anything," said Kazu quickly, trying to recover.

"Sorry," said Karin, "It's just been a long day, Kazu. Please, just call me Karin." Kazu smiled. He looked even more pathetic than she felt.

"This is my friend Takahashi Jiro. We grew up together in the Rukongai." Jiro was about a foot taller than Kazu, but no less awkward.

"Hello," said Jiro, bowing and staring at the ground, "nice to meet you."

"You were really impressive today, Kurosaki-san. I've never felt such a strong reiatsu," said Kazu.

"Thanks," said Karin, "but it doesn't do me much good if I can't even get within ten yards of the target." Kazu laughed and, in spite of herself, Karin smiled for the first time that day.

"Wanna grab some dinner with us?" asked Kazu, expecting her to turn them down.

"Sure," said Karin, "why not? I'm hungry." Both boys looked at each other with undisguised delight and smiled broadly.

************************************

Later, alone in her room, Karin reflected on the day's events. Twenty years old, and she felt as though she was still in high school. Not that high school had been a bad experience for her. But she had always been an outsider there. High school was a tough place for an outspoken, self-proclaimed tomboy who preferred a good game of soccer to going out on a date.

College had been different. In college, nobody had ever heard of her brother. There had been no reputation to live up to, no enormous shoes to fill. She was smart, and she had done well. She had even dated. Still, college had been something Isshin had wanted her to do. Karin knew her true talents lay elsewhere. In the Soul Society. Now, she was beginning to have doubts about her decision.

"_I've got to get out of this place, get some air," she thought, as she stared out her window._

Karin knew that recruits were not supposed to leave the Academy grounds without permission, but she didn't care. She also didn't care that it was still raining. She pulled her long hair into a high ponytail, grabbed her zanpakuto, and headed out of the dormitory building onto the Academy grounds and out the front gate.

The raindrops felt wonderful on her face and, for the first time in a week, Karin felt truly alive. The air was cool on her now wet cheeks. Using shunpo, one of the few skills Ichigo had succeeded in teaching her, she moved quickly through the misty rain.

It was early evening in the Seireitei, but few people were outside because of the weather. Those who had ventured out scurried around, quickly finishing up errands, before returning to their houses. The only souls who seemed undaunted by the weather were a boisterous group of Gotei 13 shinigami who were headed towards one of the gates to the Rukongai, probably on their way to a bar for a night's worth of heavy drinking.

Karin had been through the Seireitei streets only two times before: when she, Yuzu and Isshin had been granted permission to attend Ichigo's captain promotion ceremony; and when Ichigo had taken her to see Rukia at the Thirteen Division upon her arrival at the Academy. Both times, it had been daylight. Even though moonlight illuminated the rain clouds and the city below, things looked quite different than she remembered, and Karin soon found herself hopelessly lost. Unfazed, she walked on. She'd been lost many times in the Real World. She'd find her way back here, too.

About an hour later, Karin found herself on the edge of a large field which reminded her of the soccer fields she and her friends played on back in the Real World. Ichigo had once described to her the large open areas where the Gotei 13 shinigami would practice their skills. Given the large number of holes and patches of scorched grass which covered the area, Karin was pretty sure this was just such a practice field.

She pulled out her zanpakuto. _"Why not?" she thought, smiling, "At least here, no one will see me if I make an idiot of myself."_ She looked down at the blade, unsheathed, and ran her hand over the surface, which was now wet from the steady rain. It felt warm against her skin, and she felt a tingle of something almost electric in her palms.

Karin closed her eyes, her hand still resting on the warm metal. For a moment, she heard the sound of a voice, far off in the distance. She opened her eyes and looked around to see where the voice had come from, but she could see no one and she heard nothing more. Concentrating hard now, she aimed her sword at a large boulder near the edge of the field. Judging from the black burn marks on the rock, she would not be the first to use it for target practice. She closed her eyes again, focusing her reiatsu through the blade of her weapon.

_"Karin."_

Startled, Karin whipped around, expecting to see someone behind her. The field was empty. _"Damn," she thought, "no wonder I can't hit the side of a barn. I keep letting myself be distracted."_

Determined not to let anything else disturb her concentration, Karin again pointed the zanpakuto at the boulder and closed her eyes. As she did so, the air around her glowed reddish-orange and the raindrops that fell close to her skin evaporated, creating a small cloud that followed the outline of her body.

Eyes still closed, Karin imagined her target evaporating, as well. She lifted her zanpakuto straight up over her head and, opening her eyes, she brought the blade down quickly, pointing it at the rock. A powerful burst of energy issued from the tip of the sword and the ground beneath her vibrated as the attack hit its mark. Where the boulder once sat, a large crater had appeared, and the area around the crater was blackened and scorched.

"Not bad." The voice, although familiar, was not the one Karin had thought she heard earlier. Startled, she turned around and found herself nose to nose with a silver-haired man wearing a white haori. He was older than she remembered him, no longer a boy, but still unmistakable. Hitsugaya Toushirou. Captain of the Tenth Division.


	3. Little White Lies

Chapter Three: Little White Lies

"You startled me!" she said, irritated, "How long have you been standing there?"

"About a minute," said Toushirou, frowning now. "Do I know you?" he asked, looking at her, soaking wet in her red and white academy uniform. There was no hint of recognition in his face.

"No," she lied. It had come so easy, the lie. At that moment, she had wanted nothing to do with Kurosaki Karin, Kurosaki Ichigo or even Isshin. "I'm Suzuki Hina." It was the first name she thought of.

"Have you obtained permission to leave campus?"

Karin shook her head.

"Suzuki, you're violating Academy rules," he said. "Return now, and I won't report you."

"_How magnanimous of him," thought Karin, sizing him up. _In the pouring rain, Hitsugaya's hair was remarkably dry, as was his shihakushou and haori. A soft whitish-blue aura surrounded him and appeared to shield him from the rain. Hitsugaya stood about a head shorter than Ichigo. Karin, who was relatively tall for a woman, was nearly his height.

"_Still a pipsqueak," she thought, trying hard not to smirk._

Hitsugaya's demeanor hadn't changed much in ten years. He still projected the cool, in-control self-confidence as when Karin first met him. Gone, however, was the wistful soulfulness she had caught glimpses of before. If anything, his emotions seemed even more subjugated to the icy exterior than she remembered. Ichigo had once described Hitsugaya to Karin as "uptight."

"_Wound tight is more like it," thought Karin._

Karin shifted her weight from one foot to another, trying to decide how to respond to Hitsugaya's order. After a moment, she decided to try something different. _"What the hell? If I'm going to take Hina's name," she thought, "why not go all out?"_

Karin smiled at Hitsugaya. The same kind of smile that Hina had used on Renji earlier in the week. A cheerleader smile.

"I'm so sorry, Captain, ah…."

"Hitsugaya," he supplied.

"Right, Captain Hitsugaya, sir," she said demurely, "I thought I'd just look around right outside the Academy and, um, well, I guess I got a little lost." As she spoke, Karin pulled the ribbon out of her hair, letting her hair fall, wet, onto her shoulders. "Do you think you might be able to show me the way back to the Academy?" She smiled again and twirled her wet hair in her fingers.

Hitsugaya was clearly uncomfortable. Karin almost felt sorry for him. Almost, but not quite.

Hitsugaya nodded curtly, and they began to walk back in what Karin knew to be the general direction of the Academy. She did not bother to let him know that she knew shunpo. This was much too much fun.

They walked in silence. He seemed unsure of what to say to her, awkward.

Finally, trying his best to make small talk, he said, "So, Suzuki, where are you from?"

Karin said the first thing that came into her head, "The Rukongai." _"What am I doing?" she thought with some discomfort, "I don't have a clue about the Rukongai."_

"That's where I grew up," he said. It was a statement. Karin could read nothing more into it. "What part?"

"Um, the, ah…Hanging Dog." Karin remembered the name from a story Rukia had once told her. "I…um…went to school there."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Karin was relieved. If he had asked her anything more, she was sure he'd have figured out that she was lying through her teeth. They arrived at the front gate of the Academy a few minutes later.

"Thank you, Hitsugaya-taicho," said Karin, smiling the same vacuous smile as before, "I really appreciate your helping me find my way back." They walked on through the gate.

"Hmm," said Hitsugaya, looking at her and nodding slightly. A second later, using shunpo, he was back outside the gate. "The next time, Suzuki, or whatever your name is," he said as he turned face her, "I will report you. Oh, yes. And, one other thing. There are no schools in the Rukongai."

And, with another shunpo step, he was gone. For the first time since she had arrived in the Soul Society, Karin found herself laughing.

********************************

The next day went considerably better for Karin. Kido, surprisingly, turned out to be her forte. Although she knew little about the technique itself, she found she had a natural aptitude for the subject, and she learned the spells very quickly. By the end of the first class, she was already far better than the majority of her classmates, and her aim was second to none.

Karin still heard bits of conversation from the cheerleading squad about Ichigo and Renji, but with her newfound confidence, she found she could ignore it with little difficulty. The morning went by relatively quickly, and before she knew it, Karin found herself eating lunch with Kazu and Jiro on a bench near the dormitories.

"Kurosaki-san," said Jiro, mouth full of rice, "you were really amazing in kido class this morning."

"Jiro, I told you to call me Karin," she replied, smiling patiently. "Thanks, though." Jiro's cheeks turned a bright shade of red and he choked slightly on a bit of rice. Karin bit into something that looked like a piece of dried fish and tried not to laugh.

"I can't believe how easy you make it look, Karin," said Kazu, picking up his water and taking a sip.

It was then that Karin noticed something strange. A slight haziness or aura around the faces of Jiro and Kazu. At first, Karin thought it was just the light reflecting off the still-damp air. She put up her hand to block some of the sunlight, but the haziness did not go away. She rubbed her eyes.

"You okay, Karin?" asked Kazu. "Got something in your eye?"

"It's nothing, Kazu. Guess my eyes just aren't used to the sunlight after all that rain."

The haze was irritating, but she could ignore it. It was more difficult to ignore the sensations connected with the aura. Karin remembered feeling like this when she saw spirits in the Real World as a child. It was almost as if she was listening in on someone else's emotions. Longing. Need. Fear.

Karin brushed off the sensation, telling herself that she needed to focus her energies on her training. She was, after all, in the Soul Society because of her spiritual gifts. It wasn't so strange that, in a place filled with spiritual energy, she might remember some of the feelings she had as a child. And with these thoughts in mind, the aura and the feelings connected to it faded over the course of lunch, and Karin was able to put it out of her mind.

********************************

Combat class was to be held in the large outdoor courtyard today. Ishikawa had informed their squad that they would be joining the rest of the Academy freshman for a demonstration of zanpakuto technique. The students were abuzz with excitement. It would be much more interesting to watch someone who really knew what they were doing than repeating the same old drills again in class.

The courtyard was already full of talkative students when Karin, Kazu and Jiro arrived. They took their seats on one of the benches set up for the occasion. A few minutes later, the headmaster of the Academy, Ayugai Ryota, arrived to introduce the shinigami who would be demonstrating the proper use of zanpakuto. A tall, broad-shouldered older man, with graying hair and fierce eyes, Ayugai's voice rang through the courtyard, and soon all the freshman had quieted down.

"Freshman recruits," said Ayugai, looking around at the men and women seated in the courtyard, "we are very fortunate today to have two of the Soul Society's strongest shinigami here to demonstrate both the shikai and bankai releases of their zanpakuto."

There were hushed whispers throughout the crowd as students speculated about who these two shinigami might be. After a moment, the crowd became quiet, and Ayugai continued, "For those of you who are here because they aspire to join the ranks of the Gotei 13 squads, you will be pleased to know that these two shinigami may someday be your commanding officers." Again, the students whispered to one another and, again, Ayugai waited until they became quiet.

Ayugai gestured to a bench about two rows behind where he stood. "Hitsugaya-taicho. Kurosaki-taicho. We are honored that you have chosen to join us."

Karin's heart sank. Ichigo. Just when she was starting to feel as if she had some talent of her own. Just when she'd forgotten, just for a few hours, that she didn't have to live up to his reputation. Just when she had started to feel at home, comfortable.

************************************

The demonstration lasted about thirty minutes, during which time Karin tried to look as unimpressed as possible. It was not an easy task. Even she had to admit to herself that her brother was nothing short of amazing with a zanpakuto. In the Real World, she had seen little of his fighting abilities, although she had heard a great deal about them from just about everyone she knew from the Soul Society.

Hitsugaya, for his part, had been equally impressive. Although Karin had seen him fight hollows, she had never seen him release his bankai. Hyorinmaru was an impressive weapon and even now, several minutes after the demonstration had ended, bits of ice crystals still hung on the branches of some of the trees in the courtyard.

Karin got up and headed back towards the main building, hoping to avoid any undue attention the connection to her brother might bring.

"Eh, Karin," said a voice from behind her, "leaving without telling your big bro how wonderful he was?" Karin turned to see Ichigo, grinning broadly.

"You idiot," she said. Still, she found herself grinning as well. She really did love him, it's just that it was more complicated than before. _"He really means well," Karin thought, "it's not his fault everyone compares me to him. He can't help what he is."_

"I hear you saw Renji last week," said Ichigo, eyeing her cautiously, "he says you were your usual pleasant self."

"I told him to tell you to shove it and stop checking up on me." Karin put her hands on her hips and glared at her brother. "I'm not a kid anymore, Ichi-nii."

He smiled and said, "Yeah. Renji told me you gave him a hard time. He also told me you didn't look like a little kid anymore."

Karin laughed and blushed slightly at the comment. She knew she wasn't a flat-chested little girl anymore, but she still had a hard time seeing herself as the woman she was now. The fact that Renji had noticed, though, made her feel strangely happy.

Karin saw Jiro and Kazu not far away from where she was standing and waived at them. They came over and joined her. "Ichigo," she said, pushing the two teenagers in front of her, "I'd like you to meet some friends of mine. This is Murata Kazu and Takahashi Jiro." Both boys bowed deeply, clearly awestruck.

"Nice to meet you both," said Ichigo, flashing his famous grin. Then, turning to his left, Ichigo put his hand on the shoulder of the man who stood with his back to them. The man was talking to some of the other students, but he quickly ended the conversation.

"Karin," said Ichigo, "I'd like you to meet Hitsugaya Toushirou. Toushirou, this is my sister, Karin."

Hitsugaya turned to face her. Karin thought she saw a hint of surprise cross his face. Then, Hitsugaya looked directly into her eyes and said, with a smile, "Nice to see you again, Karin."


	4. Memory

Chapter Four: Memory

Classes ended early because of the zanpakuto demonstration, and Karin agreed to join Ichigo, Toushirou and friends for dinner off campus. This time, Karin had gotten permission to leave for the evening, figuring that she had probably pushed her luck about as far as she could with Hitsugaya.

Up in her room, Karin had changed into a comfortable kimono, not wanting to advertise her novice status to everyone in the Seireitei by wearing her Academy uniform. She was not particularly nervous about "meeting the gang," as Ichigo had put it. She already knew most of them from the Real World and, despite her lack of confidence in her abilities as a shinigami, Karin was a confident woman in most social situations.

The sun was starting to set as she went down to the main entryway to meet Ichigo and Toushirou. She was surprised to find only Toushirou there, waiting for her.

"Ichigo had something to take care of back at the Fifth," said Hitsugaya, unsmiling. "Given your sense of direction, I offered to escort you."

They headed out the doors and through the main gate of the Academy. Karin was surprised when Toushirou headed in the opposite direction from the center of the Seireitei.

"We're having dinner in the Rukongai," he said, a hint of a smile on his lips, "Ichigo says you've never been."

"Touché," said Karin, laughing. And then, just as quickly as she had seen it, Toushirou's smile was gone, replaced by the usual icy frown.

"Why did you lie about who you were?" he asked her as they walked. "You clearly recognized me."

Karin decided to be totally honest this time. "I just didn't want to be me right then," she said, looking for his reaction. There was none. Undeterred, she continued, "It was better to be some nameless recruit."

"That doesn't make sense," he said simply. She didn't feel much like explaining, so she said nothing.

They arrived at one of the gates that led to the Rukongai a few minutes later. Toushirou introduced Karin to Jidanbo, the enormous shinigami who guarded the gate.

"Welcome, sister of Kurosaki-taicho!" boomed Jidanbo, smiling broadly as they passed through. _"Even here,"_ thought Karin, _"I can't get away from him."_ She sighed and did her best to smile back.

The Rukongai was nothing like Karin had expected it would be. To be sure, she hadn't really known what to expect, but she was shocked by the poverty she saw all around her. This was the place where souls would go to seek peace in the afterlife? It seemed like a raw deal. Still, Karin was surprised at how happy most of the people she saw were, living in the run-down houses that lined the dirt streets.

"You grew up here?" she asked Toushirou, slightly incredulously. He looked at her as if she had totally lost her mind. Realizing how she had sounded, she added, "Sorry, it's just that, to have come so far by yourself, at such a young age…"

"I had a family," he said, without emotion. She wanted to ask about his family, but the look on his face told her that he was not interested in discussing the topic further.

They made their way onto a large market square, full of people selling their wares. She remembered going to the farmer's market on the weekend with Yuzu and her father in Karakura Town as a child. Just as she had then, Karin loved the energy of the outdoor market. Curious, she went up to one of the market stalls to take a look at what was for sale.

The man who ran the stall smiled at Karin. Then, noticing Hitsugaya behind her, his smile quickly faded and he turned his back on them. "We don't serve stinking shinigami here," he said. Karin was shocked.

As they left the market area, Karin asked, "What the hell was that all about?"

Hitsugaya shrugged. "Most of the souls here don't like shinigami," he said. "They see us as the enemy."

"Why? Because shinigami live in the Seireitei?"

He nodded. "Life is difficult here." His response was simple, but Karin felt as though a real explanation of life in the Rukongai would take a lifetime to explain.

"_No wonder he is so…closed,"_ she thought, glancing at him as they walked.

As they rounded a corner, two small boys, seven or eight years old at the most, were walking towards them. She smiled at them, and they stopped walking. They didn't seem to mind the fact that Hitsugaya was a shinigami. In fact, they seemed fascinated by his uniform and zanpakuto.

"Hello," said Karin. She bent down so that her face was at the same level as theirs.

"Hello," said the older of the two, smiling back at her. "You're pretty."

"Thank you," she said, smiling. As she said it, Karin suddenly felt a wave of dizziness wash over her. For a brief moment, she thought she was going to be sick. The little boy's face shimmered with the same strange aura she had seen on Jiro and Kazu's faces only a few hours earlier. She had to put her hand on the ground to keep from losing her balance.

"Karin," said Toushirou, noticing her unsteadiness, "is everything all right?"

"I'm fine," she said, trying to steady herself to stand up. "A little dizzy, that's all. Just give me a minute."

The little boy looked at her with concern. "Pretty lady," he said, "are you sick?"

She smiled reassuringly, "I'm fine, really." But, as she spoke the words, the world around her began to spin, and she thought she saw something in the child's face. Another layer, something underneath the look of concern. Another face full of pain and fear.

Karin tried to stand up again, but the world spun around again, and the next thing she knew, she was falling.

_They were fighting. Again. Mommy was back from her job. She worked at a diner in the city. She brought people their food. Mommy looks tired._

"_You're late." A male voice now, deep, but hoarse from yelling. _

_At least he's not yelling at me anymore, thought the little boy. I hate it when he yells at me._

"_I've told you a hundred times not to be late," said the boy's father, "I need to eat sometime. What kind of a wife do you think you are, making us all wait for you?!"_

_He cowered in the corner, watching. The man is really angry. Sometimes, when he gets mad, he spanks me. I don't want to get spanked. It hurts. And sometimes, when I cry, he hits me in the face. _

"_I'm sorry, honey," said his mother, trying to calm her husband down, "the train was late, and I had to wait."_

_He heard a slap. The man's hitting Mommy again. Mommy's crying. He's hurting her. I hate it when he hits her. I hate it!_

"Karin. Karin!"

"No, please don't hurt her," she said, tears running down her cheeks. "Please don't hurt her!"

"Karin. It's okay. It's me, Hitsugaya-taicho. Toushirou. Nobody is going to hurt anyone."

Slowly, the world came into focus again as Karin struggled to open her eyes. She looked up at Toushirou. He looked worried.

"Toushirou?" she said, not sure of who he was. "Oh, Hitsugaya-taicho. I…I'm so sorry."

Karin got to her feet, wiping the tears from her face.

"What happened just now?" he asked her, having reassured himself that she could stand without help.

"I don't know," she said. "It was like some of the dreams I used to have when I was little. So real… I just looked into that child's face, and all of a sudden I could see into his soul. See his memories from the Real World, I guess." She was at a loss to explain it.

"We should take you to see Captain Unohana." When he saw no look of recognition on Karin's face, Hitsugaya added, "She's the Captain of the squad that oversees the health of the shinigami."

Karin blushed, suddenly embarrassed by her apparent weakness. "That's very kind of you, but I'm fine. Really."

His look told her he was unconvinced. "Then I will at least tell your brother."

"_And what could he possibly do about it?"_ she thought, angry at the insinuation that she could not handle it herself. That she was weak.

"No!" It came out much louder than she had anticipated. "Don't tell him…Please…I'm sure it's just that I'm getting used to being around spirits instead of living people. I'm sure it won't happen again." After a moment, she added, "Please, Toushirou."

Hitsugaya looked skeptical. "I will not tell him this time, Karin. If it happens again, however…"

"I'm sure it won't," she said, interrupting him. _"And if it does,"_ she thought_, "I certainly won't be telling you about it."_


	5. Awakening

Chapter Five: Awakening

By the time Hitsugaya and Karin arrived at the restaurant, Ichigo and the others were already there. Several bottles of sake sat open on the table, nearly finished. Rukia, seeing Karin, got up and gave her a big hug.

"Kuchiki-taicho, huh?" said Karin, smiling. "Congratulations, Rukia. It's so good to see you again. You had us worried. I thought I'd personally have to kick my brother's ass if he didn't go find you."

"You're welcome to kick him anytime you think he needs it," Rukia laughed.

"Rukia kicks me often," laughed Ichigo, smirking. Karin had never seen either of them so happy. Apparently, the rumors were true.

"Hey, Karin," shouted Renji from the end of the table, "why don't you and Hitsugaya join us over here."

Karin and Hitsugaya made their way to the end of the table. Renji, with a flourish, pulled a chair out for Karin. Then he put his arm around Karin and leaned over to Hitsugaya, saying, "Better watch out for this one, Toushirou, she's trouble."

"I could say the same for you, Renji, especially after downing a bottle of sake by yourself," laughed Karin. Hitsugaya said nothing, but poured her some sake.

"Hey, Renji, hands off my little sister," yelled Ichigo from the other end of the table, "or I'm going to shove my zanpakuto somewhere really painful!" Renji laughed, but he let go of Karin all the same.

Renji introduced Karin to the rest of the group, including Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rangiku and Izuru. She had heard Ichigo speak about most of them, and it was nice to finally put faces with names. Toushirou sat quietly on her right, although he drank quite a bit of sake. On her left, Renji quickly polished off another bottle before their dinners arrived.

It was late when they left the restaurant. Karin was thankful that the next day was a day off for Academy students.

"Need an escort back?" asked Renji, as they walked out of the restaurant. Karin saw Ichigo nod approvingly. This one wasn't worth arguing about, she thought as she started to bristle at the implication of Ichigo's look. If Renji was too overprotective, she could always lose him inside the Seireitei.

"Sure," she said, staring daggers at Ichigo. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Toushirou looking at her, his face unreadable._ "He's probably thrilled he doesn't have to babysit me again," she thought._

The group walked together to the gate, and everyone said their goodbyes. Karin and Renji headed in the direction of the Academy. It was the first clear night Karin had seen since arriving in the Soul Society, and she was amazed at how much the sky looked like it had in Karakura. The stars were plentiful, the moon hung low on the horizon, and there was a gentle breeze.

"Can we take a little detour?" Karin asked Renji as they walked. "It's so beautiful out tonight, I hate to go back just yet."

Renji smiled. "Sure, where are you thinking?"

"Just someplace where I can sit and enjoy the stars," said Karin, longingly.

"Got just the place. Follow me."

Renji led Karin to a garden near the Seireitei wall with stone paths and benches scattered about. The few trees in the garden were small enough so as not to block the view of the sky, and Karin smiled contentedly as she lay back on one of the benches, looking up. Renji took the bench next to her and did the same.

"Different than the Real World?" he asked.

"Not really," she said, yawning slightly, "although I never thought about it much before."

"Happy you decided to come?" he asked casually.

"To the Soul Society? Or to the Academy?"

"Both, I guess," he replied.

"To the Soul Society, yes, definitely. The Academy…I'm not sure. I'm withholding judgment for now."

"It's not easy. Being different, I mean," he said. "I got a lot of crap when I was there…being from the Rukongai and all."

"I suppose being from the Real World isn't all that much different than being from the Rukongai, since the majority of the students are from the Seireitei," she said. "But it's not that, really. I've always been…well…different."

"Ichigo, then?"

"You got it."

"I hear you're well on your way to making your own reputation," Renji said, laughing.

"What do you mean?" Karin demanded, sitting up. "What have I done now?"

"Relax. You haven't done anything. It's just that I hear your reiatsu's pretty powerful, and that you're the best freshman in kido the school's seen in years," Renji replied, laughing. There was silence for a few minutes, and then Renji said, seriously, "There are always people who'll compare you to him. Just ignore them."

"Easy for you to say."

"Nah, easy for me to do," he said, sitting up and looking at her.

"_I guess he gets it, too. The comparisons. How stupid of me not to realize it," thought Karin. "I'm not the only one that has to live up to Ichigo."_

Renji walked Karin back to the Academy. The sun was beginning to rise, and the sky had taken on a purple-pink hue. The Academy grounds were deserted, peaceful.

"Thanks, Renji. For the escort, for the advice." He grinned.

"Yeah, well, I don't give a damn about being compared to your brother," he said, "so don't get the wrong idea." Karin laughed.

They were standing close to each other. Renji looked at her for a moment, undecided. Then, making up his mind, he kissed her. It took her totally by surprise.

"Ichigo's going to kill me," he laughed. And then he was gone, leaving her there to wonder what had just happened.

********************************

It took Karin a long time to fall asleep that night. Renji's kiss had been so totally unexpected, she wasn't sure what to make of it.

"_It's not like it was unpleasant. It was actually pretty nice," she thought, smiling at the memory of it. "It's just that, I've always thought of him as a second big brother."_

"Guess he doesn't think of me as a little sister," she said, out loud this time, laughing softly.

Karin thought more about her conversation with Renji. Was it really true that she had started to develop a reputation in her own right? _"Since when are you so insecure, Karin?" she thought, mentally kicking herself. "That's never been your style."_

Karin fell asleep, smiling. Hours later, she woke to the sounds of explosions in the courtyard. Looking out her window, she could see some of the students practicing kido. "Time to get up and face reality," she said to herself, rolling out of bed. It was already lunchtime, and she headed down to the main dining hall to grab a bite to eat before heading out to find a place to practice.

"Karin!" Jiro, smiling broadly, was waving at her. Karin was relieved to see his face looked normal again. The strange aura of the day before was gone.

"Hey, Jiro. Care to join me for a little combat practice?"

Jiro was thrilled at the invitation, and they walked together until they found a spot in one of the wooded areas on the Academy grounds. The trees were spaced far enough apart that there was room to maneuver, and there were very few other students around.

"_A perfect place to make a fool of yourself without anyone but Jiro to see it," thought Karin with a smile._

Practice started well. Jiro, despite his pimply face and teenage awkwardness, was a much better fighter than he let on in class. He had a natural, street-fighter's instinct, and he moved quite easily, despite the fact that he was tall and gangly.

The freshmen had not yet been given the opportunity to spar with one another, instead forced to focus on only one particular area of fighting at a time during classes. Now, combining swordplay, kido, and martial arts techniques, Jiro and Karin found they had become far better fighters than they were before entering the Academy. With practice, they began to anticipate the proper technique to use when countering each other's attacks.

After about two hours of sparring, Karin suggested they take a short break. She and Jiro sat together on the grass, zanpakutos leaning against a nearby tree, and ate a snack.

"That was fun," said Jiro, rubbing his nose, "I wish we could do that in class instead of repeating the same boring drills. The Academy's just about as dull as life in the Rukongai."

Karin laughed and lay back on the grass, looking up at the sky. "Jiro, how long had you lived in the Rukongai before you joined the Academy?"

"Not sure," he said easily, "a few years, I guess. I don't remember much about the time when I first arrived there."

"What do you mean?" asked Karin, her curiosity piqued.

"I keep forgetting you're not from the Soul Society," he said, "I guess I just assume you know about everything here."

"It seems I know a lot less than I thought I did," she said, a slight note of sadness in her voice.

"When souls arrive in the Rukongai from the Real World, we come with the memories of our prior lives pretty much intact," explained Jiro, now lying back on the grass himself. "After a while though, we start to forget things. Who we were, where we lived, you know, that sort of stuff." Karin turned her head to look at him.

"It's not a bad thing, you know, forgetting," he said, worried that she might misunderstand him, "We make new friends, we join new families."

"That seems kind of sad, though," she said, "forgetting the people you cared about in the Real World."

"It's not, really," Jiro explained, "I think it's almost easier this way. I mean, if you remembered everything, you'd always be missing people from your life. This way, you get a new life and a new future."

Karin wasn't sure how she felt about that idea. _"I'm lucky," she thought, "that I have all my memories and my family."_

"I've heard stories," continued Jiro, "about people who remembered things from their prior lives. A friend of mine once told me that people commit suicide sometimes, because the pain of remembering is so great.

"Most of the people that remember stuff, though, just sort of remember the feelings. I guess they remember that they were happy people or sad people. I'm not sure. I really don't remember anything from my life."

**********************************

It was just starting to get dark when Karin and Jiro headed back to the dormitories to wash up for dinner. As they neared the courtyard, Karin saw a shinigami, dressed in black, sitting on the wall about twenty feet above them. The red ponytail was unmistakable.

"Karin!"

"Hey, Renji, what are you doing here? Not checking up on me for Ichigo, I hope."

"Nah," he said with a smirk. "Thought I'd see if you wanted to grab some dinner in town."

Renji hopped down from his perch and landed, soundlessly, in front of her and Jiro. Jiro's jaw dropped.

"Jiro," she said with a smile, "don't let this idiot intimidate you. He's really just a big teddy bear."

Renji growled something unintelligible and crossed his arms.

"Okay," she said, with a smirk now, "maybe not a teddy bear. Something meaner."

Renji laughed.

"Jiro, this is Renji," and then, catching the slight scowl on Renji's face, she said, "Abarai-fukutaicho, Sixth Division."

"Nice to meet you, Abarai-fukutaicho," said Jiro, his voice quavering slightly. "Uh, Karin, I gotta go now, uh,…I gotta do something." Jiro was gone before Karin could even say goodbye.

"He's scared of you, Renji," she said, grinning.

"Yeah. At least I know I haven't lost my touch," Renji replied. "So, how about dinner?"

"What would Ichigo say?" asked Karin with mock concern.

"Who gives a damn," was the response. "He doesn't have to know. Sushi?"

"Okay, now you're giving me no choice," she laughed, "I'm sick of Academy food. I'll go get permission…"

"No need," said Renji. "Gotei 13 business. Official stuff. They won't care."

**********************************

They ate at a small restaurant in the center of the Seireitei. Karin was extra hungry after practicing, and she downed a large plate of sushi in no time.

"Wow," laughed Renji, "You and your brother have more in common than I thought!"

"Watch it there, Pineapple Head, or I'll have to try out my new kido spell on you!"

They both laughed and drank more sake.

For the most part, their conversation was easy, comfortable. A few more glasses of sake, though, and Karin began to think more about her conversation with Jiro that afternoon. Emboldened by the alcohol and the easy rapport she felt with Renji, Karin decided to take a chance and discuss weightier things.

"Hey, Renji?" she said, swirling her sake around in its glass.

"Eh?"

"You grew up in the Rukongai, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember anything about your life in the Real World?"

His face froze. For a moment, Karin thought she had overstepped herself. But then, his expression softened somewhat, as if he was remembering something he had long forgotten.

"Yeah," he said, looking at her with curiosity. "Why do you ask?"

Karin sighed briefly. "Renji," she asked, her face now serious, "can I trust you not to tell anyone else? I need to know you won't go running to my brother about this."

"You have my word. Whatever you have to say is just between the two of us, Karin." She knew he would keep his promise.

"I've always been able to feel spirits, Renji," she said, watching his face for his reaction.

"Sure, like Ichigo did as a kid, right?"

"No," she said evenly. "I don't just see them. I feel what they feel. Their happiness, their joy, their pain…" She remembered the pain she had felt in the soul of the child she had met in the Rukongai and her voice trailed off.

She told him what had happened when she was with Toushirou. About passing out. About the vision she had. "I remember the same kind of thing happening when I was a child," she continued. "Except, back then, they were vivid dreams. When I'd wake up, it was as if I had lived through the experiences myself.

"It's different here, in the Soul Society, though," she continued, afraid that if she stopped, she'd lose her nerve. "I'm starting to sense things in people I meet." She looked into his eyes, probing.

He said nothing, but looked at her with concern. Karin felt an overwhelming urge to be totally honest with him, to make him understand exactly what she was saying. And then, it came to her. She could see it in his eyes. His past.

"You were four years old when you died, weren't you, Renji?" she asked softly.

"I, uh…yeah," he said, his face registering surprise, even slight shock. "I was killed in a car accident in Okinawa."

"Your mother died that day, too, didn't she?" Karin's eyes filled with tears. "You tried to find her here, didn't you, Renji? In the Rukongai?"

His face was unreadable.

"You did find her, didn't you? You found her. But she didn't remember you."

He didn't have to say anything. The pain in his eyes said it all.


	6. Roads Taken

Chapter Six: Roads Taken

Hitsugaya Toushirou was irritated. More paperwork. This time, applications for the Academy's Placement Program, created after the War to help replenish the ranks of the Gotei 13 by accelerating promising Academy students. Matsumoto had left the forms on his desk with a big note saying, "I'm not filling this out for you this year."

Hitsugaya frowned. _"This is __her__ job," he thought. "I don't have time."_

He sat down at his desk, looking for an excuse not to complete the paperwork, to put it back on her desk with a note of his own saying, "Sorry I couldn't get to it, too busy." No luck. Matsumoto had finished all the other reports that had been waiting for him. _"She waits to do the reports for weeks, and she finishes them now so I won't have a reason to avoid the Placement Program forms." _She was up to something. He knew it. He just didn't know what yet.

Hitsugaya's relationship with Matsumoto had always been a tumultuous one, at least from a personal perspective. For years, she had taken on an almost motherly role. He hadn't needed a mother, let alone one who could drink him onto the floor. Then, a few years ago, they had ended up drunk and in bed together. It had been an evening he sorely regretted, having tipped the balance of their comfortable relationship towards chaos. Her carefree, laid-back attitude and his uptight, emotionally closed-off persona were not a good mix.

Two years later, after what had included a brief stint of living together in his quarters, they had both decided they were better-off as friends and colleagues. She had returned to her role as nurturer and bar companion, and he had returned to his comfortable solitude. They were both happier for it.

He kicked his feet up onto the desk and leaned back, looking over the Academy papers, still frowning. In the past, the Placement Program had been a waste of his time. Each squad was supposed to choose at least one student who showed promise, in the hopes of promoting them to a permanent position. None of the candidates had been offered a permanent place with the Tenth Division, despite Matsumoto's efforts.

"_What is she up to?" he wondered._

The papers consisted of a form which listed several dozen students as potential matches for each Division. Also included was a form that the Divisions were to return to the school with the students the Division would accept on a trial basis for the six-month duration of the Program.

Hitsugaya skimmed the list of students. He recognized a few with surnames of some of the better-known Seireitei families. And then, he saw a name about halfway down the page that caught his attention. Kurosaki Karin.

"_Sneaky Matsumoto," he thought, "you are __too__ obvious when you're trying to fix me up with someone."_

Kurosaki Karin. Unusual woman. Of course, that wasn't terribly surprising, given her father and her brother. Still, Hitsugaya had thought of her on at least a few occasions since the dinner in the Rukongai nearly three months ago. He had to admit to himself that Karin was an extremely attractive woman. Tall, dark, intelligent and athletic, with curves in all the right places. Still, he had little time for women, other than supervising those in his squad.

Then there was the matter of Karin's unusual reaction to the child they had met in the Rukongai. She had appeared ill, yet she had recovered quite quickly, with no apparent lasting effects from the fainting spell. _"But there was more to it than just fainting," he thought to himself, remembering her tears and her words, "it's as if she could see into that child's soul. Feel what he was feeling."_ Empathy.

When he was growing up in the Rukongai, Hitsugaya had heard stories of empaths - souls who could sense the feelings of others. Still, he had never met one during his time in the Seireitei, nor had anyone in the Gotei 13 Divisions ever mentioned such an ability. He guessed that, even if empaths existed, the inhabitants of the Seireitei would not have thought much of their abilities. Unwarriorlike. He scribbled something on the papers and placed them back on the desk.

On the acceptance form, Hitsugaya had written only one name: Kurosaki Karin. _"All right, Matsumoto," he thought, as the corners of his mouth turned up slightly, "Let's see what you're up to."_ Still, he couldn't help but think that he would have chosen Karin, even without Matsumoto's prodding.

***********************************

Karin was sparring with one of the fourth-year students and she was losing. It was exam time, and the first years were paired with more experienced students for evaluation by the Academy instructors. All of the first year students and some of the upper classmen sat watching.

"Hado number nine, Geki!" she shouted. Karin's opponent, a tall boy by the name of Takahashi Daisuke, was immobilized in a beam of red light. Using her zanpakuto, Karin shot a large beam of energy towards the struggling Daisuke. The blast hit where Daisuke had been standing, but as the air cleared, Karin could see that he had freed himself from the spell and moved away, avoiding the attack.

"Damn. I need something stronger. Kido alone isn't going to save my sorry ass," said Karin under her breath. "If I could get my zanpakuto to do something more than just fire off energy bursts, I'd have half a chance at a decent grade."

"_Karin."_

She knew that voice. The same male voice she had heard when she had first run into Hitsugaya in the rain. Karin looked around, but there was no one near her.

"_Karin! Look inside."_

"_I'm losing it," she thought, "again. First the boy in the Rukongai, then Renji, then…"_

"_I'm here," came the voice again. "I am __not__ a spirit, and I can hear everything you are thinking, Karin."_

This time, as she heard the voice, Karin felt a slight vibration in her right hand. Where the hilt of her zanpakuto met her skin.

"_I've been speaking to you, Karin, but you haven't been listening."_

"_My zanpakuto? I didn't know you could…"_

"_Your brother told you, years ago, that a zanpakuto is not simply a weapon. I am __much__ more than that."_

"_I really __am__ losing it," Karin thought, as she dodged a particularly well-aimed kido spell from her opponent._

"_You are an amazingly stubborn woman." the voice continued. "Be quiet and listen to me, Karin. Stop babbling and just __listen__."_

Karin took a deep breath. What had Ichigo told her? Something about zanpakutos having personalities.

"_I can speak to my zanpakuto?" thought Karin, incredulously._

"_You weren't paying attention during that lesson," her zanpakuto replied. "Ichigo did explain it."_

"_He was a shitty teacher."_

"_What he told you was that, in order to achieve any advanced zanpakuto techniques, you must listen to your zanpakuto. You must know its name."_

"_You have a name?"_

"_Yes. Without my name, you will never earn shikai, let alone bankai."_

"_So are you going to tell me your name, or are you going to let me get beaten to a pulp here?" Karin thought with irritation._

There was no answer this time, and Karin barely managed to fire off another kido spell before she had to dive to miss an incoming attack from Daisuke. She rolled on the ground and got quickly back to her feet, zanpakuto raised in front of her.

"_What?" she demanded, "So now you stop talking to me?!"_

Still no response. She closed her eyes tightly, willing Daisuke not to attack, trying to concentrate on the warm feel of the blade, the tingle of energy from the weapon.

"_Okay, okay, I give," she thought, desperately, "Please, please! Please tell me your name!"_

Karin opened her eyes. She lifted the weapon straight up, blade pointing to the sky. Focusing all her energy on the place where Daisuke stood, Karin shouted, "Soar, Masumi!"

A glow like the sunset grew around the blade of Karin's zanpakuto. It shimmered and spread until it covered her entire body. She could feel the vibration of the energy in every pore of her skin, and it warmed her soul.

As she felt the energy of her weapon increase, so noticed that the form of her zanpakuto had changed. No longer the Soul Society standard-issue zanpakuto, the hilt was a fiery red, and the blade's surface was like a mirror, reflecting the sunlight like a thousand tiny flames. Masumi. 'True lucidity.'

"_What do I do now?" she asked Masumi. "Please show me what to do."_

Instinctively, Karin lowered Masumi's blade until it pointed straight out, parallel to the ground, her arm extended to its fullest reach. Using her wrist, she rotated the blade in a circular pattern. Larger and larger circles of orange grew in the air around the weapon, hanging in the air as Karin continued to rotate her wrist.

"_I understand," Karin thought, smiling now. She knew what Daisuke was going to do._

Daisuke raised his weapon. When Karin did not immediately attack, however, he saw his opening. A torrent of icy sparks issued from the end of his zanpakuto and moved quickly through the air, directly at Karin.

"_Now!" she thought, and she pulled Masumi straight back towards her._

The orange circles tightened, like small ropes, around Daisuke's attack. He tried to move, attempting to withdraw his zanpakuto from its attack position, but the weapon would not budge. Daisuke then attempted to let go of his sword, but his hand stuck fast. He put his free hand on top of his now frozen hand, pulling hard to release the weapon, but to no avail.

The ribbons of orange wound their way down the tip of Daisuke's weapon and snaked around his wrists. Karin quickly flicked her right wrist and Daisuke flew into the air and landed with a resounding crash about one-hundred feet from where he had stood. When the air cleared, Daisuke sat, empty-handed, looking completely dazed.

"Match to Kurosaki Karin!" shouted the referee.

"_Thank you!" thought Karin fervently. "Masumi-sensei."_

_********************************_

After the evaluation match, several dozen students, including some of the same students from her own squad who had laughed when she had first tried to use her zanpakuto, came up to congratulate Karin on the match. With the exception of one other student, a noble from the Seireitei, none of the first year students had attained shikai, and the buzz quickly spread through the Academy.

Karin, sweaty and exhausted, made her way back up to her room to shower and change into a clean uniform. The water felt wonderful, and she smiled at the memory of her breakthrough. Several minutes later, she arrived back at her room, looking forward to a few minutes of quiet to unwind. _"Maybe I can finally read one of the books Rukia lent me," she thought, as she dropped on her bed._

"Hey."

Karin jumped up and looked at the window. Renji was perched on the sill, looking at her with a contrite expression.

"Hey, Renji."

"I came to apologize," he said.

"For what?"

"For being a jerk. Leaving you in the restaurant. Not coming to see you for months." It was not easy for him to tell her this. The pain of his mother's memory was still fresh in his mind.

"It's okay, Renji. I understand."

"It's not okay, Karin. You didn't deserve it. It's just that…"

"It's really okay, Renji. You don't need to apologize."

There was a moment's awkward silence. Renji looked out the window. The sun was beginning to set. "Friends?" he asked.

"Friends," she said, smiling.

"Maybe we can try dinner again sometime," he said. She knew it would be a long time before they would have dinner alone together again. Maybe never.

"Sure, Renji. I'd like that."

And then he was gone. All of the exhilaration of winning the match, learning the name of her zanpakuto - all of it was gone, replaced by a deep sense of sadness. Loss.

"_He's afraid of me," she thought, forcing herself not to cry, "He's afraid I'll make him remember, that I'll make him feel the pain again."_


	7. Confessional

Chapter Seven: Confessional

Karin was standing in Rukia's office at the Thirteenth Division, looking out the window. _"I need to know why I'm like this," she thought. _There was really only one person Karin was sure knew the entire story. Her father. The thought angered her. _"He's known all these years, and he never told me anything," she thought, bitterly._

"Karin!"

Karin turned and smiled at Rukia, deep circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, "Rukia, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Karin, but you look terrible," said Rukia, ignoring pleasantries.

"I'm okay," lied Karin, "I just haven't been sleeping very well."

"They're working you too hard at the Academy, aren't they?" Rukia knew how tough the training could be, at times.

"No, really, it's actually been going quite well at the Academy. It's something else…" Karin hesitated. After a moment, she said, finally, "Rukia, I need a favor."

"Of course, what can I do?"

"I…I need a senkai gate."

"A senkai gate? Why?"

"I need to see my father."

*****************************

The Kuchiki family gate was unmonitored by the Soul Society. Karin went directly to the Kurosaki Clinic, bypassing Urahara and the opportunity to reclaim her body. She had no need to speak to anyone but Isshin.

It was late morning on a Saturday when Karin arrived at the Clinic. Isshin was sitting in his office, reviewing patient charts.

"Dad."

"Karin! My darling daughter, come back to pay her old father a visit. Let me give you a hug." Isshin stood up, stupid grin on his face, and walked towards her.

"Cut the crap, Dad. I'm too old, and you know too much to bullshit me." Karin crossed her arms over her chest. She was not going to give him the opportunity to weasel out of this.

Isshin eyed Karin warily and stood, watching her, his grin fading.

"I'm not ten anymore, and we both know what you are," she said evenly. "I deserve to know the truth. About Mom. About me."

"About you?"

"No bullshit this time, Dad."

Isshin sighed and sat back down in his chair.

"No," he said, his face now serious. "You're right. You deserve to know the truth. About Masaki and about you."

He motioned for Karin to sit. She did so, reluctantly.

"How much do you know, Karin? About me?" asked Isshin, studying her face.

"For years, all I knew was that you were aware of the Soul Society, that you knew about hollows, and that you knew Ichigo was a shinigami. Before he left the Real World for good, Ichigo told me that you had been a Gotei 13 captain, and that you had been forced to leave the Soul Society. He didn't explain why." Karin's face darkened somewhat, "Why didn't you ever tell us anything, Dad? What were you trying to hide?"

"Your brother wasn't too happy with me for keeping it a secret all those years, either," he said, looking, this time, genuinely remorseful.

She said nothing. She felt angry, hurt. Confused.

"I really had meant to tell you children about me, about Masaki…" his voice trailed off. "After she died, though, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I kept putting it off. It just seemed…easier."

"I knew that you opposed my going to the Academy. I never understood why. I still don't understand."

Isshin took a deep breath. For a moment, Karin thought, he looked old, tired, sad. "Your ability to see spirits, to feel what they feel…that comes from you mother, Karin."

"She was a shinigami?" asked Karin.

"I don't know. She may have been in a prior life. When I met her, she was a college student at the university here." For a moment, Isshin's eyes sparkled with something that Karin hadn't seen since she was a little girl. The spark of memory, of love for Masaki. Her mother.

"I was Captain of the Tenth Division, sent to Karakura Town on a mission to discover what had happened to the Vizards, to Urahara and Yoruichi. I was promoted because there were so many empty captaincies. I was young, inexperienced, stupid. I was also very curious about the Real World, about people. I took a lot of risks.

"I would hang out over by the university in the mornings, watching the students. I wanted to understand what being human was all about. One day, sitting there, I saw Masaki. Or, I guess I should say, she saw me."

"You were in your shinigami form?" asked Karin, her curiosity eroding her angry resolve.

"Back then, shinigami were forbidden to have any interaction with humans whatsoever. There would have been no need for a gigai," he answered. "Also, the few gigai that did exist in the Soul Society were primitive, difficult to use."

"Masaki came right up to me and asked me who I was and why I was wearing such strange clothing," he said, now laughing softly at the memory. "She was not particularly shy, your mother. Actually, she was a lot like you are right now, in many ways. Strong, confident, sensitive…She was just about your age, too, come to think of it."

"What did you do?" Karin remembered when she had first seen Ichigo in his shinigami form.

"Nothing," said Isshin, smiling now, "I tried to pretend I didn't exist. I figured she was looking at something else. Humans weren't supposed to see us and no one had ever told me otherwise. But Masaki was pretty insistent. She kept asking."

Karin shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Thinking about Masaki as a young woman made her feel sad for her father.

Isshin brightened. "I told her that I was a shinigami. I was totally honest. I was a total idiot," he said. "I don't know what the hell was going through my mind. She was just so beautiful,…so alive. I couldn't stay away from her.

"We dated. It was pretty strange. People would look at her like she was crazy – talking to the wall. I would meet her after classes. I started to neglect my duties. Then, one day, a few months later, I received a hell butterfly from the Soul Society, summoning me back.

"Yamamoto was furious. I had disobeyed one of the great laws of the Soul Society. I had not only had contact with a human, I had fallen in love with one. He gave me an ultimatum: no more contact with Masaki, or he would lock me up."

"What did you tell him?" asked Karin. She had, by now, forgotten her anger at him and was totally engrossed in the story.

"I lied. Said I wouldn't see her again, that I screwed up. Made a mistake," Isshin smiled, and in his smile, Karin could see the shadow of the reckless young shinigami. "I left the Soul Society that night. Never went back until the War after I saved your brother's ass.

"It took me almost three years to find Urahara. I think he suspected that the whole Masaki thing was a ruse to smoke him out of hiding. I finally convinced him that I wasn't spying for Yamamoto. He gave me a gigai. I think I was his test subject. But it wasn't just a gigai, it was as good as a body. I could live like a human being, have children. There was one catch, though. Once I put it on, I couldn't take it off.

"Of course," Isshin continued, "it didn't really matter anymore. I couldn't go back to the Soul Society. Yamamoto wasn't going to send anyone after me, but I had abandoned my command. I was no longer a shinigami."

"What about Mom?" asked Karin.

"She and I continued to see each other while I looked for Urahara. Nothing had really changed from her perspective during those three years. We got married, and the rest is history." Isshin stood up and looked out the window.

For a while, Karin said nothing. In spite of herself, she was no longer angry with her father. She could feel his pain. Not in the way she could feel the pain of some of the souls she had encountered, but it was, nonetheless, palpable. Karin stood up and went over to her father, giving him the hug she had withheld earlier.

"Thanks for telling me, Dad," she said softly. They held each other for a few minutes. It was the first time Karin had ever really seen her dad as a man. Before he had been many things: doctor, father, screw-up. Never just a man.

"Dad," she said. "The dreams I had as a kid. They've gotten worse. Now, when I meet souls in the Soul Society, sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the thoughts of their lives. It's so powerful, sometimes, I think I'm going to be sick, pass out. I need you to tell me anything you know about Mom, about how her spirit ability manifested itself. Please."

Isshin raised an eyebrow. He had suspected something like this might happen when Karin had gone to live in the Soul Society. _"She's so much like Masaki," he thought, "in so many ways."_

"I told you that Masaki could see me in my spirit form. What I didn't tell you was that she could also see hollows," said Isshin, thoughtfully. "She wasn't scared of them herself, although she feared what hollows could do to the people she loved. She told me once that the Soul Society didn't understand hollows. That they, too, had been spirits. That they had no choice in becoming what they were."

Karin remembered feeling much the same way as a child. She remembered feeling the presence of something that was not evil, in the hollows she had encountered. "I've felt that, too," she said. "When I was a kid."

"I laughed at your mom when she suggested that, instead of cleansing hollows using our zanpakuto, we should all be performing Konso on them," said Isshin, grinning, "She thought what we were doing was cruel. Of course, to a shinigami, it just seemed ludicrous. Still does. But I understand how she felt. We all are a product of fate in some sense."

"Best I know, Masaki never had the kind of nightmares you did as a kid, let alone something along the lines of what you've just told me. Still, I guess it wouldn't be too surprising that Masaki and I would have a kid like you," continued Isshin. "Have you asked Unohana about it?"

"No," replied Karin. "I felt fine afterwards. I'm starting to believe that this is just who I am. I don't think there's anything wrong with me, if that's what you mean."

****************************

Karin left her father, no longer angry, but still unsettled. Isshin had given her perspective, and she greatly appreciated that. _"At least I'm not totally nuts," she thought to herself as she passed through the Senkai gate back into the Soul Society._ Still, there were many unanswered questions, about the implications of her ability to read into souls, about what her mother had believed about hollows.

It was evening when Karin arrived back at the dormitories. The dining room was closed for the night, but she snagged a few things from the kitchens and headed up to her room. She had much to think about.

"_I'm going to have to talk to Ichigo at some point," she thought as she climbed the stairs. _She bristled at the thought that she needed advice from her older brother. _"Still, he may know something that would help me understand what this all means to me."_

She opened the door to her room and removed her zanpakuto, placing it carefully on her desk. She needed to talk to Masumi, she knew, but she was far too tired, too overwhelmed at that moment to find the concentration necessary to speak to her zanpakuto. It would have to wait.

As she started to get undressed, she glanced over onto her bed. There was a silver envelope sitting, neatly, on her pillow. It was addressed to 'Kurosaki Karin.' There was nothing else on the outside. Curious, Karin stopped and picked the envelope up. She opened it slowly, not sure what to expect inside. A reprimand for having left the Soul Society? A dinner invitation from Rukia?

She took out a delicate piece of parchment from inside and unfolded it. The writing was also silver, neat but devoid of flourishes.

"Kurosaki Karin. You have been selected to participate in a six-month trial placement with the Tenth Division. You are excused from your Academy classes until further notice. You will report to the Tenth Division tomorrow morning for orientation and will be given a barracks assignment at that time."

The note was signed, "Hitsugaya Toushirou."


	8. Blossoming

Chapter Eight: Blossoming

The next morning dawned warm and sunny. Despite the tumultuous events of the prior day, Karin slept soundly for the first time in weeks. She was not intimidated by the order to report to the Tenth. For the first time in her life, Karin would no longer be in a school of one form or another, and she looked forward to the change with some excitement.

Karin met Jiro and Kazu in the dining hall and gave them the news. They were, of course, both excited for her and disappointed that she would no longer be at the Academy.

"You never know, guys," joked Karin, "I may be back here in six months, taking exams with you!"

"Nah," sighed Kazu, solemnly, "you won't be back. I just know it."

"Then you'll both have to hurry up and finish so you can join me at the Tenth," she laughed. Their faces brightened with the possibility. An hour later, Karin reported in at the Tenth Division.

The Tenth Division barracks were much like the other squad barracks in the Soul Society in that they looked nothing like a Real World military installation. Instead, the Tenth consisted of sprawling grounds with many dwelling-type buildings connected by open breezeways. Gardens were interspersed amongst the buildings, and an enormous open area with spectator stands sat behind the buildings. The training field.

Karin walked into the main barracks building where the offices were located. She was met at the door by a young female shinigami, who guided Karin to an office at the back of the building, overlooking a garden. "Please have a seat, Kurosaki Karin. It will be just a minute," said the woman.

Several minutes later, a familiar voice said, "Karin! It's so wonderful to have you here!"

Karin stood up and turned to see Rangiku, standing in the doorway and smiling. The two women embraced, and Rangiku walked over to the desk and sat, atop a pile of papers, on the desk itself, her feet dangling over the edge. She motioned Karin to have a seat.

"Sorry about the mess, Karin," laughed Rangiku, as several bits of papers fell off the desk and landed, unceremoniously on the floor, "I only do paperwork once a month. Sanity rule. Makes Toushirou really angry, too, which is a definite plus." Rangiku grinned evilly.

"You obviously got the letter," she continued. "I'm glad you accepted the offer."

"I didn't know I had a choice," laughed Karin, "although I'd be crazy to object."

Rangiku hopped off the desk and more papers sailed into the air. "I'll have someone take your things and put them in your quarters," said Rangiku. "Why don't I show you around a bit, introduce you to some of the squad."

Karin followed Rangiku out of the office. Rangiku introduced Karin to some of the seated officers, most of whom were at their desks, sifting through papers. "Sometimes I think Old Yamamoto has nothing better to do than to generate paperwork for the squads," she said, laughing musically, "I guess he thinks it'll keep us out of trouble. Fat chance."

It was nearly noon by the time Rangiku showed Karin to her quarters, a medium-sized room on the second floor of a building located near the practice field. It had a small window which looked out on one of the gardens and its own small bathroom.

"Upgrade," said Rangiku, seeing Karin's surprise at the accommodations. "It helps to be a friend of the vice-captain."

"Thanks," said Karin, appreciatively. She had always liked Rangiku. She admired her free spirit and her sense of humor. Coming to the Tenth felt a little bit like coming home.

"My pleasure," came the response. "Besides, I figure I can come hang out with you and hide from Toushirou from time to time."

"Anytime!" laughed Karin. After a moment, Karin finally got up her nerve to ask the question that had been burning on her lips, "Rangiku, why was I chosen for this spot? I'm not exactly the typical Academy student, you know."

Another ringing laugh, and Rangiku answered, "Well, you were chosen partly because you aren't typical." Then, looking at Karin with a bit of a smirk, she said, "Besides, we could use someone like you around here to help shake things up."

"_I'm here less than a year, and I'm already known as someone who shakes things up?" thought Karin._

Rangiku, seeing the look of discomfort on Karin's face, said quickly, "That's a good thing, Karin. Believe me. Toushirou's a bit of a stuffed shirt, as you say in the Real World. Don't get me wrong - he's an excellent captain - it's just that he's a bit uptight."

This, of course, came as no surprise to Karin. Even when she met Hitsugaya ten years before, he had seemed walled-off to her. Closed. Controlled. She wondered if there were something behind that cool exterior that might explode if it were allowed to escape.

"Yeah," laughed Karin, "that's a pretty fair description of him."

"He's been…more that way, since Aizen nearly killed Momo, all those years ago," sighed Rangiku, her eyes focused on some far away place.

"Momo?" asked Karin. She had never heard that name before.

"She was like a sister to him. They grew up together in the Rukongai. That sick bastard Aizen used her, and then nearly killed her when she had outlived her usefulness. She's never been the same since," explained Rangiku, her eyes now sad. "She's in a long-term care facility the Fourth operates on the edge of the Rukongai.

"Toushirou won't go see Momo anymore. I'm not really sure why. I guess it's because seeing her is too painful for him. He won't talk about it. I've tried… Maybe he just needs the right person to draw him out."

Karin remembered Hitsugaya, sitting on the side of the road in Karakura all those years before, staring up at the sky. 'It brings back memories,' he had said. She wondered if those memories involved Momo.

"_In spite of the title, in spite of his power," Karin thought as she remembered the Hitsugaya from that time, "he was really just a kid. Running away from something."_ It didn't sound as though he had changed all that much, despite outward appearances.

"I'm going to leave you to get settled in a bit," said Rangiku, abruptly changing the subject. "We're divided up into smaller squads here at the Tenth. Your squad leader will be by in a little while to give you an orientation and introduce you to the other squad members."

Matsumoto left Karin, promising to meet up with her again in the afternoon. Karin couldn't help wondering if Rangiku thought she, Karin, would be the one to draw Hitsugaya out of his self-imposed shell.

***********************************

About an hour later, there was a knock on Karin's door. A tall, broad-shouldered shinigami stood, smiling, in the doorway.

"Kurosaki," said the man in a deep baritone, "I am Jito Akio. Third seat, Squad One leader. You'll be with my squad for the next six months."

Karin bowed. "Nice to meet you, Jito-sama. It's an honor."

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do. I've heard a great deal about you," said Akio. Karin winced. Her reaction was, apparently, not lost on Akio.

"Not all of what I've heard about you has to do with your famous brother, Kurosaki. Word is, you're quite a powerful shinigami, and your Kido is outstanding. I've also heard a rumor that you've already achieved Shikai. Not too shabby."

"Thank you, sir," said Karin, relieved.

Akio took Karin to meet the other Squad One members. There were twenty in all, most of whom were experienced soldiers. They all knew about Ichigo, of course, but unlike the outright adulation of the Academy students, these practiced shinigami did not dwell on the connection. It was apparent that they viewed Karin as her own person, and they were interested to see what strengths she brought to their squad.

Akio suggested that he and Karin spar, so he could get an idea of what she was capable of. Willing herself not to surrender to the insecurity that had plagued her when she first arrived at the Academy, Karin agreed.

The sparring match started slowly. Akio, a skilled fighter, gave Karin time to get her bearings. He clearly wanted to explore her style and strengths. Karin fired off two Kido spells in rapid succession, both of which landed with exceptional accuracy where Akio had been standing. He, of course, was able to easily move to avoid the attacks, and this did not surprise Karin. She, also, was trying to learn more about him, as an opponent.

Akio, it turned out, had an elemental zanpakuto that utilized wind to deliver its attacks. Karin had some familiarity with this type of weapon from her Academy training, since several of her classmates possessed a similar ability. Akio's experience, however, was a factor Karin was unable to account for, and she quickly found herself in a defensive position.

"Hado thirty-one, Shakkahou!" shouted Karin, as she dodged an attack from Akio's zanpakuto. As with the other spells, Akio was able to dodge the attack with relative ease, although a huge hole remained where he had once stood.

"_Masumi-sensei, I need your guidance," thought Karin, willing herself to concentrate as she dodged a powerful burst of energy from Akio's zanpakuto which nearly blew her off her feet. "Please, guide me!"_

"_I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about me," replied Masumi, and Karin swore she heard him laugh. "Your opponent is quite strong, Karin. He is not, however, stronger than you. He only has more practice."_

"_No kidding," she thought, swearing under her breath, "Tell me something I __don't__ know."_

"_My pleasure," said Masumi. "Jito Akio's zanpakuto requires him to face his opponent to aim an attack."_

"_Damn," she said, "you're right. I didn't notice."_

"_You were too busy using Kido to see. You must not become wedded to any particular form of offense or defense, Karin. Your talents lie in the flexibility of your powers."_

"_Flexibility?" she asked._

"_Yes," came the reply. "You are strong at Kido, but I, also, am strong. I can help you focus your thoughts, to sense the vulnerability in your opponent. Use your senses to feel how best to respond, and I will direct the attack."_

Karin understood what she had to do. "Bakudo thirty-nine. Enkosen!" A bright shield of light formed in front of Karin, effectively obscuring her from view. "Hado thirty-three, Soukatsui!" A large burst of blue light flew at the spot where Jito Akio stood, and he moved to avoid the attack.

"Now, Masumi!"

Karin, using shunpo, maneuvered her way behind Akio and, at the same time, aimed the blade of her zanpakuto at the shinigami's weapon arm. A haze of orange issued from the end of Karin's zanpakuto, which grew until it surrounded Akio.

"_Wind," thought Karin._ _"There can't be any wind where there is no air." _Tiny needles of orange formed in the haze, which touched Akio's blade and his body, effectively immobilizing him. The haze glowed, and wisps of condensation floated out of the now reddish-orange cocoon which surrounded Akio, as the air within was forced outwards.

Karin could feel Akio's reiatsu as he fought against her attack. _"Time to finish this, Karin," whispered Masumi._

"_Show me what to do, Sensei," she thought, closing her eyes._

"_Breathe, Karin."_

She did so. Deeply. And, as she breathed in, Akio's zanpakuto shimmered briefly in the haze, as if it was struggling to maintain its integrity. Then, silently, wisps of red grew all around the zanpakuto and it vanished, completely, from Akio's hand. Karin turned her head and focused her eyes on a spot about thirty-feet away from where she stood. She exhaled, and there, on the ground, Akio's zanpakuto rematerialized, whole and untouched.

There was silence for about a minute. No one in the squad moved. Akio, still standing where he had been frozen, although no longer immobilized, stared in amazement. Then, slowly, a broad smile spread across his face.

"That was incredible, Karin. Where did you learn to do that?"

"I…ah…," stammered Karin, "Masumi told me what to do." She looked down at her zanpakuto, which felt warm in her hand, still vibrating with the energy of the last attack. The blade still glowed slightly orange.

"You could have destroyed my weapon, Karin," said Akio, "why didn't you?"

"I didn't need to, Jito-sama," she answered, the understanding coming to her only as she spoke the words. "There was no reason to destroy it. You were already defeated." Karin did not speak the words to boast. It was simply a statement.

****************************************

A few hours later, Karin stood waiting in Hitsugaya's office, summoned by the same young female shinigami who had greeted her when she had first arrived at the Tenth. Word had apparently spread of Karin's abilities, because the young woman, who had been up until that point, nameless, introduced herself and bowed deeply when Karin had answered the door to her quarters.

"Kurosaki-san, I am Higa Reika, Hitsugaya Taicho's assistant. The Captain would like to see you in his office. He will meet you there shortly."

Once inside Hitsugaya's office, Karin walked over to the large window and peered out. The sky was beginning to warm with the colors of sunset. Karin was still amazed at the intensity of the colors here in the Soul Society, especially the sky. It was as if, by abandoning her body, she was finally able to see and feel things more directly, experience them in a more elemental way.

Karin did not have to wait long. Hitsugaya was not a man of drama. He did not make entrances in the formal sense. Instead, he walked into the office without looking at Karin, his hands full of papers, and dropped them unceremoniously on his desk.

"Have a seat, please," he said, as he himself sat down in his desk chair without meeting her eyes.

Karin sat in one of the chairs facing Hitsugaya's desk.

"Jito Akio told me about your sparring match this afternoon," said Hitsugaya, looking through some of the papers he had been holding. His tone was business-like, without emotion. "He believes you will be a valuable asset to the Division."

"Thank you," said Karin, somewhat uncomfortably. There was something in his manner that still disconcerted her, left her feeling self-conscious. Something she just couldn't put her finger on. It had been there since the day she had first met Hitsugaya in the Real World, ten years before.

Hitsugaya looked up at Karin for the first time since he had entered the office. "Karin," his tone changing, "I am still concerned about what happened to you in the Rukongai. I have not told your brother anything about it. That is between you and Ichigo."

As she looked into his face, Karin felt a familiar dizziness and nausea sweep over her. She fought the feeling, willing herself to stay in the moment, not to lose herself in the hazy aura she saw in Hitsugaya's face.

"_No," thought Karin, panic rising inside her, "not now, of all times."_

"I appreciate that," Karin managed to say, through her discomfort.

"_I can help you with this, Karin." _

"_Masumi! Please," she thought, urgently, wondering why she hadn't thought to ask him before._

"_Don't fight it, Karin. It is only when you fight these feelings that you lose yourself to them."_

"Now, however, you are under my command," continued Hitsugaya, "I will not be able to ignore any incidents that might jeopardize your safety or the safety of the Tenth. Do you understand?"

"Of course, I understand completely," Karin answered through the haze. She blinked and looked away from him for a moment, trying to get her bearings. The slightly sick feeling was still there.

"_You are still fighting it, Karin," said Masumi patiently. "Give in to the sensation, and you will not drown this time. You must trust me."_

Karin forced herself to breathe, trying to look as normal as possible under the circumstances. With all her resolve, she looked back into Hitsugaya's eyes and allowed herself to experience the feelings that she saw there.

_Karin caught a brief glimpse of a woman, young, vibrant, smiling. A tiny boy, laughing and playing with an old tennis ball in the grass. A boy with silver hair. _

_Then, just as quickly, a different scene. A train, leaving from a station filled with people. "Mommy?" The little boy was panicked, "Mommy, where are you?" He was so small, pressed in amongst the people. All he could see were legs, feet, baggage. It was suffocating._

And then, just as Karin thought the feelings would overwhelm her, that she would lose herself in the memories, the room came back into focus, and she could see Hitsugaya's face. His eyes.

"_Thank goodness," she thought, silently thanking Masumi._

*********************************

As he sat there, in his office, looking at her, Toushirou felt just the slightest sensation of falling. A memory, something he had purposefully and, he thought, permanently relegated to the depths of his consciousness, stirred, just slightly. Unconsciously, he gripped the chair with one hand.

"_Is it because of her?" he thought, looking at Karin._

Toushirou forced the memory back to its place, its prison, deep inside. And, just as quickly as it had come, the sensation of falling was gone, and he felt the familiar, comforting feeling of control return.

"Thank you, Karin," he said, convinced that he had made his point. "Welcome to the Tenth."

As Toushirou watched Karin leave his office, he felt a mixture of both relief and regret. He had never felt himself so drawn to another person and, at the same time, so uneasy.


	9. Hiding Places

Chapter Nine: Hiding Places

As promised, Matsumoto came by Karin's room late afternoon. "Join me for dinner?" Karin, who hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, gladly agreed.

Ten minutes later, Karin and Rangiku arrived at a nearby restaurant that appeared to be completely filled with members of the Tenth Division. Like most of the restaurants Karin had been to in the Seireitei, there was a large bar that took up most of the dining area. The fact that shinigami liked to drink was clearly not lost on the restaurant owner.

Rangiku led Karin to a small table in a relatively secluded corner of the restaurant. It was already occupied.

"Matsumoto. Kurosaki."

"Good evening, Toushirou," trilled Rangiku, smiling broadly. "May we join you?"

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho," growled Toushirou, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"Right," said Rangiku, taking her seat. Karin sat down with a nod, trying not to laugh. She knew she was observing something of a ritual, and the focal point of endless ribbing on the part of Rangiku.

Rangiku ordered several bottles of sake to accompany the constant stream of sushi that made its way to the table. They ate and drank. Matsumoto, true to form, ran the conversation at their table.

Toushirou watched Karin with curiosity. There was little opportunity for Karin to get a word in edgewise, and he noted with approval that she knew better than to try interrupting. Karin clearly preferred to observe, rather than dominate social interactions.

After about an hour, and after the two original bottles of sake had been replaced with several new ones, Matsumoto left, ostensibly to speak to one of the squad leaders about some matter at the Division. Toushirou knew better. This had all been planned - an opportunity for him to have time alone with Karin. He didn't mind. He was looking forward to it.

Toushirou looked at Karin and smiled. "You know this is a set up," he said, smiling. "She's been trying to get us together since the day you arrived in the Soul Society."

Karin appeared slightly taken aback at his comment. "Does that bother you?" he asked, seeing her expression.

"Oh, no, not at all," she replied honestly. Then, laughing softly, she said, "I'm sorry if it came off that way. No, I was thinking about something else."

"What is that?" he asked, curious.

"I was thinking that I don't think I've ever seen you smile before," said Karin. Toushirou raised an eyebrow.

"I do smile, sometimes," he said, with a slight smirk.

"Even the best of us can't help it, I guess," Karin laughed, as she drank her sake.

As he sat there, watching her, Toushirou felt the flutter of something stirring, deep inside. Something unwelcome. The smile on his face faded. The change of expression was not lost on Karin.

"So," he said, changing the subject, "how have you been adjusting to life in the Soul Society? I imagine it's a difficult change from the Real World."

"Actually, no," she said. "It feels more like…coming home, I guess. It's almost as if I've been away all my life, and I'm finally back where I wanted to be all along. It's taken me a while to realize it, though."

"Why is that?" he asked, genuinely interested. She was so compelling that he truly wanted to understand.

"I guess it's partly because of Ichigo," said Karin. Then, realizing what she had said, she added, "It's not that he's done anything, you know. It's just that it's tough following in his footsteps. Especially here."

Hitsugaya downed some sake and nodded, "I can understand that."

"I always wondered if I wanted to be a shinigami because of him, or whether I wanted it for myself. It took me a long time to be sure. Probably sounds a little strange," she said, thinking out loud.

"No," replied Toushirou, "it makes perfect sense." _"I remember thinking the same thing, after Momo left for the Academy," he thought._

Karin thought she saw a flash of sadness in Toushirou's eyes. Something she had seen before, although she couldn't remember when. And then, it was gone again, replaced by the familiar half-frown he wore almost like a mask.

For a few minutes, they said nothing. It was not an uncomfortable silence.

"Toushirou," said Karin, finally, "you once told me you had family in the Rukongai. Do you ever see them?"

Toushirou looked at her, surprised. Normally, he'd have thought such a question impertinent, inappropriate. But there was something in her manner, a warmth that made him feel, if only briefly, that he could share this with her.

"My grandmother died, years ago. My sister is…ill. It's been a long time since I've seen her."

Karin remembered Matsumoto's words, 'Toushirou won't go see Momo anymore...I guess it's because seeing her is too painful for him.'

"I'm sorry, Toushirou," said Karin, regretting having pressed him, "I shouldn't have intruded."

And then he felt it again, stirring - an ache, a memory buried deep. "You didn't intrude, Karin. I would not have answered if I did not wish to."

"There was a girl, in the Rukongai," he said, after a few more minutes of silence, "Hinamori Momo. She was a shinigami. She was like my big sister, growing up in that place."

"_Why am I telling her this?" he thought, as he watched himself, the words coming out unbidden._

"Aizen Sousuke destroyed her." _"And I could do nothing about it," he thought, miserably._

Karin couldn't think of what to say. Instead, she instinctively put her hand on his, which was resting on the table. Toushirou pulled his hand away and abruptly stood up.

"I'm sorry, Karin, I…" he said, stopping short and looking at her for a moment. Then he turned and walked out of the restaurant and into the cool night air.

"_Great job, Hitsugaya," he thought as he stood outside, leaning against the outside wall of the restaurant. "You handled that superbly."_

And with a deep breath, he was gone, headed back to the security of the Tenth Division and the walls he had created to protect himself.

***************************

Karin sat, alone now at the table, staring at her empty sake cup.

"_Great job, Kurosaki," she thought to herself, "Now you have two men who are afraid of you."_ She sighed audibly, then grabbed the half-empty bottle of sake from the table and refilled her cup.

"I see he left." Matsumoto sat down next to Karin, a bottle of sake in her hand.

"I seem to have that effect on men," said Karin, with resignation.

"Only because they're afraid of admitting they have feelings," laughed Matsumoto, putting her free arm around Karin, and taking a swig of the sake directly from the bottle. "Don't worry about it, Toushirou just gets like that sometimes. It's nothing personal, believe me."

Karin wasn't so sure. Walking back to the Tenth much later, having left Matsumoto working on yet another bottle of sake, Karin swore to herself that she'd try to stick to simple, impersonal topics in future dinner conversations. Period.

The moon hung low on the horizon as Karin entered the grounds of the Tenth Division and headed back to her quarters. _"So much for an uneventful first day," she thought, bitterly._ Her bed beckoned, a welcome relief to a day she would be happy to see end.

As she walked into the garden which led to her building, she saw a lone figure, silver-haired, sitting on a bench under one of the small trees that lined the garden. Toushirou. He had been waiting for her. As she walked by, he stood up.

"Care to join me?" he asked.

"Sure," Karin replied, unsure of herself.

He gestured for her to sit on an adjacent bench, and he sat back down again.

"I owe you an apology, Karin," he said, simply.

"For what?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

"For acting like a child," he replied.

"I shouldn't have…" she started to say, but he cut her off.

"You did nothing wrong, Karin. I chose to share my past with you. I didn't realize…it was…more painful than I expected it would be." It was difficult for him to admit this to her.

Silence. And then, "I also wanted to thank you, Karin."

"For what?" she asked, surprised.

"For making me realize what an ass I've been."

"I don't understand," she said, genuinely perplexed.

"After I left you at the restaurant, I took a walk," he said, his face unreadable. "I ended up somewhere I needed to be." Karin said nothing, still uncomprehending.

Toushirou smiled. Not a broad smile, by any means. A smile that reflected both serenity and pain. "I went to see Momo, Karin."

Karin felt her eyes fill with tears. Still, she found herself smiling at him.

Toushirou stood up and looked at her. "You are a woman of many gifts, Karin."

"Thank you, Toushirou," she said, standing up to face him. This time, he smiled warmly back at her.

"_You are also very beautiful, Karin," he thought as he looked into her eyes._

And then, much to Karin's surprise, he kissed her, deeply, passionately. After what felt like an eternity, he gently pulled away from her and headed back to his quarters. He knew if he didn't stop now, he never would.

As he left, Toushirou said with a grin, "Oh, and, by the way, it's Hitsugaya-taicho, Kurosaki."


	10. Sticks and Stones

Chapter Ten: Sticks and Stones

Five days later, Hitsugaya was pacing back and forth in Unohana's office at the Fourth Division. He was livid.

"_What the hell was she thinking," he thought to himself as he paced, "She could have been killed!"_ He wanted to shake Karin by the shoulders, make her understand how reckless she had been.

"_You know it's worse because you care about her," came the unwelcome thought. "If she were just some nameless recruit, you'd just be irritated."_

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, regain control. _"Control," he thought, "Why is it so hard to stay in control when it comes to her?"_

Hitsugaya reflected on the past two days as he paced. _"What was I thinking, sending her out on that reconnaissance mission? I should have known better."_

It should have been a routine mission. Hitsugaya had sent Jito's squad to investigate unusual hollow activity in the no-man's land which bordered the Rukongai. Jito had taken ten shinigami with him, including Karin, who, in Jito's opinion, was more than capable of dispatching hollows. Simple enough.

On the second day of the mission, Hitsugaya received word that the squad had encountered four hollows in the mountainous region outside the Rukongai. The hell butterfly Jito dispatched had noted nothing special about the hollows, and Hitsugaya assumed that the squad would return within the day with news that all four hollows had been destroyed. That had been three days ago.

There had been no contact with Jito's squad until about fifteen minutes before. That's when Matsumoto had run into Hitsugaya's office with the news that Karin had been injured taking on one of the hollows by herself. Karin, who had suffered the most serious injuries, had been treated at the scene of the battle and taken to the Fourth Division.

Hitsugaya had left for the Fourth immediately, without taking the time to speak with Jito. Matsumoto would debrief him, he knew. If there was something more to learn, Hitsugaya would hear about it in the morning.

After what seemed to Hitsugaya like hours of waiting, Unohana came to tell him that he could speak with Karin.

"She's just fine, Hitsugaya-taicho," said Unohana, smiling reassuringly. "She can go back to the Tenth tonight. She can resume her duties in a day or two."

Unohana led Hitsugaya to one of the treatment rooms and opened the door. Karin was sitting on a bed, bending her left arm back and forth. Each time she did so, she winced slightly. She did not hear him enter. Hitsugaya closed the door behind him, and Karin looked up.

"What the hell do you think you were doing out there, taking on a hollow by yourself?" demanded Hitsugaya, not even looking at Karin.

"Toushirou, what are you doing here?" asked Karin, clearly surprised. Her face was covered with deep scratches, her left shoulder was tightly bandaged, and her hakama pants were torn at the knee, revealing more bandages.

"You haven't answered my question, Kurosaki," said Hitsugaya, fighting to control himself, "What were you doing?"

Doing her best to keep her temper in check, Karin responded evenly, "I was following orders, Hitsugaya-taicho. We were to eliminate the hollows. We were surrounded."

Hitsugaya rounded on her, "There's no excuse for trying to take on a hollow all by yourself on your first mission. You were trying to prove to yourself that you could compete with your brother."

Karin felt her face grow hot. _"How dare he?" she thought, as her anger grew, "He's treating me like I'm a child."_

"And you're just pissed off because you're too uptight to admit you were worried." The words were out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying.

"Well discuss this later, Kurosaki," said Hitsugaya, his voice tight, controlled. "Report to my office, tomorrow morning, first thing."

"Yes, sir," she said, angrily. And, with that, she walked out of the room, leaving him standing there, wondering what had just happened.

*******************************

Hitsugaya ran into Matsumoto in the hallway outside his office in the Tenth Division.

"Thank heavens they're all fine," she said, trying to get a reading on him. "How's Karin?"

"Infuriating."

Matsumoto raised an eyebrow, "I take it she's just fine then."

Hitsugaya's response was somewhere between a growl and a grunt.

"Squad Leader Jito is waiting for you in your office," she said airily, "I figured you'd want to debrief him about the mission." Hitsugaya scowled and walked into his office.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," said Akio, bowing as Hitsugaya entered.

"Let me hear it, Akio," said Hitsugaya, sitting down at his desk. "What happened out there?"

"The hollows behaved very strangely," said Akio. "Normally, with as many shinigami as we had, I would not have expected problems. They were not, however, normal hollows."

"What do you mean?" asked Hitsugaya, forcing his lingering anger back where it had come from.

"They were Arrancar – they had zanpakutos, and they were very powerful," explained Jito. "But their zanpakutos were not like anything I've ever seen before. They were able to use their weapons to immobilize the squad without any visible release of energy or Kido. One minute, my men were poised for battle, and the next minute, they were totally disoriented, unable to move. As if they were hypnotized."

"Not you?" Hitsugaya was intrigued now.

"No. Whatever their power was," came the response, "it didn't affect me or Kurosaki."

"What happened then?"

"The hollows started to attack using more conventional means," said Jito. "I couldn't order a retreat, because none of my troops would respond to commands."

"And Karin decided to take on one of the hollows by herself, play hero?" said Hitsugaya, still seething.

"Actually, no sir. She saved my life," said Jito, simply. "The hollows weren't aiming at the men, sir, they were attacking only me. Kurosaki was able to destroy one of the hollows immediately, while I took on the other three."

"So you were able to destroy the remaining three, then?"

"I was able to destroy one of them," replied Jito.

"And the other two?" asked Hitsugaya.

"That's another strange thing, Hitsugaya-taicho. Karin fought the third hollow for quite some time, while I was busy with the other two. At one point in their fight, though, she stopped fighting, and so did the hollow. It's as if they were somehow…communicating. Not talking, but…" Jito looked at a loss for words. "It was almost like Kurosaki saw something in that hollow and the hollow saw something in her."

After a pause, Jito continued, "I managed to kill one of the two hollows I was fighting, but the second escaped. When I looked over to see if she was okay, I saw Kurosaki was standing in front of the fourth hollow, holding her zanpakuto."

"So she killed it?"

"Well…ah…not exactly," explained Jito, looking up at Hitsugaya with a look of bewilderment on his face. "Her zanpakuto's blade was not pointed at the hollow."

"I don't understand, Akio. What happened?" Hitsugaya was frustrated. He wanted answers. He needed them.

Jito looked at Hitsugaya and, with a slight hesitation, said, "She administered Konso to the hollow."

Hitsugaya was stunned.

"And, sir, there's one more thing you should now," said Jito, his voice low. "The hollow let her do it."


	11. Crossroads

Chapter Eleven: Crossroads

Hitsugaya watched Jito leave the office. _"The hollow allowed her to administer Konso? Willingly?" _Hitsugaya was still grappling with the concept of using Konso on a hollow. The idea that a hollow might willingly submit was so far beyond anything he had ever imagined, he was still in shock.

"_Karin saved Jito's life. And for that, I reward her by accusing her of playing hero, of trying to one-up her brother," he thought, bitterly. "That's the one thing she's tried so hard not to do."_ He had been a complete ass, and he knew it.

Matsumoto walked into the office, uninvited.

"Haven't I asked you to knock?" he growled.

"Yes," she said, laughing. "What's eating you, Toushirou?"

He said nothing.

"Hmmm, let me see…you yelled at her, didn't you?"

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You know exactly who I meant." Matsumoto crossed her arms over her chest, as best she could.

"I might have," he said, after a pause.

"So when are you going to apologize?"

Hitsugaya gave Matsumoto a look that said, 'You've gone about as far as I'm going to let you go. Drop it.' She took the hint. Whatever he did, she knew it would be on his own terms and in his own time.

"I assume Jito told you what happened," he said, changing the subject.

"He did. What do you make of it?" she asked, unwilling to offer an opinion before she heard his.

"The Arrancar are up to something. Whatever technique they used on the squad, it sounds a lot like Aizen's Kanzen Saimin. Perfect hypnosis."

Matsumoto raised her eyebrows. "You think there's a connection?"

"It seems an unlikely coincidence," he said, thoughtfully. "But why didn't it work on Jito and Kurosaki?"

"And why did the hollows aim their attack at Jito and not at Karin and the rest of the squad?" Matsumoto frowned. "It doesn't make sense."

"I want you to speak to the other squad members," said Hitsugaya, "see what you can learn from them. I'm going to hold off speaking to the Captain-Commander for now, until we learn more."

"And Karin?"

"She's my problem," he replied.

*******************************

Karin left the Fourth after her confrontation with Hitsugaya and headed directly back to her room. She needed time to think. Thoughts of Hitsugaya's unexpected reaction mingled with thoughts of the previous day's events left her feeling tired and overwhelmed. She had a terrible headache.

"_Why would it be wrong to administer Konso to a hollow if the hollow asked for it?" she thought, angrily. "It's not like I risked anyone's safety out there."_

The last time Karin had seen Hitsugaya before the confrontation at the Fourth was when he had kissed her. It had been a little like a revelation, that kiss. Unlike with Renji, Toushirou's kiss had lit a fire inside. But there been no opportunity to even speak with him, let alone try to figure out what the kiss had meant. The next day, Jito had come to her with news of the mission, and they had left immediately.

Given her lack of experience, Karin had been surprised that Jito had chosen her to accompany him on the mission to locate the hollows. "Kurosaki," he had said, "I am more than confident that you are ready for battle. If experience were everything, you would not have beaten me the other day. You must trust in your skill."

The squad had spent hours locating the hollows. And then, in seconds, they were surrounded. Karin had tried to call out to her comrades, but their eyes were vacant, unseeing. They couldn't, or wouldn't hear her. Then the hollows had attacked Jito, ignoring her completely.

Karin acted instinctively and destroyed one of the Arrancars almost immediately. She had been surprised at how easy it had been, given what she had heard about the strength of the Arrancars. She had immobilized the hollow using Kido, and then cleaved its mask in two with the blade of her zanpakuto.

Karin had watched the Arrancar dissolve into tiny bits of shimmering light and disappear. For a split second, she had thought she had seen something else in the shimmering light, but her attention had been diverted by the sounds of battle behind her. Jito was fighting the other three Arrancars, and he was losing.

Without considering the consequences, she had inserted herself between Jito and one of the largest of three Arrancars. As expected, the hollow had turned its attention to her. This time, it had proved much harder to use Kido. The hollow was much stronger. She had finally used Masumi to immobilize the hollow, and then a strange thing happened. Karin experienced the same shimmering effect that she had with some shinigami. Like with Renji and Toushirou, she felt slightly sick and dizzy.

_Pieces of memories. A man, laughing, raising his infant son high over his head. A woman, carrying a heavy load of vegetables in a basket on her back, trying hard not to trip over the uneven pavement. A child, watching his mother bake a birthday cake, eager anticipation in his eyes._

"Who are you?" Karin had asked the Arrancar. In its eyes, she could see faces reflected. Blurry faces of people. Human souls.

The hollow had struggled against Masumi's restraints in much the same way as Jito had struggled, days before. And then, the shimmering effect coalesced into a particularly clear human face. The face was nearly as solid to Karin as her own hands.

"Who are you?" repeated Karin, unable to take her eyes off the face, stunned.

A man. Middle-aged. Heavy-set. _"I am Kimura Hiro." _Karin could hear him, but there had been no audible sound from the hollow. _"Please, miss, help me. Help us. I am not alone here. There are others. We are lost."_

Karin could feel the man's pain, his fear. It cut her like a knife. She heard other voices. Children, men and women. Suddenly, the hollow stopped struggling against Masumi's bonds, and as it did so, the realization of what the spirit was asking for became clear to Karin.

"_Karin," whispered Masumi in Karin's heart, "now is the time to trust your instincts. This is your gift. You can set them free, give them peace."_

Karin understood. She pointed Masumi's hilt at the hollow and rose up into the air so that she stood directly in front of the hollow's face. She touched the hilt to the forehead of the creature.

"Now you will find your way home," she said. And, as she watched, the hollow dissolved into a silvery haze. For just a split second, she thought she could see the faces of the human souls, now peaceful.

*******************************

"_What I did was right," Karin thought, as she headed down the hallway to her quarters._ She knew it in her heart, in her soul. _"To hell with all of them, if they don't understand."_

As she opened the door to her room, she saw a red-haired shinigami, seated on the windowsill and looking at her with some concern.

"Renji," she said, startled, "what is it with you and open windows?"

"Just like an open door, Kurosaki," he said with a slight grin. "Rumor has it you had a bit of an adventure outside the Rukongai."

"You heard?"

"Most of it," he answered. "Is it true?"

"What part of it? That I killed a hollow? 'Cleansed' it as you say in the Soul Society? That I performed Konso on another? Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?" she answered, defensively.

"Whoa, girl," he said, now laughing softly. "I'm not judging you, Karin. I was just worried about you. Besides, I wanted to give you a heads up that a certain orange-haired captain probably knows about what happened, too."

"Great." Ichigo was the last person Karin wanted to deal with at this moment. "Look," said Karin after a beat, "I'm not angry with you, Renji. It's just that I did something I know was right, nobody was hurt because of it, and now everybody is treating me like I'm some sort of freak."

"Everybody?" Renji looked at her, knowingly. "Or a particular somebody?"

"You know way more than you should, Renji," said Karin, reprovingly, "Do you just hang out here at the Tenth spying on me?"

He laughed. "Not exactly. But I like to keep an eye on attractive, eligible women. I also like to keep an eye on my competition."

Karin blushed, in spite of herself. Renji was charming, and she was glad that she hadn't frightened him away permanently. Still, her feelings for him remained conflicted.

"If it helps, Karin," said Renji after an awkward moment's silence, "it sounds like you handled the situation perfectly. You protected your squad, and you were willing to cleanse the hollow. Who am I to say that, under the right circumstances, Konso of a hollow is wrong?"

For the first time in days, Karin smiled. She stood up and walked over to the window and threw her arms around Renji, hugging him. "Thanks. That means a lot to me, Renji. I'm really lucky to have you as a friend. I mean it."

*********************************

Hitsugaya was headed to Karin's quarters. He had made up his mind - he would apologize for yelling at her. She deserved that. Still, he was loathe to admit he was wrong. It had still been insane for her to administer Konso to a hollow.

"_You can fight hollows, run your division," he thought, as he walked into the building, "but one woman can make you act like a complete fool. Why is that?"_

He knew the answer. He was falling for her. And falling for someone meant giving up more than a modicum of control over his destiny, his fate. It made him extremely uncomfortable, that vulnerability.

He felt it stir again. The memory, buried deep in his soul. It called out to him of hurt, loss and loneliness. _"Damn," he thought, "what is it about her?"_

Despite the memory, or perhaps because of it, Hitsugaya resolved to face whatever the future held for him. It was worth the risk if she might be part of it. He reached her room and saw that the door was open.

What he saw made his stomach tighten. There was Karin, in Renji's arms, her head buried in his chest.

Hitsugaya turned around and left, unnoticed by either Renji or Karin.

"_You fool," he thought bitterly as he walked away, back to the safety of his office, "What did you expect?" _


	12. Casualties

Chapter Twelve: Casualties

Karin reported to Hitsugaya's office as ordered, first thing the next morning. More than ever, she was convinced that she had done the right thing in administering Konso to the hollow. Still, she was not looking forward to the inevitable confrontation with Hitsugaya.

"Kurosaki," said Hitsugaya, as she entered the office, "thank you for coming." His manner was as cool and controlled as ever. No trace of anger was visible in his expression.

"_She looks terrible," he thought._ He thought he had detected a slight limp when she had walked in. The scratches on her face had begun to heal, but were still clearly visible.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," she said, bowing formally. _"Two can play at this game," she thought to herself with satisfaction._

"I've spoken with Jito about your part in the mission. I can only conclude that I made a mistake in assuming you acted imprudently in engaging the hollow," he said. His face was devoid of emotion.

"_Some apology," thought Karin, her anger beginning to grow._

"Thank you, sir," she calmly. She looked directly into his face as she said it, an unspoken challenge to his authority.

"I do not approve, however, of your use of Konso on a hollow." The concept made him uncomfortable.

"And why not, sir?" she asked. She was finding it harder and harder to maintain her exterior calm.

"There is no need to risk your safety or the safety of anyone else when the blade of your zanpakuto can do the job effectively," he said, stiffly. He realized how feeble that reasoning was. _"She didn't risk anyone's safety," he thought, "And she saved Akio's life."_

"With all due respect, sir," she said, her voice rising, "nobody's safety was ever at risk."

"Shinigami do not use Konso to cleanse hollows," said Hitsugaya. He had not meant to say it. _"Why does she make me so angry?" he wondered with frustration, fighting the urge to raise his voice to her. _

"Shinigami know nothing about hollows," said Karin, her jaw tight. "If you were given the choice, would you choose being cut with the blade of a zanpakuto, or would you choose Konso?"

He was about to acknowledge that she had a point, when an image of her in the arms of a certain red-haired shinigami flashed through his mind. A painful memory stirred deep inside him, and, as he fought to put it back in its place, the momentary understanding of what she had said was replaced by something cold.

"What I would choose is irrelevant here, Kurosaki," he replied. His tone was icy.

"_Callous bastard," thought Karin, stifling an urge to kick some sense into him._

"Our duty as shinigami is to protect souls, to help them find peace," she said, clenching her fists at her side, "I saw souls inside that hollow. They were human. They were in pain."

Karin looked at him, willing him to understand. "I saw them, Toushirou, the souls," she said, forcing herself to fight back tears. "They spoke to me. They asked me to help them find their way. That is my duty as a shinigami, to help them."

Again, he found himself fighting the urge to agree with her, to acknowledge that her point of view made sense. "Your duty as a shinigami, Kurosaki, was to cleanse the hollow."

For a moment, Karin saw anger flash through his eyes. And something else. Fear? She could see it there. Sense it. Throwing all caution to the wind, she asked, "What are you afraid of, Toushirou? Why are you afraid to admit that we are not so different from them?"

"That's enough, Kurosaki," Hitsugaya said, his tight control eroding. The memory threatened to surface. He needed to end this conversation soon.

"You are afraid, aren't you?" she demanded, the heat rising in her cheeks. "You shinigami think you're superior, that you're better than the hollows. To admit that you are like the them is like admitting that you are…well…human. That's it, isn't it?"

He said nothing, his face stony again - the fortress of control rebuilt. They stood there in silence, during which time she watched him, her eyes narrowed.

"_It is not weakness to want to protect those who are more vulnerable,"_ _she thought to herself. "I will not compromise what I know is right just because the Soul Society has always done it differently."_

"Captain Unohana said that you should be ready to return to duty in a day or two. Until then, Kurosaki, get some rest. You will report to Jito on Monday morning," he said, his tone clipped. "Dismissed."

After she had left, Hitsugaya sat down at his desk and picked up a pile of papers to read. Her words had cut him. _"Is she right?" he wondered, as he stared blankly at the papers. "Are we afraid to admit we are no better than them, that we're just…lucky?"_

************************************

Karin walked back to her room, taking care to avoid any of the other shinigami she passed on her way. She wasn't sure if she wanted to scream or cry. She only knew that she was exhausted, that her body still ached from her wounds, and that she was tired of thinking.

As she rounded the last building on her way back to her quarters, she saw someone sitting in the garden. A flock of orange hair. Ichigo. Waiting for her.

"_Great," she thought, "just what I need. Another lecture."_

"Karin," he called to her as he saw her approach, "we need to talk."

"I don't want to hear it, Ichigo," she said, now standing in front of him. "I've already heard it, and I don't want to hear it again."

"What's up with you?" he asked, taken aback.

"Look, Ichigo, I really don't want to talk about it now. Just leave me alone," she said. Then, feeling slightly guilty for having pounced on him, she added, "Please."

"I really think we need to talk, Karin," he repeated.

"No, Ichigo, we don't need to talk." She glared at him. "I am not a child, I don't need another father, and I don't need someone else telling me what's right and what's wrong."

And, with that, she turned on her heel and headed off, away from her quarters and out the front gate of the Tenth Division, into the Seireitei streets, glancing over her shoulder from time to time to make sure Ichigo had not followed her.

*****************************

Three hours later, Karin found herself wandering the backstreets of the Rukongai, near the river. The walk had done her good. She still felt angry and hurt, but she could at least think clearly.

"_He's exasperating," she thought, reliving the conversation with Hitsugaya. "He didn't listen at all. He didn't want to hear what I was saying – it made him too uncomfortable."_

The entire confrontation had been made much worse by the fact that Karin had feelings for him. She knew that. She also knew he was carrying the weight of feelings and memories that he had not been able to reconcile, that he avoided almost like a religion. _"How can we ever hope to have a relationship when he won't even face the feelings he has now?" she wondered._

The sky was bright, and sunlight glanced off the water, giving the river the look of a thousand moving mirrors. Karin sat on an old wooden crate and watched the water for what seemed like hours. It was quiet. Sitting here, she was reminded of a spot in Karakura Town where she had often found Ichigo. The riverbank where her mother had died.

Karin leaned back on the crate gingerly, her body still sore and bruised from her encounter with the hollows. She closed her eyes and focused on letting go of some of the anger that still burned in her. It was not an easy task.

"_You do not truly believe the Soul Society is ready to accept performing Konso on hollows," said Masumi, reprovingly. " You must be realistic, Karin."_

She knew he was right. _"No," she replied silently, "I guess I really didn't believe they would understand."_

"_You need to give them time, Karin," he said, his voice calm, reassuring. "Although, even with time, there will still be those who will not understand. You must be prepared for that."_

"_Yes," she said, sadly._

"_I know what you are thinking," he sighed, "but running back to the Real World will solve nothing. You belong here. You know this."_

"_How did you know I was thinking of going back?" she asked, slightly surprised._

"_You still do not understand, Karin. I am part of you now. I know what you think, I know what you feel. Always. You cannot run from me, even if you can run from the Soul Society."_

"_Am I that obvious?" she thought, a hint of a smile on her lips._

"_Not to the external world," came the answer, "but I live in your internal world."_

"_Right."_

"_You are afraid, Karin," said Masumi patiently. "Afraid of him and afraid of yourself."_

"_Afraid of him?" she wondered. "What do you mean?"_

"_You have two great fears, Karin. That you will not be true to yourself and that you will not be accepted. You fear that he will not care about you if he knows who you are."_

Karin did not reply, but lay there on the crate, thinking about what Masumi had said. After a long while, she fell asleep with the warmth of the sun on her face.

********************************

Karin woke with a start, sitting up abruptly. Her sore body screamed in response. She sensed something. A presence. No, several reiatsus. Hollows.

"She's awake," said a deep voice from directly behind her. Karin put her hand on the hilt of her zanpakuto, and hopped off the crate. "I wouldn't try that," said another voice. She was surrounded.

In all, Karin counted seven hollows. Arrancar. All carrying zanpakutos. They each stood within ten feet of her, and there was nowhere for her to move. She looked up, hopefully, but several of the larger Arrancar had blocked that escape route as well, towering well above her, zanpakutos drawn.

"What do you want?" she demanded, still trying to find a way through them to escape.

"You are Kurosaki Karin," said the Arrancar who had spoken first. He appeared to be the leader of the group.

"Why do you care?" she responded, shocked that they knew her name.

"We have been ordered to bring you back with us," said the Arrancar.

Karin's heart beat faster. _"Back where?" she wondered, "And what do they want with me, of all people?" _

"_Karin." _Masumi. In her surprise, she had forgotten about him. Karin drew her zanpakuto.

"_Sensei," she thought urgently, "I need some guidance here."_

"_Even with your full strength, Karin, you cannot defeat them all. Injured, you have little hope of escape."_

"_I'm sure as hell not going to just let them take me wherever they want to take me," she replied. "That can't be a good thing."_

"_If they had wanted you dead, they probably would not have sent so many Arrancar," said Masumi. "They will probably not attack you with full force, at least to begin with. Your best option is to try to take out the three weaker Arrancar on your left, and try to maneuver your way outside the group to better position yourself against the stronger ones."_

Karin backed up towards the leader of the group, praying Masumi was right that he would not attack her immediately. "Soar, Masumi!" she yelled, and a burst of orange-red fire erupted from the tip of the blade, hitting one of the smaller Arrancars squarely in the chest. It fell, and its two companions shrieked with anger. The larger of these aimed a cero at Karin, who, with the limited space available to her, was barely able to move out of the way without throwing herself in front of yet another, larger Arrancar.

"Don't kill her!" shouted the leader of the Arrancars to the others. "We are to bring her back alive."

This was exactly what Karin had hoped to hear. Taking full advantage, Karin spun around and shouted, "Hado thirty-three, Soukatsui!" A large burst of red energy flew at the Arrancars, knocking several of them back and creating an opening for Karin to position herself to fight using Masumi.

"Masumi, now!" she yelled, and aimed her zanpakuto at one of her larger opponents.

"I wouldn't do that," said the leader of the Arrancars. Karin turned in the direction of his voice and stopped dead in her tracks. The Arrancar had his zanpakuto pointed at a group of children who had, apparently, heard the commotion and come to see what was happening. "We want you alive, Kurosaki Karin, but we care nothing for their lives."

"No!" she yelled. "Don't hurt them!" Karin looked around desperately for an opening, for some way to get in between the Arrancar and the children. "Get out of here!" she shouted to them. The children did not move.

"You have to get out of here!" yelled Karin again.

"They can't leave," said the Arrancar, smiling.

It was then that Karin saw the faces of the children. Their eyes were blank, unseeing. Just like the members of her own squad, just a few days before. Hypnotized.

"Give me your zanpakuto, Kurosaki Karin," said the Arrancar, still smiling, "and I will not kill them."

Karin knew then she had lost. She would not risk the lives of innocent souls to protect her own. _"I'm sorry, Masumi," she thought as she sheathed her weapon and held it out to the Arrancar. "Please forgive me."_

Karin felt a hard blow to the back of her head, and everything went dark.


	13. Doubts

Chapter Thirteen: Doubts

Two days later, Ichigo walked into Hitsugaya's office unannounced. "Where is she, Toushirou?"

The silver-haired shinigami looked up from a stack of paperwork, irritated. "Kurosaki," he said witheringly, "I see your manners still haven't improved."

"Cut the crap, Toushirou. You must feel it, too. She's not in the Soul Society."

"I assumed she went back to the Real World," replied Hitsugaya, his voice calm.

"She's not there. I've checked." Ichigo could feel his temper rising. "What the hell did you say to her?"

"I expressed my concern, as her commanding officer…"

"I'm not blind, Toushirou," said Ichigo, interrupting. "There's something going on between you two."

"There is nothing between us. Karin is simply a member of my division and, as her commander, I am responsible for her actions." It sounded good, but Ichigo knew from experience that it wasn't the entire truth.

"What did you say to her, Toushirou? She was nearly in tears when I saw her coming from your office." _"And I didn't stop her," thought Ichigo. "I could have explained..." _He felt guilty, although he would have never admitted it to Hitsugaya.

"I only told her the truth," said Hitsugaya, his voice cold. "The Soul Society is not prepared to accept using Konso on hollows."

"No wonder she left," said Ichigo, scowling. Part of him was half-tempted to throttle Hitsugaya for having treated Karin badly, but at that moment, Matsumoto arrived and he thought better of it.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," she said, and then, noticing Ichigo, "Kurosaki-taicho."

"Yes, Matsumoto?" asked Hitsugaya, standing up.

"The Captain-Commander has asked to see you immediately," said Matsumoto. "It's about Karin. The First Division has received a report that she was seen leaving the Soul Society with a group of Arrancars."

For a split second, Hitsugaya felt a wave of fear wash over him. _"They've taken her to Hueco Mundo."_ He knew it, instinctively. That explained everything.

"Thank you, Matsumoto," he said aloud, regaining his composure and grabbing his zanpakuto off the desk. "We'll finish this conversation later, Kurosaki."

"I'm going with you," said Ichigo. "She's my sister, my responsibility." Hitsugaya knew better than to argue.

*******************************

An hour later, Hitsugaya and Ichigo stood, stone-faced, in Captain-Commander Yamamoto's office. Neither man had said a word since they had left the Tenth Division, each too wrapped in his own guilt to think of much else.

After a few minutes, Yamamoto entered, his face unfathomable as always. "Hitsugaya-taicho," he said.

"Captain-Commander, sir," said Hitsugaya, nodding.

"Kurosaki-taicho, I don't believe I sent for you." Yamamoto did not seem surprised to see Ichigo.

"If this concerns my sister," said Ichigo in a low voice, "I need to be here."

"Very well." Yamamoto raised an eyebrow and sat down at his desk. "Kurosaki Karin was seen leaving the Rukongai with a group of Arrancar, two days ago," he said.

"Are you implying she left with them willingly?" Ichigo bristled at the thought. _"Karin would never betray the Soul Society."_ He was sure of that.

"Kurosaki-taicho, a number of children from the Rukongai witnessed your sister speak with the Arrancars and leave with them. She put up no fight," said Yamamoto.

"Sir," said Hitsugaya, "you know of this new weapon my troops encountered just a few days ago. It is possible that Karin and the children were under the influence of the Arrancars."

"I am aware of your report," replied Yamamoto. "However, that report also contains evidence that Kurosaki Karin communicated with another Arrancar and performed Konso on it."

"Since when has performing Konso become a crime in the Soul Society?" demanded Ichigo, livid.

"Can either of you explain her actions?" asked Yamamoto, frowning slightly.

Neither Ichigo nor Hitsugaya responded.

"As I thought," said Yamamoto, his face now hard.

"With all due respect, Captain-Commander, Karin saved the lives of the other shinigami in her squad at great risk to herself," said Hitsugaya. _"Karin was right," he though with regret, "the Soul Society fears what it does not understand_."

"You've written her off," said Ichigo, shaking his head in frustration. "You're not even giving her the benefit of the doubt."

"I have heard enough," said Yamamoto, his voice powerful, his face impassive. "Kurosaki Karin will be treated as a threat to the Soul Society until proven otherwise. You are both dismissed."

*****************************

As they walked out of the First Division, Ichigo turned to Hitsugaya and said, "You know she's no traitor, Toushirou."

Hitsugaya said nothing.

"Dammit, Toushirou," growled Ichigo, his temper boiling over, "you know I'm right!"

"We don't know anything, Kurosaki," Hitsugaya replied evenly.

"Karin would never betray the Soul Society."

"What are you going to do?" asked Hitsugaya. He was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"I'm going to find her," said Ichigo, simply.

*****************************

Back at the Tenth a few minutes later, Hitsugaya stood alone in his office, looking out the window. Karin had stood here, only a short time ago, looking out the same window. _"He's right," thought Hitsugaya as he watched the trees move in the wind, "she wouldn't have left willingly."_

He closed his eyes briefly, and the flicker of a memory stirred deep within him yet again. He was too distracted to fight it this time, and it came to him, an unwanted visitor. The memory of his life before the Soul Society.

_A train station. Crowded with people. He couldn't see their faces, only their feet, their legs, and the bags that they dragged across the platform._

"_Mommy?" he called out. "Mommy, where are you?!"_

_He couldn't see her face. He was lost, frightened. He had to find her. He had been holding her hand, but in all the commotion, his hand had slipped out of hers._

"_Please, I need to find my mommy," he called out to the people around him. In the noisy din of the station, his voice was lost. Nobody noticed the small boy with tears running down his cheeks. Afraid. Alone._

Toushirou opened his eyes. _"Why now?" he thought. "I've buried that memory since the day I arrived in the Soul Society."_

He took a deep breath and struggled to regain control. "I don't have time for this," he said, forcing the memory back to its proper place.

*****************************

There was a knock on Ichigo's office door. "Come," said Ichigo, not turning around. He was packing a small bag with items off one of the shelves in the corner.

"I know she didn't leave the Soul Society willingly," said Hitsugaya.

"Took you long enough," said Ichigo, turning around.

"You're going to need some help in Hueco Mundo," said Hitsugaya.

"Eh. I'll be just fine. Besides, why do you care what happens to Karin, anyhow," said Ichigo, scowling. "She's just a low level shinigami in your division."

"She is still my responsibility," said Hitsugaya, stiffly.

"You care about her." Ichigo was not going to let Hitsugaya off that easily.

"Yes."

"You've fallen for her, haven't you?" Ichigo asked, scrutinizing Hitsugaya's face.

Hitsugaya was silent. His jaw was clenched so tightly, the muscles in his face twitched.

"Thought so," said Ichigo, with a slight smirk.


	14. Caged Bird

Chapter Fourteen: Caged Bird

Karin opened her eyes slowly, blinking to try to clear the blurriness. Her head was pounding and her ears were ringing. She had been dreaming. No, more of a nightmare than a dream.

_A thousand voices, screaming at her, begging her to hear them, to notice them. She couldn't shut them out. The voices grew louder and louder, and she thought she would lose her mind. _

_She tried covering her ears, but the voices were in her mind, they beat a path into her soul. Just when she thought she could take no more, the world went dark, and there was silence._

For a moment, she thought she was in her bed at the Tenth Division, but as the room came into focus, she realized she did not recognize the place. Karin sat up. Other than the pain in her head and the back of her skull, most of the discomfort of her injuries was gone, leaving just a trace of stiffness in her muscles. _"I must have been out for days," she thought, "to have recovered this much."_

Then she remembered. _"Masumi?!"_ _she called, urgently. _There was no response. She remembered handing her zanpakuto to the Arrancars. _"It wasn't a dream, then," she thought miserably, "he's gone." _She felt incredibly alone.

She looked around the room. In the dim light, she could make out a small table, a chair, and a high window covered with bars. The sky outside was black, except for a crescent-shaped moon. Karin knew she was no longer in the Soul Society, she could feel it. This place had none of the earthiness of the Real World, either. _"I'm in Hueco Mundo," she thought._

And then it came to her. _"I don't feel anyone's presence at all," she thought, "no reiatsus." _Panicked, she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the spiritual energy around her. For a few minutes, she felt nothing, and then, like a soft buzzing, she began to hear voices. Reiatsus. Souls. The buzzing got louder and her headache grew worse. She rubbed her temples and opened her eyes. She had never experienced anything like this before.

"_It wasn't a dream," she thought, with some trepidation. "The voices are real. I can hear them."_

Karin tried to force the voices out of her mind, to quiet them, but to no avail. The sound was now thunderous, and, just as Karin thought she might die from the noise and the pain in her head, she passed out. Blissful oblivion. Silence.

***********************

Karin awoke. She had no idea how much time had passed since she had lost consciousness. She could barely see, but she could hear voices. The pain was excruciating.

"She will die if she's left like this, " said a woman's voice, calm and with authority.

"What do you suggest?" A second voice, deeper, familiar. She recognized the voice. The leader of the Arrancars who had captured her in the Rukongai.

"You must give her back her weapon. It appears to help her to control her empathic abilities so they do not overwhelm her," replied the woman.

"_Masumi did that?" thought Karin through the pain._ There was so much about him that she didn't understand.

"Impossible," said the male Arrancar, "Xiomara will not permit it."

"Then she will die," said the woman, emphatically. "If you cannot return her zanpakuto, you must at least allow her limited access to it so that she can recover. She is no use to us if she is dead."

The pain in her head was piercing, and, in spite of her desire to hear more of the conversation, Karin found herself succumbing to the peaceful blackness of unconsciousness again.

***********************

"_Karin!"_

"_Masumi?!"_

She sat up in bed, startled. Had she heard him?

"_Karin."_

"_Thank God, Masumi," she thought. "I thought I had lost you forever."_ She knew she wasn't dreaming. _"Has it really been you, all these years, keeping me sane?"_

"_Since I found you when you were a child, Karin," came the response._

"_Found me?"_

"_Zanpakutos exist to find shinigami, Karin," explained Masumi. "When a shinigami's spiritual powers develop, the shinigami calls out for a zanpakuto."_

"_The dreams that used to torture me when I was a kid - you were the reason they stopped?"_

"_Yes. I heard you call out, and I have been with you ever since."_

"_Thank you, Masumi. I had no idea," she said. "Where are you?"_

"_Nearby," he answered. "They are afraid you will be able to use me to escape. I am locked up so that you sense my presence, but you are unable call me back as a weapon."_

Karin could hear voices outside her door and a key turning in the lock. The door opened to reveal a woman about Karin's height, Vasto Lorde, given her human appearance, and, judging by the way she held herself, most likely an Espada. She had long black hair, wore a long white dress with a high collar and, around her waist, a zanpakuto. She was accompanied by a second Vasto Lorde, a man, also dressed in white.

"Good. You're awake," said the woman. Karin recognized her voice from before - the woman who had insisted that Karin be permitted contact with Masumi. "I am Curadora Deluna. I am the healer here in Las Noches. This is my Fraccion, Amancio Araceli."

"Why have I been brought here?" demanded Karin.

Curadora looked thoughtfully at Karin. "It is not my place to say," she said, coolly. "I am sure Xiomara will explain in time." She gestured to an Arrancar outside Karin's room who shuffled in, carrying a tray of food.

"I'm not hungry," said Karin, defiantly.

"I cannot let you die, shinigami," said Curadora. "You have not eaten now for nearly a week. If you do not eat, I will remove your zanpakuto again and you will suffer the consequences."

"_Now is not the time to fight back, Karin," said Masumi. "You must regain your strength before you can hope to escape without being killed."_

Karin knew he was right. She felt tired, weak. She would have no chance against the Arrancar in her current state. She grudgingly walked over to the table and took a piece of food off the tray.

"Good," said Curadora. "I'm glad we understand each other. Amancio will return tomorrow to check on your condition."

"Who is Xiomara?" asked Karin, as Curadora and Amancio turned to leave.

Curadora raised an eyebrow. "You will meet her soon enough," she said, simply. "You can ask her yourself." And with that, she strode out of the room, followed by the others. Karin heard the turn of a key in the door and the echo of footsteps on the stone floor.

Much later that night, after Karin had finished all of the food on the tray, she lay in bed, fighting the urge to sleep.

"_Karin," said Masumi, his voice low, insistent, "you must rest. I cannot help you in this condition."_

"_How can you help me escape if I can't reach you?" she asked in frustration._

"_There is much I can teach you, Karin, even if you cannot hold me in your hands," replied Masumi. "We will discuss it in the morning."_

*************************

Morning in Hueco Mundo was in stark contrast to night. The sky was unnaturally bright and the clouds were spaced evenly, as though an artist had taken a paintbrush and added them at regularly spaced intervals. For the first time since she had been forced to leave the Soul Society, Karin had slept well. Food and a quiet mind had done wonders for her.

"_Masumi-sensei," she thought, as she awoke, "you told me last night that you could teach me things, even if I couldn't physically hold you. What did you mean?" _

"_I can teach you to find your true source of strength, Karin," he replied._

"_My true source of strength?"_

"_You are far stronger than you realize," said Masumi. _

"_But how do I find that strength if I can't hold you, train with you? Ichigo once told me of how he fought Zangetsu to grow stronger," said Karin, confused. "How can I do that?"_

"_There are ways to increase your spiritual strength that do not require the physical manifestation of your zanpakuto. Your true gifts, Karin, lie within."_

"_I'm not sure I understand, Sensei," said Karin, slightly frustrated with herself._

"_Your greatest gift is your empathy. Your mastery of Kido and your external reiatsu pale in comparison to your ability to feel and understand others." Masumi paused for a moment, and then said, "You can also use this ability to understand __yourself__. Only with that understanding will you truly become powerful."_

_Karin thought about this for a few minutes, and then said, "So, unlike Ichigo, my growth as a shinigami comes from within?"_

"_How did you learn to use Shikai?" asked Masumi. _

"_I heard your voice," she replied, thoughtfully. "You told me what to do."_

"_You did hear me," said Masumi. "I have been speaking to you since you called me, years ago, although you were not listening."_

"_So what you're saying is that my battle is an internal one," said Karin, beginning to understand._

"_In a sense, yes," answered Masumi. "For you, Karin, the battle is with the control you try to assert over your gifts. When you surrender to them, you will grow stronger."_

Karin sat, for a moment, trying to understand.

"_For now, Karin, you must promise that you will not try to escape until you have become stronger. We will begin your training soon. You must be patient."_

"_I promise," she said, although she regretted it almost immediately._

Karin sat on the bed for some time, considering what she had learned from Masumi. _"How do I surrender to my gifts without drowning?" she wondered._ She remembered the black peacefulness she had retreated into when the voices had grown too loud to bear. She also remembered surrendering to the memory she had seen in Hitsugaya's eyes, and how she had overcome the physical discomfort it had caused her. _"Is that the difference between succumbing and surrendering?" _Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a key turning in the lock of her door.

Karin stood up, determined not to show her captors any weakness. The large Arrancar who had led the group to bring her back from the Rukongai entered the room. "Kurosaki Karin, Xiomara wants to see you. You will come with me."

In keeping with her promise to Masumi, Karin went willingly with the Arrancar. He led her to a very large room with an immensely high ceiling located in the center of the building in which she was being kept. The room was circular, with high windows all around. Light flooded in through the windows, forming regular patterns on the floor.

In the middle of the room was a seat. It looked almost throne-like, raised up on a platform, high-backed, and made of what appeared to be white marble. Seated on the chair was a tall woman with long, flaming red hair and deep green eyes. She wore a white dress, cut quite low in the front, revealing a deep cleavage and a perfectly round hole above her left breast.

Several Arrancars and Vasto Lordes stood to either side of the woman. _"She must be very strong, or the others would not be so attentive," thought Karin as they approached the group. _

The Arrancar who had escorted Karin bowed deeply. "Kurosaki Karin, this is Xiomara Esteberra, the Sovereign of Hueco Mundo," he said.


	15. Choices

Chapter Fifteen: Choices

"Kurosaki-chan, we have been waiting for you," said Xiomara. She looked at Karin as though she were a prized object, won at an auction at great cost. "You are the sister of Kurosaki Ichigo, are you not?"

"I am," said Karin, and, for the first time in a long time, she felt proud of it.

"Your brother killed Lord Aizen," said Xiomara, matter-of-factly. "However, we will not hold that against you, Kurosaki-chan. It is because of your brother that the Arrancar are free to control their own destinies."

Karin had not expected this. She knew that Aizen Sousuke had created most of the Vasto Lordes, and she assumed they would have revered him like a god.

Xiomara, perhaps sensing surprise in Karin, added, "Do not misunderstand, Kurosaki-chan. We are grateful to Lord Aizen that he created us and made us stronger with the Hogyoku."

"Why have you brought me here?" demanded Karin.

"You are angry, aren't you, Kurosaki-chan? You have a right to be, of course. We brought you here without your consent. However, there was little other way we could ask for your help," explained Xiomara. "The Soul Society would never have permitted you to come here. They could never understand."

"Understand what?" asked Karin, her anger abating somewhat.

"We need your help, Kurosaki-chan," replied Xiomara, studying Karin's reaction with interest. "We were told that you are a friend to hollows."

"_Am I really a 'friend' to hollows?" she wondered, silently. "I suppose that's what most of the Soul Society must think by now."_

"Help you? How can I help you?" asked Karin cautiously.

Xiomara laughed softly, "Kurosaki-chan. She who would administer Konso to hollows. You do not understand your gifts, do you?"

Karin said nothing.

"My dear child," said Xiomara, "we seek the peace you can offer us."

"I don't understand."

"We Arrancar are, like normal hollows, composed of multiple souls, each with its own distinct memories and feelings," she explained, smiling warmly. "The more powerful the hollow, the more souls the hollow contains. By the time a hollow reaches the level of Arrancar or Vasto Lorde, the number of souls we contain is innumerable.

"As you might imagine, the inner turmoil this creates within us can be overwhelming. Over time, we have evolved so that one soul, above all others, remains in control at all times. It is that soul through which I speak to you now."

The idea of multiple souls inhabiting one being reminded Karin of the countless souls she had heard when she had been separated from Masumi. It was not a pleasant thought. _"How could anyone, any __being__, live like that?" she wondered._

"I still don't understand how I can help you," said Karin. "Are you asking me to administer Konso to the Arrancar here?" The idea was ludicrous. "If you know about my ability to administer Konso to hollows, you must know that I cannot selectively remove souls from the hollow."

Xiomara laughed. "Of course, we do not want you to send us to the Soul Society. We believe that we can help you to focus your power so that you can, indeed, 'selectively remove souls,' as you put it. By doing so, you would grant us a measure of peace we could not otherwise have hoped for. You would also be fulfilling your duty as a shinigami to send wayward souls on to their rest."

Karin did not know what to say.

"Kurosaki-chan," said Xiomara, kindly, "we understand that this is all a great deal for you to think about. For now, please think of yourself as our guest. Take time to think about what we are asking."

"If I am really your guest," said Karin, "am I free to leave?"

"That would be impossible, Kurosaki-chan," replied Xiomara. "If we were to let you leave, you would most likely be viewed as a traitor and a threat to the Soul Society. You would be executed or imprisoned. You would be of no help to us under those circumstances."

Xiomara gestured to the Arrancar who had escorted Karin from her room. "Tancredo, please escort Kurosaki Karin back to her room. Make sure she is comfortable." Then, turning to Karin, she said, "Kurosaki-chan, I hope you will forgive us for causing you any distress. I ask you not to begrudge us having brought you here, and to consider our request in the true spirit of friendship."

***************************

Later, in her room, Karin considered what the Arrancar Sovereign had said. She was sure the hollows had some ulterior motive for asking her 'help' in relieving them of their unwanted souls. She did not trust Xiomara, although she could not explain why.

"_I suppose it's natural to distrust them," thought Karin. "There has been such hatred between the shinigami and the hollows."_ The irony of this last thought was not lost on Karin - this was the same inflexible attitude she had railed against in Hitsugaya.

"_Distrust or not," she thought, "what Xiomara said is plausible."_ Karin had known that, the more powerful the hollow, the more souls the hollow had consumed. Arrancar and Vasto Lordes might potentially have thousands of souls contained within. It was also plausible that bringing her here, without her consent, was the only means available to the Arrancar to seek her help.

Still, it pained Karin to admit that Xiomara's assessment of the Soul Society's reaction was probably correct. Given her prior actions Karin was sure that, at a minimum, she would be treated as a risk. Would anyone believe the truth?

"_Ichigo and Renji might believe me," she thought._ She knew their faith in her would not be rewarded. _"I can't risk their safety for mine."_

"_Masumi?" She needed his advice. "What should I do?"_

"_This must be your decision, Karin, your choice."_ His response did not surprise her.

***************************

Morning came quickly, although sleep had not. Karin sat up in bed, staring out the high window at the perfect sky. There was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she said, slightly surprised. The Arrancar certainly appeared to be treating her more like a guest.

A tall, dark haired Vasto Lorde entered the room, carrying a tray of food. It was the Arrancar who Curadora had identified as her Fraccion.

"Kurosaki Karin," he said, formally, "I have been asked to check on you. Are you well?" He set the tray down on the table.

"I'm fine," she replied. _"As fine as I can be given that I'm locked up here and my friends and family probably think I've betrayed the Soul Society."_ The thought was an unwelcome one.

"You're Amancio Araceli, right?"

He nodded. "I am also a healer," he said, after a slight hesitation. "I assist Curadora."

"I notice you don't wear a zanpakuto," said Karin.

"I choose not to," he replied. Karin hoped he would elaborate, but when he did not, she thought it prudent to drop the subject, at least for the time being.

"I am sorry," he said, "that we must keep you under lock and key. Xiomara has only your best interests in mind."

"_He seems sincere," thought Karin. _She looked into his eyes, hoping to feel what was inside of him, but could sense nothing. _"What good are my 'gifts'," she thought with frustration, "if I can't make use of them when I need them."_

Karin got up off the bed and walked over to the table. _"I need to find out as much as I can from him," she thought._

"Amancio," said Karin, trying to engage him, "what does a healer do in Hueco Mundo?" She was surprisingly curious to hear his response.

"I would guess we are not so different from the healers in your world, Kurosaki Karin," he replied, looking thoughtful. "Hollows suffer injuries and illness, just as shinigami do. There are also the side-effects of Lord Aizen's Hogyoku to address."

"Side-effects from the Hogyoku?" she asked, surprised that he was sharing this information with her. "What do you mean?"

"Xiomara has given us permission to speak of this to you, our friend, Kurosaki Karin," he said, noting her surprise. Karin said nothing.

"Lord Aizen gave us great strength. He created most of the Vasto Lordes, and all of the Espada who survived the war with the shinigami. But creating such strength without allowing for the normal process of evolution from Menos to Arrancar has resulted in illness and death for some.

"Curadora and I have been able to heal some of the sick, at least temporarily. It is hoped that you, Kurosaki Karin, will enable us to permanently heal those who are suffering"

"I'm sorry, Amancio, but I still don't understand how I can help," said Karin.

"We have reason to believe that, by removing the additional stress of the many souls which conflict within a hollow, the hollow will be better equipped to fight the effects of the Hogyoku," said Amancio, looking directly into her eyes.

Karin was shocked. It had never occurred to her that the Hogyoku exacted so much in return for the power it had given the Arrancar. More surprising to Karin, however, was the fact that she found herself believing Amancio. She felt he was being honest, telling her the truth. She could sense no deception in his eyes.

"Kurosaki Karin," said Amancio, watching her closely, "Xiomara would like to know if you have made up your mind. If you will help us."

Karin stared at the plate of food which she had been picking at. _"Nothing will ever change unless someone has the courage to take a chance," she thought. "They are not asking you to harm anyone. You may be able to help them."_

She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "I will help you," she said.

"_Did I make the right choice, Masumi?" she wondered. Masumi did not reply._


	16. Staying Afloat

Chapter Sixteen: Staying Afloat

The next morning, Amancio came to Karin's room and escorted her to what appeared to be a laboratory. Unlike many of the other large rooms in Las Noches, it had a low ceiling and no windows. The room was full of various devices and artifacts, none of which looked familiar to Karin.

"Kurosaki Karin," said Amancio, "I thank you for being willing to help us with our research. I understand this must be very difficult for you."

_"Difficult?" Karin wasn't sure if that was the right word. "Confusing, maybe," she thought, "conflicted about whether I made the right choice, definitely."_ She also felt slightly guilty. _"They probably know where I am by now. Ichigo's probably worried about me."_

"Thank you, Amancio," was all she said.

Amancio took her to a smaller room, connected to the laboratory by a door. It was spare, containing a table, and a few chairs. A small box sat on the table. Amancio motioned to Karin to sit down. She did so, and he joined her.

"You know of the Hogyoku, of course," he began, picking up the small box. She nodded.

"Then you would not be surprised to hear that we tried, many times, to duplicate it."

"Duplicate the Hogyoku?" The thought was unsettling. She knew of the power of the Hogyoku, and she knew what it had done to the Soul Society, to Rukia and to Ichigo.

"We were never successful in reproducing it," continued Amancio. "However, one of the experiments with the Hogyoku resulted in the creation of another object." Amancio opened the box he was holding to reveal a small, silver sphere attached to a thin, silver chain. He picked it up in his hands and showed it to Karin. It was translucent, and, through the silver surface, Karin could see a warm blue light, which pulsed softly from within.

"We call it Silver Moon," said Amancio.

Amancio handed the sphere to Karin. It felt warm in her palm. Almost immediately after it touched her skin, however, Karin felt a wave of dizziness come over her. Amancio's face began to shimmer and distort and she felt sick. She quickly handed the sphere back to Amancio.

"I'm sorry," she said, startled, "it…." She couldn't put into words what she had just experienced. Even now, she felt shaky. She put her hands on the arms of the chair to steady herself.

"Kurosaki Karin, may I ask you what you just experienced?" Amancio did not seem surprised at Karin's reaction.

"I…I'm not sure," answered Karin. "For a moment, I felt as though I was somewhere else. Outside my body. Floating."

"The Silver Moon appears to focus the ability of the holder to sense spirit energy," said Amancio, still watching her carefully. "For those who possess even the most basic empathetic abilities, the sphere acts as a focal point, like a zanpakuto.

"In the hands of an individual with strong empathetic spiritual abilities, the sphere may be capable of separating the various souls contained within an Arrancar and releasing those souls."

Karin looked at the sphere warily. "How do you use it?" she asked.

"By placing it around your neck. Then, by focusing your reiatsu on the sphere, you can direct it to explore the souls contained within an Arrancar," explained Amancio. "You may use it to explore my souls, if you wish."

Karin hesitated. She had not expected that the Arrancar would ask her to use an object such as the sphere to attempt to free souls. She knew nothing about the sphere, what it might do to her. Her first contact with the sphere had not been a pleasant experience. Still, she had come this far.

With trepidation, Karin picked up the sphere by its chain and gingerly placed it around her neck. Focusing her reiatsu on the Silver Moon, she looked into Amancio's eyes. She felt sick.

_Many voices spoke at once. The sound was deafening, although not as painful as the pain she had experienced when Masumi had been separated from her._

"_Try to focus on the individual souls, Kurosaki Karin," she heard a voice say in the distance._

_Karin tried to listen to the sounds, to concentrate on individual voices. She could hear words, pieces of conversations, memories. The sounds grew louder, more insistent._

"_It hurts," she thought, "inside me." The pain grew. She heard herself moan. Her voice sounded miles away. She felt herself drowning._

"_Kurosaki-san!" _

Karin opened her eyes. She was lying on the floor of the room. Amancio was kneeling over her, holding the sphere in his hand.

"Kurosaki-san, how do you feel?"

"Terrible, to be honest," she said in a hoarse whisper. She sat up slowly, using Amancio's arm for balance. The room was spinning and her head was throbbing. She felt something warm run from her nose onto her lips and instinctively put her hand to her face. She looked at her hand. Blood.

Karin looked up at Amancio and everything suddenly faded to black.

***************************

"_Karin?"_ It was Masumi. Karin opened her eyes and realized she was laying in her bed.

"_How long have I been out?," she asked him._

"_You've been unconscious for nearly two days," Masumi replied._

"_No 'I told you so'?" asked Karin._

"_No, Karin."_

"_Thank you, Masumi, I appreciate that," said Karin, sitting up._ She felt surprisingly good.

"_What did you experience, Karin, when you put the sphere around your neck?" asked Masumi after a few minutes._ His question surprised her.

"_Why do you ask? I thought you said you feel what I feel." _

"_Yes. However, the sphere appears to interfere with my ability to sense your feelings," explained Masumi. "When you wear the sphere, I have no awareness of what you are experiencing." _This was something Karin had not considered.

"_That would make sense, I guess. Amancio told me that the sphere works like a zanpakuto, to channel reiatsu. I guess you can't really have two zanpakutos," thought Karin. _She thought for a minute, trying to put into words what she had felt while wearing the sphere.

"_Wearing the sphere felt a lot like when they took you away from me," said Karin, collecting her thoughts. "I heard voices, snippets of memories…a loud buzz of noise. I remember feeling as though I was floating outside of my body. I tried to focus on specific voices, but the sounds kept getting louder. It hurt… I must have passed out."_

Masumi was silent. Karin was just about to ask Masumi what he thought about the sphere, when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said.

The door opened to reveal Amancio. "How are you feeling, Kurosaki-san?" he asked as he entered the room.

"I seem to be fine now, Amancio," Karin replied.

"I should have warned you how powerful a tool the sphere was before letting you attempt to use it," he said. He seemed genuinely concerned. Apologetic.

"Don't worry about it," she said, dismissively, "I've been through worse."

"Curadora would like us to resume our work tomorrow, if you are feeling better," said Amancio after a pause. "I told her I believed you to be too ill, but she insisted. Are you still willing?"

Karin was not looking forward to another round with the sphere. Still, she was not about to renege on her promise to help the Arrancar so quickly. _"What other choice do I have anyhow?" thought Karin with resignation. _

"Of course," she said.

"Thank you, Kurosaki Karin," said Amancio, looking into her eyes. Karin managed a smile, looking back at him. And, as he smiled back at her, she saw his face shimmer and blur. She felt slightly dizzy. Then, just as suddenly, the sensation was gone and his face had returned to normal.

Amancio turned and left. As he walked out, for just a split second, Karin was reminded of someone. A memory. And then it, too, was gone, leaving Karin to wonder what she had failed to see.

******************************

Karin was exhausted. Weeks spent working with Amacio during the day and training with Masumi at night, and she could barely keep her eyes open. But it was not just the physical exhaustion which threatened to overwhelm her. She was no closer to mastering the sphere than she was to escaping from this place.

True, working with the sphere had gotten easier for Karin over the past week. The headaches and nosebleeds had continued, but the pain was far less. Karin was able to concentrate for nearly an hour without having to remove the sphere from her neck. But the voices were still overwhelming, and she had yet to distinguish one from another in Arancio. Masumi's training was just as frustrating.

The training Masumi had eluded to in their earlier conversations consisted mostly of meditation exercises, during which Masumi would expose Karin to some of the background 'noise' of the souls around her. Unlike her work with the sphere, Masumi exposed Karin to only short contact with the souls, and the pain was tolerable. Still, she failed to grasp the importance of such training.

After one particularly long session with Masumi, which had lasted nearly until dawn, Karin's frustration reached a fever's pitch, and she confronted Masumi. _"We've been at this for hours, Masumi, and you still haven't explained to me how this is going to help me find my 'true source of strength,' as you call it."_

"_You are tired, Karin," said Masumi patiently. "We will discuss this tomorrow, when you are rested."_

"_I want to talk about it __now__, Masumi," demanded Karin._ The thought came out almost as a shout, and she immediately regretted it.

"_Nothing has changed, Karin," answered Masumi. "I have explained to you that you must surrender to your gifts in order to find your strength. It is no different now."_

"_I just don't understand," she said, angrily. "Are you trying to make this difficult?"_

Masumi did not answer. Karin did her best to relax and master her temper as it boiled up inside of her. _After a few minutes, she said, "Please forgive me, Sensei. You're right. I am tired."_

"_Karin," said Masumi, "you are tired because you continually fight against the river."_

"_The river?" asked Karin, lying back down on the bed, closing her eyes and yawning deeply._

"_There is more than one way to cross a river, Karin," said Masumi gently. "The person who fights the current will drown trying to reach the other side. The person who uses the current to reach the other side arrives safely. She will use the current to transport her to her goal."_

And with that thought, Karin fell asleep and dreamed of rivers, of home, and of a certain silver-haired shinigami.

"_Surrender, Karin, and you will gain the strength of the river," said Masumi. "Sleep well." _

***************************

Curadora was waiting for Amancio as he returned from bringing Karin back to her room. "Curadora," said Amancio, bowing, "I had not expected to see you tonight."

"Your progress with the shinigami is going too slowly," she said, her face impassive. "You are becoming attached to her, Amancio. You are losing your objectivity."

"Kurosaki-san is not our enemy," replied Amancio. "Xiomara has said this."

"Xiomara wants results," said Curadora coldly. "You are too concerned for the girl. Have you considered why you fail to make progress with your work?"

"I don't understand," he said. "What do you believe I have missed?"

"You have not tried removing her zanpakuto," said Curadora.

"But you yourself have said that removing it puts Kurosaki-san's life at risk," said Amancio, deep concern in his eyes. "We have no idea what effect the sphere may have on her without the protection of her zanpakuto."

"To whom do you owe your allegiance, Amancio?" demanded Curadora, studying his face carefully. "Are you Arrancar or shinigami?" Amancio did not reply. "You would do well to remember that you are not, and never will be one of them."

"Of course, Curadora," said Amancio, bowing.

***************************

Karin awoke feeling rested, despite her lack of sleep. As usual, Amancio brought her to the laboratory and the small room in which the sphere was kept. This day, however, there were two Arrancar waiting in the room. Curadora and Tancredo, the Arrancar who had brought Karin to Hueco Mundo.

"I have come to observe the progress you have made in your work together," said Curadora, her eyes cold.

"I have brought Tancredo with me," she continued, looking a Karin. "You are to use him as the focus of your work today. Perhaps a lower-level Arrancar will make a better subject for your experiments than a Vasto Lorde."

Amancio blinked in apparent confusion and then, recovering, said, "Of course." Karin did not notice, but sat, mentally preparing herself for the task at hand.

Amancio gestured to Tancredo to be seated. Karin opened the box that contained the Silver Moon and placed the sphere around her neck. The familiar sensation of nausea and dizziness came over her as she focused her reiatsu on the sphere.

_She could hear them, many voices together. Different than Amancio, but still lost, desperate, in pain. She tried to concentrate on them, individually, to hear what they were saying. Her head hurt, but she could tolerate the pain. She was used to it by now. _

"Karin," said Amancio, touching her shoulder, "what do you feel?"

"The same," she said, quietly. "I can hear them all, but I cannot sense them individually."

Through the haze of the sphere, Karin could see Curadora, standing in the corner of the room, watching them intently. As Karin watched, Curadora rested her hand lightly on the hilt of her zanpakuto. Karin heard her speak the words, "Prison of light."

_The pain was excruciating. Her head felt as though it would explode. "What has she done?!" thought Karin, desperately. She tried to pull the sphere from around her neck, but her hands would not obey, the pain was too intense. _

"Curadora!" said Amancio, his voice betraying fear. "I do not think that is wise." Curadora smiled at him and closed her eyes briefly.

_From everywhere, the sounds of souls, calling out to her, begging her to help them, flooded her mind. She was no longer in the small room, but floating in nothingness, struggling not to lose consciousness._

"_She's taken Masumi away," thought Karin, understanding finally dawning. Her fear grew with the pain. She couldn't think clearly._

_And then, through the pain and the din of thousands of souls, she heard a single voice, clear and distinguishable from the others. A man, powerful and cold. She knew instinctively who it was. Tancredo._

"_I will show you, shinigami," said the spirit whom she knew as Tancredo. "I will show you the others." As he said this, she saw faces, hundreds of them, floating, disembodied before her. _

"_These are the other souls that live within him," she thought. "It finally worked!" And she understood then that it had been Masumi's protection that had prevented her from sensing the souls individually. Through the pain and the noise, she watched Tancredo's souls and felt them call out to her. _

"_Destroy them!" came the voice of Curadora in the distance._

"_I can't administer Konso without my zanpakuto," she yelled. "I won't just destroy them!" She didn't know if Amancio and the others could hear her._

"_You don't have to, shinigami," came the cold voice of Curadora from the distance. "I will destroy them for you."_

_Karin felt a jolt of energy and a powerful vibration all around her. She watched as the hundreds of spirits that had been locked inside Tancredo dissolved into a shimmery haze, leaving her alone in the emptiness with the one, dominant spirit. She heard the souls scream out in pain as they vanished. _

The room swam back into focus and Karin felt hands lift the sphere from around her neck. She was lying on the floor, looking up at Curadora.

"You lied to me," Karin said, with all the strength she could muster. "You said you wanted to Konso the souls within the Arrancar, but you destroyed them instead." Despite her efforts, her voice came out like a whisper. "Xiomara lied. You all lied to me." She fought to stay conscious, trying to keep the voices at bay.

"_Where are you, Masumi?!"_ _she called._ There was no answer.

"No one lied to you, shinigami," said Curadora, her voice controlled. "We needed you to cleanse the other souls."

"But you didn't want me to cleanse them because you are tortured by them, did you?" said Karin, her voice returning. "You wanted to cleanse them so you could become more powerful."

And as she lost consciousness, Karin saw Curadora smile.


	17. Comings and Goings

Chapter Seventeen: Comings and Goings

Hitsugaya Toushirou was frustrated. It had been weeks since he and Ichigo had decided to find Karin, and still Urahara had been unable to create an opening into Hueco Mundo.

They had arrived in the Real World hours after their meeting with Yamamoto. Both Hitsugaya and Ichigo knew that they would face serious consequences if they tried to bring Karin back on their own, but that mattered little to either. Both men knew, however, that they would not be able to utilize the resources of the Soul Society to gain entry to Hueco Mundo.

At Ichigo's suggestion, they had come to the Real World seeking Urahara's help. Urahara had told them that it would take at least several weeks to create a gate stable enough to remain open long enough for a rescue attempt. The Arrancar had, apparently, fortified the entry to Hueco Mundo.

Hitsugaya had always distrusted Urahara. His undisciplined manner, casual work ethic and constant prattle irritated Hitsugaya to the point that Histugaya had been sorely tempted, on several occasions, to use Hyorinmaru to shut Urahara up, permanently. Now, in the training grounds hidden beneath Urahara's shop, Hitsugaya vented his frustration by aiming attack after attack at a nearby rock face. The result was a sliver of rock which threatened to tumble over at any moment.

"Eh, Toushirou, Urahara's going to charge us for repairs if you keep that up," said Ichigo, walking towards Hitsugaya, his hand on the hilt of Zangetsu. "Why don't you take some of your frustration out on me, instead? Might do us both some good."

Hitsugaya's response was a burst of energy from the tip of his zanpakuto which hit the spot where Ichigo had been standing seconds before. Ichigo easily dodged the attack.

"Might want to work on your aim, Toushirou!" laughed Ichigo.

"If I had been aiming, Kurosaki, you'd be dead now," deadpanned Hitsugaya. Ichigo thought he saw the hint of a smile on Hitsugaya's face. "And it's Hitsugaya-taicho to you."

"I don't think so, Toushirou," grinned Ichigo, shifting his balance and aiming Zangetsu at Hitsugaya, "Getsuga Tensho!"

Hitsugaya did not move from the spot, instead taking the side of his blade and deftly reflecting the attack away from him. The rebounding attack hit the sliver of rock that once was the rock face, and the entire structure came crashing down, showering both men with bits of ice, rock and debris.

"Nice shot, Kurosaki," said Hitsugaya, dusting himself off and heading back towards the ladder that led to the shop.

"Leaving so soon?" called Ichigo after him. "This was just getting fun."

Hitsugaya ignored Ichigo and kept walking. Even under the best of circumstances, Hitsugaya was not one to spar for the pure enjoyment of it. Now more than ever, it just didn't seem right, not when Karin was missing.

Ichigo fought the urge to send a well-aimed attacked at Hitsugaya, now climbing the ladder, but thought better of it. _"He's worried about her, too," he thought. _

Ichigo followed Hitsugaya into the living quarters of Urahara's shop. As he walked in the doorway that lead to the dining area, there was a flash of red and something hard connected with his face. A foot.

"What the hell?!"

"Did you think I wouldn't want to know what happened to her?!" Renji, his face nearly as red as his hair. He was furious.

Ichigo rubbed his chin with his hand. "Damn," he said, "that hurt."

"I should have hit you harder," said Renji. "What the hell were you doing, bringing him along and not even letting me know. Did you think I wouldn't want to help bring her back?"

"I don't need him, either," said Ichigo, scowling.

"So you have a plan, Kurosaki-kun?" Urahara walked in the room and the three men turned to look at him.

Ichigo was silent.

"Then I suggest that you consider one," said Urahara, coyly. "The senkai gate will be ready this evening."

*****************************

Karin tossed and turned in her bed. She felt feverish and ill. She had no idea how long it had been since Curadora had taken Masumi from her. Time seemed stuck an endless loop from which she could not escape. Hours spent trying to fight the pain, tune out the voices which threatened to overwhelm her, followed by unconsciousness and silence. Then, the noise would build, and she would again succumb to the darkness.

"_Masumi," she thought desperately. "I need you."_ She called his name dozens of times. Each time, the response was the same. Silence.

In the midst of one of the cycles of pain and unconsciousness, she noticed that she was not alone in her room. Karin struggled to focus on the face of the man who sat next to her bed. Amancio. He looked pale, tired.

"Why are you here?" she asked him, fighting to stay conscious.

"I was worried about you," he said simply.

"You lied to me, Amancio. You betrayed my trust." In spite of the pain, anger burned in her heart.

"I can help you, Kurosaki-san," he said.

"I need my zanpakuto." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry. I cannot do that, Kurosaki-san," he replied, his eyes pained. "Curadora will not return it to you unless you agree to cooperate."

"And allow you to destroy the souls I've sworn to protect?" she said, looking directly at him. "I would rather die."

"I do not wish them dead, either," he said softly.

Karin was silent.

"Please let me help you, Kurosaki-san. Karin." He put his hand on her forehead. She tried to push it away, but she couldn't find the strength to raise her arm. Karin felt a pleasant warmth radiate from her forehead out to her arms, legs and body. The pain in her head was now dull, but tolerable. She felt some of the strength return to her limbs.

"What did you just do?" she asked, sitting up slowly, trying to gather her thoughts.

"It is a technique we use to help relieve the pain of those who have been sickened by the Hogyoku," Amancio replied. "It's effects are temporary. It will last several hours, at most. I am sorry I cannot do more for your pain."

"Curadora told you to do this?" asked Karin, surprised.

"No," he said, and she could see a hint of fear in his eyes, "but I will not watch you suffer, Karin."

When she did not respond, he said with some urgency, "You must leave this place, Karin. I do not wish to see you die." She saw him reach for something behind him. A zanpakuto.

Karin looked at the weapon. It was not Masumi, but it was a serviceable weapon, similar to the weapon she had been given at the Academy before Masumi had transformed it.

"They will not know you are gone for some time," said Amancio. "If you can get out of Las Noches safely, you may find safe refuge in the badlands near the forest. There are…others there who may be able to help you return to the Soul Society."

"_Is this another trick?" wondered Karin silently. "Even so, this may be my only opportunity to escape. I'd be a fool to pass up the chance."_

"Why are you doing this, Amancio?" she asked, and she looked into his face, trying to sense what lay behind his eyes. Unlike before, when she had been unable to sense the spirits within, Karin saw Amancio's face begin to shimmer and change. Remembering what Masumi had told her, she tried her best not to fight the sensation.

"I know you, Karin," he said, smiling now. "I've known you since you were a child." And in his face, Karin saw reflected the soul of a man, handsome and proud. She began to see his body take form, a ghostly outline around Amancio. The soul wore the uniform of a United States Air Force pilot, the man she had seen more than ten years ago in her dream. The soul who had called out to her when she had looked out of her bedroom window.


	18. Surrender

Chapter Eighteen: Surrender

Hitsugaya moved slowly down the corridor towards the place where he had sensed Karin's reiatsu. Feeling the strength of her spirit when they had first arrived in Hueco Mundo had been a huge boost to the morale of all three men. She was alive and still strong.

Hitsugaya had left Ichigo and Renji on the other side of the massive fortress that was Las Noches. The plan was for Ichigo and Renji to attempt to enter the buildings undetected and meet Hitsugaya somewhere in the middle. If they were detected, the two men were to draw as much attention to their position as possible. If all went well, Hitsugaya would be able to retrieve Karin with as little interference as possible from the Arrancar and the four of them would retreat to the senkai gate.

Hitsugaya had been chosen to locate Karin because, of the three men, he was the most accomplished at masking his reiatsu. Inwardly, Hitsugaya was relieved that he would be the first to have contact with her. There was much he needed to say, and he lacked the courage to say it in front of Ichigo and Renji.

He was close now, he sensed it. _"She's moving," he thought, as he rounded a dark corner, "and she's alone." _

He felt her, behind a door. He placed his hand on the hilt of Hyorinmaru, prepared for the possibility that there might be others with her who he could not sense. Gently, he turned the handle of the door and opened it.

The room was lit by a high window and shadows fell across the stone floor below. In a corner, Hitsugaya saw a lone figure, leaning against the wall.

"Karin," he called in a low voice, trying not to startle her. She turned to face him, still using the wall for support.

With a look of surprise and relief she said, "Toushirou." It came out almost like a sigh.

Pushing herself away from the wall, she ran to him and hugged him tightly. He felt his arms move instinctively to hold her closer. She looked up at him. Her face was wet with tears. "Thank you…for finding me," she said.

"We can't stay here, Karin," he said, forcing himself to release her. "It's too dangerous. Ichigo and Renji are waiting."

"Ichigo and Renji are here, too?" she asked, wiping her face. She felt a pang of guilt. _"Please let them be okay," she thought. "I could never forgive myself if they were hurt on my account."_

Hitsugaya nodded. "It took time for Urahara to open a gate. The Arrancar may be planning something - they have made it very difficult to enter Hueco Mundo."

"_And I've been helping them," thought Karin, with regret._

"Toushirou," said Karin, "there's something you need to know."

"It will have to wait, Karin. We need to get out of here." Karin started to speak again, but Hitsugaya motioned for her to follow him back out into the hallway. They walked back down the corridor in the direction Hitsugaya had come. By exiting the building and making their away around it to the rendezvous point, he hoped they would be less likely to encounter any Arrancar.

Karin rested her hand on the borrowed zanpakuto. It felt strange to her touch, with none of the comforting warmth of Masumi. _"It will have to do," she thought, "I'm lucky to have it at all."_ She thought about Amancio and what he had risked to help her. She prayed that, when her escape was discovered, he would not be punished too harshly.

They came to the end of the corridor and a larger door. Hitsugaya opened it and sunlight hit their faces. "This way," he said, pointing to a grouping of smaller buildings to the right of where they stood. "We'll use the buildings as cover."

There were no Arrancar in sight as they ran behind the nearest building. "I feel several of them, probably several hundred yards away. Let's stay here a few minutes until I can determine what direction they're coming from," said Hitsugaya.

Karin sat down on the warm sand, her back against the building. He sat down next to her. In the sunlight, he could see dark circles under her eyes. She looked thinner than he remembered. Tired.

She noticed him looking at her and smiled. "It's so good to see you, Toushirou…I mean, Hitsugaya-taicho."

"Under the circumstances," he said, laughing softly, "Toushirou is just fine. I did not come here as a captain, Karin."

"I'm don't understand what you mean," she said, confused.

"The Soul Society opposed a rescue mission, Karin," he said, his eyes surveying the area around where they sat. "We came here on our own."

The realization of what he was saying struck her, hard. "I don't deserve that, Toushirou," she said, her face falling, the specter of guilt rising in her.

"You deserve nothing less," he said, looking directly at her this time. "I am only sorry the Captain-Commander did not agree."

"_So Xiomara was right," thought Karin, "the Soul Society does see me as a traitor."_

"Karin," said Hitsugaya, after a moment, "I owe you an apology."

"For what?" she asked, surprised.

"For letting my feelings for you cloud my judgment," he said. "In my fear for your safety, I overlooked the truth. You saved your squad. For that, I am grateful."

"_I have to tell him what I've done," thought Karin. "I don't deserve his apology." _

"Toushirou," said Karin, "You need to know something…"

But before she could finish, he had kissed her. And in that moment, all guilt and self-recrimination was banished from her mind, replaced by a new pain she could not yet begin to understand. She kissed him back hungrily, her hands on his face. He pulled her so close to him there was no separation between the two. Afterwards, they held each other that way for what felt seemed like an eternity, her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Karin," he whispered. He spoke the words so softly, she thought she had imagined them. But he drew her face back towards him and kissed her again with a passion that she had not thought him capable of. Then, suddenly, he pushed her away.

"They're coming this way, Karin." She could hear them. Voices. Arrancar, moving closer. She drew her zanpakuto.

"Kurosaki Karin," came a woman's voice, throaty and commanding, "we know you are here." Karin got to her feet.

"What do you think you're doing, Karin?" demanded Hitsugaya.

"It's me they want, Toushirou. They haven't felt your presence yet."

"I'm not leaving without you, Karin, so you can put that thought out of your head," said Hitsugaya, angrily. "I don't care what you think you've done."

"_Nothing could be worse than losing you again," he thought to himself._

"Then let me confront her alone," said Karin. "She wants me alive, Toushirou. If they don't know you're here, we'll have a better chance making it out of this in one piece."

He had to admit she had a point, although he fought the urge to pull rank on her, to tell her it was too dangerous. _"Remember what got you here in the first place, Hitsugaya," he thought, "you can't let your feelings interfere with your strategy, or you'll both end up dead."_

"All right," he said, frowning slightly, "but take it slowly and assess the situation. We both need to be looking for openings." Karin nodded.

Gripping the zanpakuto in her hand, Karin walked around the side of the building into a large courtyard that linked all of the smaller buildings. It was filled with a least a dozen Arrancar. Curadora stood at the front of the group. Amancio as nowhere to be seen.

"Kurosaki Karin," said Curadora, "we have work to do."

"You can't use me anymore, Curadora," said Karin through clenched teeth, "I have made my decision. I will not help you murder more defenseless souls. I will die before I allow that to happen."

As she said these words, Karin became aware that the pain, which had been relegated to the background since she had left Amancio, was beginning to return. She could hear the sound of the souls, pressing in on her, wearing her down. She knew she had only a few minutes before she would be overcome and lose consciousness.

Without Masumi, Karin knew that her best attack would not be with her zanpakuto. She focused all her reiatsu on the group of Arrancar closest to Hitsugaya's hiding place. She wanted to give him room to maneuver.

"Hado thirty-three, Soukatsui!" A cloud of red fire flew at the Arrancar. Bits of the building behind them were thrown up into the air with the force of the attack, but the Arrancar stood their ground.

Karin's head started to spin and she felt sick again. _"I have to concentrate," she thought, willing herself to stay in the moment and not lose focus. "_Hado fifty-four! Haien!" she shouted. The purple blast went wide, missing the Arrancar by several feet. She heard Curadora laugh.

"Not feeling so well, are you, shinigami?" said Curadora, clearly enjoying Karin's predicament. "I'm impressed you were able to last this long without the protection of your zanpakuto."

Karin glared and aimed her zanpakuto directly at Curadora. With the last bit of energy she could muster, she focused her reiatsu on the blade. A bolt of reddish-orange fire flew from its tip. Curadora, smiling, held her palm out and neatly deflected the attack with her bare skin. It rebounded and hit Karin squarely on the chest.

"No!" yelled Hitsugaya, running out from behind the building to where Karin stood, his zanpakuto drawn. "Souten ni zase, Hyorinmaru!"

Karin felt her knees buckle under her, and she fell to the ground. The pain of the rebounding attack was far less than the pain of the unfiltered sounds of souls, screaming and begging her for release. She lost consciousness.

Hitsugaya grabbed Karin and gently laid her down beside the building. Confident she was no longer in the line of fire, he swung his katana with its now crescent-shaped blade towards where the closest Arrancar stood. The three Arrancar nearest to the attack flew back, narrowly missing a stream of ice particles. A fourth Arrancar who stood behind was not quick enough, and was instantly trapped in a wall of ice.

"And I blamed Amancio for the shinigami girl's escape," laughed Curadora, her zanpakuto held out in front of her. "Apparently, I owe him an apology."

Hitsugaya, anger boiling inside him, aimed another attack of ice from his blade towards Curadora. She sidestepped it easily. "Do you think you have any hope of defeating me without bankai?" she said, still laughing. "You shinigami still underestimate the true power of the Espada."

"We defeated you before," growled Hitsugaya. "You lost the war."

"We lost only because Aizen-sama was too afraid to lend us his power to win," she said, no longer laughing. "He feared us. He was afraid that giving us his strength would allow us to overpower him!" And with that, she launched an enormous Gran Rey Cero, forcing him to retreat back towards the place where Karin lay.

He knew she was right. He would not be able to fight this many Arrancar without the use of his bankai.

"_I need to draw them away from Karin," he thought, flying up over the building._

"Daiguren Hyorinmaru!" Hitsugaya yelled, releasing his bankai. An enormous cloud enveloped him, coalescing around his body. Wings of ice grew from his back, and ice the shape of a dragon's head covered his hand and the hilt of his sword.

"Now you will see how weak you are, shinigami!" yelled Curadora, also flying up into the air and matching him at a distance of about fifty yards. Curadora looked down at one of the Arrancar. Larger than the rest, he stood towards the back of the group. He alone had yet to draw his zanpakuto.

Hitsugaya had expected Curadora to release her Resurreccion form, but she did not. _"What is she playing at?" he wondered._

Curadora launched another cero in his direction. With his bankai, the cero was little more than a distraction. Still, he took his eyes off the second Arrancar momentarily.

"Tancredo," yelled Curadora, "now!"

Hitsugaya looked down to see the large Arrancar draw his zanpakuto. It caught the light of the sun, momentarily blinding Hitsugaya. As Hitsugaya struggled to clear his vision, he felt the world around him grow dark. He fell from the sky and hit the ground.

Ice and sand flew everywhere as Hitsugaya's body landed with a crash in the center of the courtyard. Blood began to run from several cuts on his face. His left arm was bent away from his body at an unnatural angle. He was still.

"Excellent, Tancredo!" shouted Curadora, triumphant. "Xiomara will be pleased. The technique is a success." Curadora then walked over to where Karin lay, still unconscious. She placed her hand on Karin's forehead as Amancio had done before and Karin's eyes fluttered open.

The pain in Karin's chest burned but her mind was clear, the constant chatter of voices having receded again into the background of her consciousness. The first thing Karin saw when she opened her eyes was Curadora, standing over her.

"Shinigami girl," she said, her face flushed with victory, "your help has been invaluable." Curadora motioned to something in the middle of the courtyard.

Karin took in the image of the broken body, lying in the center of the group of Arrancar. She struggled to her feet and, in spite of her injuries, ran to Hitsugaya as fast as she could. "Toushirou, no…"

She took him in her arms and, as she did so, she felt the spark of his reiatsu, strong and steady. _"He' s alive," she thought, "thank goodness."_ She looked down at his bloody face. His eyes were open but unseeing, just like the children in the Rukongai and the members of her squad had been.

She saw Tancredo, standing apart from the other Arrancar, his zanpakuto shining in the sunlight and she knew immediately what had happened. The weapon, which had until now only been effective in hypnotizing the weakest of shinigami, had now become a tool for controlling the strongest.

"_Was this what the Arrancar wanted from me? To make Aizen's weapon effective against someone the level of a Gotei captain?" _A chill ran down her spine. She could only imagine how such a tool might be used against the Soul Society.

Curadora walked over to Karin and slapped her hard across the face. The realization of what she had done left her completely off guard. She fell backwards, letting go of her grip on Hitsugaya. Curadora pulled Hitsugaya away from Karin and carried him, using Sonido, to the edge of the courtyard.

"You may not care for your life, shinigami," said Curadora with contempt, "but you appear to care for the life of this man," She pointed her zanpakuto at Hitsugaya's heart. "You will assist us, Kurosaki Karin, or he will die."


	19. The River

Chapter Nineteen: The River

Karin watched helplessly as Curadora held Hitsugaya at the point of her zanpakuto.

"_Masumi," she called out in her desperation, "I need you!"_ There was no answer.

Karin knew Hitsugaya would not want her to save his life at the expense of the souls they were duty bound to protect. Even if it meant sacrificing both of their lives, she would never agree to help the Arrancar in their quest to obtain the full the power of Aizen's Kanzen Saimin.

"_There must be some other way," she thought. _

She considered agreeing to help the Arrancar to buy them more time. _"But what, then? They will kill us both, eventually, and with us, Renji and Ichigo, too." _A growing sense of hopelessness came over her.

"_Masumi, what would you have me do?"_

Karin remembered Masumi speak of the river, of using the current, surrendering to the current, instead of fighting it. With some frustration, Karin remembered the countless times she had tried to surrender to the nameless river of strength Masumi had described, and how she had subjected herself to the pain of the voices of the souls which threatened to drown her.

Suddenly, the realization dawned on her. She finally understood. She had not recognized the river for what it was. The constant hum of the souls' voices, crying out to her - they were the river.

"_The voices of the souls," she thought, her heart beating faster with her epiphany. "The souls are also the source of my strength!" _

All this time, she had been allowing herself to drown in the river of voices, afraid of what surrendering to their cries meant. By fighting the constant drone of the voices, she had been the cause of her own pain. Masumi had understood this, and had protected her from herself.

Masumi had been there, since she was a child, protecting her, keeping her from drowning. _"He's always been with me," she thought, as her understanding deepened. "If he has always been with me, he can't be truly locked away. I can always call him back."_

And with this thought, Karin felt something solid and warm in the palm of her hand. She looked down in wonder. There, in her hand, was her zanpakuto, vibrating with her reiatsu.

"_Sensei," she thought, with a smile, "You never left me, did you?"_

"_No, Karin," said Masumi._ The sound of his voice gave her strength. She stood up, ignoring the pain from her wounds, and pointed Masumi directly at Curadora.

Curadora's surprise was evident as Karin shouted, "Soar, Masumi!" A huge burst of what looked like fiery sunshine erupted from the end of the weapon and spread over the entire courtyard. It was more powerful than any attack Karin had managed before, but she was not concerned for Hitsugaya's safety. She controlled where the attack went, who it touched.

The Arrancar, including Curadora, were temporarily stunned by the force of the attack. Using shunpo, Karin moved quickly to where Curadora stood and retrieved Hitsugaya. She leaned him against the wall of the building and shouted, "Hado Seventy-three, Tozansho!" A glowing, pyramid-shaped barrier appeared around both Karin and Hitsugaya, temporarily shielding them from attack.

"_Masumi," thought Karin, urgently, "I need your help. How do I bring him out of this?"_

"_Put your hands on his face, Karin," said Masumi, his voice strong and clear. "Focus on his soul."_

Karin closed her eyes, willing the barrier to stay in place long enough for her to bring Hitsugaya back to his senses. She felt Masumi's presence and allowed him to guide her inside Hitsugaya's mind.

_She was standing in a train station, full of people. She looked around for him, but she couldn't see him anywhere._

"_Toushirou!" she shouted at the top of her voice. He was here, somewhere, she could feel him. She could feel his fear. Not the fear of a man, but of a small child. He was lost, afraid, and alone. _

"_Toushirou," she called to him again, looking around desperately. They had little time, she knew._

"_Focus on his soul, Karin" said Masumi. "Listen for his voice."_

"_Toushirou!" _

_And then she heard it. A tiny voice amidst the din of the station. She walked towards him, not seeing him, but feeling his soul there, hidden amongst the hundreds of people pressed together._

"_Toushirou!"_

"_I'm Toushirou," came a small voice from below. "Who are you?" asked the little boy, looking up at her._

"_I'm a friend," said Karin, looking down at the silver-haired child._

"_I can't find her," he said, tears spilling onto his cheeks. "My mother. I was holding her hand, but then…"_

"_Take my hand, Toushirou," said Karin, reaching out to him. He hesitated._

"_But I need to find my mother," he said, his eyes wide with fear and loss._

"_This is the past. It can't hurt you now. Come back with me, Toushirou. Please."_

"_Where are we going?" asked the little boy, wiping his face on his sleeve._

"_Back to where you belong." He put his hand in hers._

Hitsugaya looked at Karin as she took her hands away from his face. Gone was the blank stare. In its place, Karin saw a mixture of wonder and gratitude.

"Thank you, Karin, for bringing me back." He stood up and picked up his zanpakuto. The barrier began to fade.

"We don't have much time," she said. "How badly are you hurt?"

"I'll be fine," he said, wincing as he stood up. "I think my left arm is broken, but I've had worse injuries. You look pretty bad yourself."

"I'm fine," she said dismissively.

"The Arrancar's weapon, Toushirou, the one they used on my squad - it's far more powerful than before. What do you know about Aizen's weapon? Did the Soul Society ever find a way to defeat it?"

"No," he answered quickly, "but there are some shinigami who were immune to its effects. Your brother, for one, when he was in his hollow form. A few others."

Karin thought for a moment. _"Masumi," thought Karin, urgently, "Did you protect me from the Arrancar's weapon?"_

"_Yes, Karin," replied Masumi._

"_Can you protect others?" she asked._

"_Yes," answered Masumi, "although it will require most of your reiatsu for me to do so."_

"_I understand," she said._

"Toushirou," said Karin out loud, "I can keep you safe from the effects of the weapon, at least for a short time, but I will not be able to fight."

Hitsugaya smiled. "Karin, you forget that I've been a captain for longer than you've been alive."

Karin blushed, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Toushirou. Of course. How stupid of me."

"No need to apologize," he said, laughing now, "you have fought well and I am proud to be your captain."

The barrier dissolved. Karin closed her eyes and raised Masumi high over her head. She imagined Masumi's power, a shield above them both. A cloud of yellow haze formed around Masumi's blade and rose above her, reflecting the sunlight. She opened her eyes and nodded to him. For the second time, Hitsugaya released his bankai.

"Ryusenka!" he shouted as he flew at one of the nearest Arrancar, stabbing him in the shoulder. A burst of ice erupted from Hyorinmaru at the point of attack, encasing the Arrancar and shattering into thousands of tiny bits. The other Arrancar moved away from Hitsugaya, retreating back to where Curadora stood.

"_I need to stay close to Karin," thought Hitsugaya, assessing the situation. "She's unlikely to be able to withstand an attack."_

Curadora appeared to have realized what Karin and Hitsugaya were doing. She moved quickly to a spot not far from Karin. Hitsugaya used shunpo to place himself between the two women.

"Nice try, shinigami captain," called Curadora, and aimed an attack of violet flames at Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya knew if he moved, Karin would take the full force of the attack. Instead, he wrapped his ice wings around them both, forcing Curadora backwards several feet to avoid being caught inside. Curadora's attack hit the ice on one of the wings, melting its surface just slightly, but causing no serious damage to Hitsugaya or Karin.

"_We'll get nowhere like this," thought Hitsugaya, releasing his wings. "I can't protect her and defeat them at the same time."_

"Need a little help?" came a voice from behind Hitsugaya. "Getsuga Tensho!"

Hitsugaya saw a flash of blue and several smaller Arrancar flew back and hit one of the buildings with a resounding crash.

"Sure looks like he does," said Renji, now at Hitsugaya's side.

"Don't look at the blade of the large Arrancar in the back" said Hitsugaya quickly to Renji. "Kurosaki, you'll need your hollow transformation - they've adapted Aizen's Kanzen Saimin." Ichigo put his hand to his face and felt the familiar coldness of the hollow mask covering his skin.

Hitsugaya turned to Karin, "Karin, can you protect Renji as well?"

"I think so," she answered, closing her eyes and focusing every ounce of energy she had left on protecting the three of them.

"What's she doing?" asked Ichigo as he fired off another attack. It hit the edge of the courtyard and blasted stone and sand high into the air.

"Your sister's zanpakuto has the ability to block the effects of the weapon," said Hitsugaya, as he swung around quickly to stab an Arrancar who was trying to reach him from behind. "She's able to extend that protection to others, but she cannot fight while she's doing so."

"Howl, Zabimaru!" yelled Renji, releasing his zanpakuto. It swung a wide arc, knocking several Arrancar hard to the ground where they lay, unmoving. Less than six Arrancar still remained in the courtyard, including Curadora and Tancredo.

"_More will come," thought Hitsugaya. _"Kurosaki, Abarai, take Karin and get out of here!"

"You will not leave with her!" shouted Curadora. She pointed her zanpakuto skyward and circles of violet light grew from the ground where she stood, enveloping her completely. The circles grew in diameter and red flames shot out from inside them. In a matter of seconds, the light faded and Curadora stood before them in her Resurreccion form.

Curadora was now easily ten feet tall. Her eyes were violet and her hair was dark red with black streaks though it. Her arms were long and snakelike, with long fingers that ended in silver blades. Her zanpakuto had changed, as well. It was now a giant metal sphere attached to the end of a chain. The sphere glowed deep purple, and red sparks flew from it like static electricity.

She swung the sphere on the chain, and large bursts of red and black fire flew towards where the four shinigami stood. Toushirou shielded Karin from the blast, while Ichigo and Renji, using shunpo, maneuvered out of the line of fire. The sand where they had once stood had turned to glass.

Ichigo fired a blast of black from Zangetsu which Curadora deflected using the sphere. The sphere appeared to absorb the energy and it glowed brighter.

"Hihiou Zabimaru!" yelled Renji, releasing his bankai. The huge, snakelike body of Zabimaru twisted, and its baboon head roared as it soared through the air at Curadora and the remaining Arrancar.

Karin, still focused on maintaining the protective barrier around Renji and Hitsugaya, watched the unfolding mayhem, helpless to do anything. The effort of maintaining the barrier was beginning to take its toll on her injured body. Karin could feel her reiatsu, growing weaker.

"_I cannot protect you from your wounds much longer, Karin," said Masumi. _Karin felt something warm and wet seep from her chest through her clothing where the zanpakuto blast had hit her. She was starting to bleed.

"_If I can't maintain the barrier, both Renji and Hitsugaya will die," she thought as she watched Curadora attack again, reducing one of the nearby buildings to dust. _Karin sensed more reiatsus in the distance, coming closer. Reinforcements. Ichigo, by himself, stood no chance against an army of Arrancar.

"_How long do you think you can hold the barrier on your own, Masumi?" she asked._

"_A minute, perhaps, maybe two," answered Masumi. "There will be little time to act."_

"_That's good enough, Masumi," she said._ She knew what she had to do. She would not let them sacrifice themselves for her.

Karin walked slowly around the perimeter of the courtyard, trying to attract as little attention as possible. Curadora and the remaining Arrancar were intently focused on Ichigo, Renji and Hitsugaya, and did not notice her move. Bursts of cero and flame flew in all directions. Hitsugaya floated above, battling Curadora while Ichigo and Renji engaged the rest.

Karin stood some twenty feet away from Tancredo now. _"I have to destroy the weapon," she thought. "I have to repair the damage I've done."_

"_Now, Masumi!" thought Karin, focusing every bit of her strength on the blade. _

Orange light rose in circles from Masumi's hilt, growing larger and extending beyond the tip of the weapon. Karin closed her eyes and focused her thoughts on the chorus of souls, the river that ran through her, and threw herself into it, allowing it to transport her. Surrendering to its power.

Reddish wind blew around Karin's feet and rose to cover her body, connecting with the orange light to create a sunset effect. She opened her eyes, and with every ounce of strength she had left she directed the combined energy at Tancredo. An enormous white light, tinged with red and orange flame burst from the end of Masumi directly to where the Arrancar stood.

For a moment, Tancredo stood frozen, uncomprehending. Then the light from Karin's attack illuminated his entire body and he screamed in pain. The energy of the attack glowed like the sun. Tancredo's body vanished. In its place was a light, in the shape of the Arrancar. And then it, too, vanished.

"No!" shouted Curadora, as she witnessed Tancredo disappear. She sent a burst of fire from her weapon directly at Karin. Karin, depleted from the attack that had killed Tancredo, was helpless to move in time.

"Karin!" yelled Hitsugaya, realizing what just happened. The closest of all three men to her, he flew, trying to position himself between Karin and Curadora in order to shield Karin from the attack. As he moved, he realized he would not make it in time and, at the last moment, extended one of his wings as far as he could, deflecting a portion the blast away from where Karin stood.

"Die, shinigami!" screamed Curadora, enraged, as the remainder of the attack hit Karin. Karin flew backwards, hitting the only remaining building, shoulder first.

Ichigo and Renji came at Curadora from the sides, their separate attacks hitting the Espada simultaneously. Curadora fell, mortally wounded, onto the broken bits of building and sand.

Hitsugaya grabbed Karin's arm, supporting her weight so she did not fall onto the ground. A moment later, Renji had put her other arm over his shoulder. Ichigo landed softly in front of her, his hollow mask dissolving.

"There are more coming," said Hitsugaya. "We need to leave. Now."

"I'll take her," said Ichigo, gently lifting Karin up and putting her over his shoulder.

Karin smiled at him and said, weakly, "Thanks, Ichi-nii."

"You look like hell, little sister," he said with a forced smile. And with that, the four of them headed back to the gate and to safety.


	20. Near Misses and Crossed Stars

Chapter Twenty: Near Misses and Crossed Stars (A.K.A. "Much Ado About Abarai" )

Night fell over the Seireitei. Hitsugaya sat silently by Karin's hospital bed, watching her breathe. She had been unconscious since they returned from Hueco Mundo. Unohana had assured him that she would recover, but, seeing her like this, helpless and immobile, disturbed him deeply.

Thanks in large part to Karin, he, Renji and Ichigo had escaped the Arrancar with only minor injuries. Unohana had been able to repair his broken arm with little difficulty, and now, more than a day later, the stiffness was almost gone. Things had not gone as well with the Captain-Commander.

Upon their return, Hitsugaya, Ichigo and Renji had been called before Yamamoto. As expected, the Captain-Commander had not been pleased. Yamamoto, however, knew better than to throw them in the brig for their conduct. He was used to, and silently appreciated the free spirit and independence of his Gotei captains and vice-captains. Still, military commander that he was, Yamamoto felt that someone should answer for the fiasco in Hueco Mundo. That person, unfortunately, turned out to be Karin.

Hitsugaya and the other two men had argued tirelessly on her behalf, citing her bravery and skill in combating the Arrancar in Hueco Mundo. They argued that Karin had not left the Soul Society willingly. Given her role in the Arrancars' creation of a more powerful weapon to use against the shinigami, however, Yamamoto remained resolute.

"It matters little that the weapon was destroyed," Yamamoto had said. "Regardless of whether she was taken against her will, Kurosaki Karin's complicity in the weapon's creation is undisputed. She assisted the Arrancar and is responsible for her actions."

Looking at her now, Hitsugaya felt uncomfortable with the implications of his confession of love in Hueco Mundo. He had not planned to tell her he loved her, but Karin always seemed to erode his self-control.

And then there was the question of Karin's relationship with Renji to consider. Hitsugaya was keenly aware of the fact that Karin had not responded by telling him she loved him, as well. He would not force the issue. He would give her whatever time she needed. He was a patient man.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," said Unohana, interrupting his thoughts, "you must leave now. She is in good hands."

Hitsugaya knew better than to argue with Unohana. "I will be back tomorrow morning to see her," he said, picking up his zanpakuto and walking out of the room.

***********************************

It was early the next morning when Karin awoke. Her eyelids felt heavy and there was a dull, throbbing pain in her chest. _"Where am I?" she wondered, as the room began to come into focus._

The first thing she saw was a mop of red hair. "Glad to see you're awake," said Renji, grinning. "Took you long enough."

"Renji," said Karin, her throat dry. She looked around, taking in her surroundings.

"You're home," he said, "back in the Soul Society. Unohana treated your injuries."

"Ichigo and Toushirou?"

"They're just fine," he replied. "A few scratches, nothing serious. Ichigo came to see you, but you were sleeping."

"Thank goodness they're all right," said Karin, relieved.

"You're the reason we made it out of there in one piece, you know."

"I'm the reason you were there in the first place," she said, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Renji, I…"

"I'm not going to let you wallow," Renji said, cutting her off. "What is it with you Kurosaki's and guilt, anyhow? Your brother is just as bad."

"But I…"

"No, Karin," he said, emphatically. "Whatever you think you did in helping the Arrancar, I know you had a good reason for doing it. Just because Yamamoto doesn't agree…"

This time it was Karin who cut him off, "What do you mean, Renji?"

Renji looked at the floor. "_Stupid idiot," he thought, mentally kicking himself. "She doesn't need to know just yet."_

"Renji," said Karin, her voice stronger now, "tell me what happened."

Renji was silent.

"Dammit, Renji, I need to know. Did he punish you?" She didn't want them to suffer any more than they already had on her account.

"No," said Renji, "he gave us a slap on the wrist, that's all."

"There's more, though, isn't there?" She was not going to let this drop. She knew he wasn't telling her everything. She could see it in his eyes.

"Yes," he said, reluctantly. She glared at him.

"I'm listening, Renji."

He hesitated a moment longer and then said, as quickly as he could, "You're being sent back to the Academy."

"That's it?" she asked. "I thought you were going to tell me something really terrible."

"You're okay with that?" he asked, surprised by her reaction.

"If you mean, would I rather be at the Academy than the Tenth? Of course not. But there was a time when I thought I'd be thrown in prison or worse. I can live with this."

"We told him how you destroyed the weapon, how you saved our lives," said Renji, his voice betraying his frustration.

"I appreciate that, Renji," said Karin, now smiling. "You're a good friend."

Renji's face reddened at her words. _"Just a friend?" he wondered silently._

There was a knock on the door. Kazu and Jiro stood in the doorway, smiling and waving.

"Hey guys," said Karin. It felt like an eternity since she had last seen them.

"Come on in."

Renji stood up. "You don't need to leave yet, Renji," she said.

"Nah," said Renji, "I gotta get back to the Sixth or Kuchiki-taicho is going to kill me. He's already ticked off at me for leaving without telling him." He hugged her gently, afraid to hurt her.

"See you later?" she asked, as he walked out.

"You bet," he replied, and then he was gone, leaving Karin alone with the two boys.

"Hey, Karin," said Jiro, "looks like you're feeling better. We came to see you yesterday, but you weren't awake."

"Thanks," she said, "I really appreciate it. Looks like you'll be seeing a lot more of me, too."

"How's that?" asked Kazu, rubbing his nose.

"I'm being sent back to the Academy," she said.

"No way!" said Jiro, stunned at the news. "Why?"

"I'll tell you later," she answered. She was starting to feel tired, and the reality of what had happened in Hueco Mundo was starting to sink in. She thought about Hitsugaya again.

"What's the matter, Karin?" asked Jiro, noticing the look on her face. "Are you upset about having to come back to the Academy?"

"No, it's not that at all," she said, still thinking about Hitsugaya.

"Then what's bothering you?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"It's nothing, Jiro," she answered. "It's just that…there's this man and…"

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" asked Jiro, understanding dawning._ "That redheaded guy," he thought. "Can't blame her, I guess. They say he's captain class."_

"I guess so…yes. Is it that obvious?"

Both boys nodded at the same time and Karin laughed. She was thankful for so many things, not the least of which was the fact that, if she had to return to the Academy, she would be returning to people about whom she cared a great deal.

****************************************

Toushirou walked down the hallway towards Karin's room. "Damn paperwork," he grumbled under his breath. He had planned to be here hours ago, to check on her, see if she was awake, but Matsumoto had deposited a pile of paperwork on his desk just as he had been about to leave.

As he reached the end of the corridor, Hitsugaya saw two Academy students leaving Karin's room. The taller of the two put his hand on the shoulder of the other, and Histugaya overheard him say, "Sorry, Kazu, looks like she's taken. She's in love with that Abarai guy. Guess we'll just have to settle for one of the girls at the Academy."

The second boy looked slightly crestfallen. "Yeah," he said, "kind of hard to compete with someone like him." The boys bowed slightly as Hitsugaya walked by, acknowledging his presence.

Hitsugaya turned and watched as the two students walked down the corridor and out of sight. Then, without stepping foot in Karin's room, he turned around and walked out of the Fourth Division. There was no need to ask her how she felt. He had his answer.

*********************************

Late the next morning, Unohana came to tell Karin that she was free to leave. "Take it easy on yourself for a few days, Kurosaki-chan," Unohana had told her. "You've been through a great deal."

Karin was packing up her black shinigami uniform, having changed into Academy white and red, when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she called.

"I heard you've been paroled from this place," said Renji, grinning.

"Renji, you just missed Ichigo," she said as she put the uniform into a small bag.

"Saw him on the way in," he said. "He was right. You look a hell of a lot better than yesterday."

"Thanks," she said, "I feel a lot better." Karin turned and walked over to the window and looked out.

"Something wrong?" he asked. She seemed distracted.

"Oh…no Renji, I'm fine," she said, turning back to him. "Renji?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you seen Toushirou?"

"Not today," he answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," she said, turning back toward the window again. "I haven't seen him since we got back. He's probably just busy."

"Can I take you to get something to eat?" Renji asked hopefully, changing the subject. "It's almost lunchtime."

"Thanks, Renji, that's sweet of you, but I need to go over to the Tenth and pick up my things," she said. "Maybe another time?"

"Sure." He was disappointed. "I'll stop by after you get settled back in at the Academy, okay?"

"That'd be great, Renji. I'll see you then."

"Take care of yourself," he said, smiling. "See ya later."

"_I'm not giving up on you that easily, Karin," he thought as he walked down the corridor and out of the front door._

**********************************

Karin arrived at the Tenth a short time later. It only took her a few minutes to gather up the few possessions she had and put them in the bag with her black uniform. She looked around at what used to be her quarters and smiled as she closed the door.

"_I'll be back someday," she thought, with determination._

There was one more thing she needed to do before returning to the Academy. She needed to see Hitsugaya. She needed to know if he had meant what he said in Hueco Mundo.

There were few people in the main building of the Tenth Division. Most had gone to lunch. Karin walked up to Hitsugaya's office and knocked on the door.

"Come," he said, not looking up from his desk.

"Toushirou," she said. In spite of herself, she felt her heart pound in her chest. _"I'm nervous," she thought, surprised by the emotion._

Hitsugaya looked up from his desk. His jaw was stiff with tension. "Kurosaki."

She thought his use of her last name strange, given what had transpired between them only a few days ago. Still, she tried to put it out of her mind. _"I'm sure he's uncomfortable, too," she thought. "It must have been very difficult for him to tell me how he felt."_

"I wanted to thank you for bringing me back, Toushirou. I'm sorry if I caused you any…"

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho, Kurosaki," he said, interrupting her, "and you do not need to thank me. I would have done the same for any of my subordinates."

His words stung her. _"He's angry," she thought._

"Toushi…I mean, Hitsugaya-taicho, I'm sorry," she said. "I knew you would be angry when you learned the truth about my actions in Hueco Mundo. I hope you can forgive me."

"I am not angry with you, Kurosaki. I understand why you did what you did." His face was impassive, unreadable.

Karin felt the heat rise in her cheeks. _"Then what is the matter with him?" she thought, as hurt began to turn to anger inside her._

"I don't understand," she said, looking at him as though he had lost his mind.

"What do you not understand, Kurosaki?"

"Stop calling me that, Toushirou," she said, her voice rising as her anger grew.

"It would be inappropriate for a commanding officer to address you otherwise," he said, matching her gaze.

She did not even try to hide her shock. "If you're not angry with me about what I did in Hueco Mundo, then why are you pretending that nothing happened between us?"

Hitsugaya said nothing, but looked back down at the papers on his desk.

"Dammit, Toushirou, look at me!" yelled Karin. He looked up slowly, his expression unchanged.

"You told me you loved me," she said, fighting the urge to hit him, "were you lying? Was that just a joke?"

Hitsugaya did not get the chance to respond. At that moment, Higa walked into the office, a stack of papers in her arms. Seeing Karin standing there, Higa said quickly, "I'm so sorry for interrupting, Hitsugaya-taicho, Kurosaki-san. I'll come back later."

"It's not a problem, Higa. Kurosaki and I are finished."

Karin bowed quickly and left the office without saying another word.

**************************************

Hitsugaya watched Karin leave. As he did so, it occurred to him how many times before she had left his office just like this. Angry. Hurt.

"_It's better this way," he thought, trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing. "What good would it do to admit I love her? She loves him, not me."_

For the first time in a long time, Hitsugaya allowed himself to experience the pain of loss. The feeling was so intense, it hurt him physically. But in spite of the pain, or perhaps because of it, he felt truly alive for the first time in years. Karin had given him back his soul.


	21. Mediation

Chapter Twenty-One: Mediation

Karin sat on a bench in the large courtyard outside of the dormitories. It was a beautiful evening, but she hadn't noticed. Her first day back at the Academy had not been an easy one, and she could not get the memory of her confrontation with Hitsugaya out of her mind.

The morning had started as expected. Karin met Kazu and Jiro for breakfast. On her way to class afterwards, she noticed plenty of heads turn in her direction. The whispers and stares had not fazed her. This was no different than when she had first arrived at the Academy, more than a year ago.

Her performance in class, however, left her feeling tired and defeated. Karin had missed nearly every target in Kido. Zanpakuto practice had gone just as badly. She had been unfocused, and had passed up nearly every opportunity that had presented itself during her sparring match. It had been a decisive loss.

The thing that bothered Karin the most, however, was that she had not heard Masumi's voice since she returned from Hueco Mundo. She could feel his presence, but it was as if they were out of sync. She felt alone.

"I told you I wasn't going to let you wallow."

"Hey, Renji," said Karin, forcing a smile.

"Heard you had a rough day," he said.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"I have my spies," Renji replied with a grin. "Besides, it's written all over your face." Karin said nothing.

"You're coming with me, Kurosaki," he said, after a moment. He put his hand on her elbow and pulled her up from the bench.

"Where are we going?" she asked, surprised.

"You'll see," he said with a smirk.

Fifteen minutes later, Karin stood inside a cave near the old execution grounds, looking out at an enormous practice field - a self-contained world that looked just like some of the outlying areas Karin had seen on her mission beyond the Rukongai.

"What is this place?" she asked with wonder. "It looks just like the practice area under Urahara's store."

"No coincidence there," replied Renji, clearly pleased with himself. "Ichigo and I trained here before the war."

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked, pretty sure she knew the answer.

"We're going to train together," he said, matter-of-factly. "Nothing like a little training to get your head straight."

"Renji," said Karin, "I don't know, I mean…"

"No excuses. No more guilt, and no more wallowing, Kurosaki," he said, cutting her off. "You're really good. You're probably as strong as your brother. You just need a good kick in the ass."

Karin laughed._ "Why not?" she thought, looking around._ The idea of training with someone of Renji's caliber intrigued her.

"Okay," she said, after a moment.

"That was easier that I thought," said Renji, grinning broadly.

"It wasn't a hard choice," she said, "given my performance today."

"We'll fix that," he said, drawing his zanpakuto.

"You want to train now?" she asked, surprised.

"No time like the present," he said, and, using shunpo, he moved quickly to the top of the nearest cliff. Karin drew her sword.

*********************************************

The next evening, and every evening for several weeks after that, Karin and Renji spent training together. Karin had little time to sleep, but sparring with Renji was the highlight of her day. Each day, she became more and more confident in her abilities.

More importantly, Karin had begun to hear Masumi's voice again. Even so, she had been unable to recreate the attack that had killed Tancredo, and she was frustrated. She and Renji had tried many approaches, but none of them had worked.

"Renji, how do you reach bankai?" she asked him one night after a particularly grueling workout.

Renji thought for a moment. "That depends, I guess" he said. "You've gotta have the power, of course. But each zanpakuto spirit is different."

"Ichigo told me he fought Zangetsu for days before he achieved bankai," remembered Karin.

"Yeah, and he did it right here," he said, smiling as he remembered. "So did I."

"I can't imagine fighting Masumi," said Karin, thinking out loud.

"Like I said, every spirit is different. But you won't even get close if you don't train," he said, drawing Zabimaru. "Time to work."

Karin jumped out of the way as Renji swung Zabimaru in an arc. Then she planted her feet on the ground and focused her energy on the spot where Renji stood. Spirals of orange light grew from the hilt of her zanpakuto towards where him. He moved quickly out of the way, and the attack hit the ground.

"Your attack doesn't have the power it had before," said Renji. "You're still holding back."

"Dammit," she said, frustrated, "I just don't understand."

"_What am I missing, Masumi?" she asked. "I remember focusing my reiatsu, I remember the river."_

"_You retrace your steps, Karin, but you do not walk in them," replied Masumi._

"_I just don't understand, sensei," thought Karin._

"_Your strength lies in your empathy, Karin," said Masumi, patiently. "You cannot fight without feeling."_

_Karin did not reply._

"_Karin," said Masumi, after a pause, "you cannot will yourself to forget him. You cannot shield yourself from pain. It is not in your nature."_

_In her mind's eye, Karin saw the small child with silver hair, alone in the train station. She felt his pain, his fear. She remembered the touch of his small hand in hers._

_Then she remembered the grown man. The touch of his lips on hers. The way his arms had held her close. She remembered his words, "I love you." She remembered fear, seeing him broken on the ground, and her relief when she realized he was still alive._

_Then she remembered the pain of his words. How they had cut her to her soul. The pain was there, hidden deep within. She had hidden it there._

_Karin opened her eyes. Her face was wet. "I understand now," she thought, blinking away the tears. "I pushed my feelings away, Masumi, and when I did, I pushed you away, too."_

"It's getting late, Karin," said Renji from up top the nearest rock face, "you need some rest."

"One more time, Renji," she said, her voice now firm, determined. "I want to try one more time."

"Sure," said Renji, readying himself.

Karin focused her reiatsu on her katana, willing the orange spirals to grow larger and larger. She reached into her soul, and with all the strength she had, she called to the voices within, feeling their strength supporting hers. Wind began to swirl around her feet, rising into the air. She could feel her skin tingle with the energy, bound up in the blowing air. She aimed at the base of the rocks where Renji stood, watching her.

White light mixed with red and orange and coalesced into a wide beam of energy, hitting the rocks. Just as in Hueco Mundo, the rocks were briefly illuminated, glowing like the sun. And then, without sound, they suddenly vanished, an afterimage of light in their place. And then it, too, was gone. Renji, now suspended in mid-air where the rocks had once been, landed lightly on the ground where the cliff had once been.

"You did it, Karin!" he said, laughing. "You finally managed to recreate the attack!" She ran to him and hugged him. He swung her around, elated.

"Thank you, Renji," she said, looking at him, "you're incredible!" He looked into her face and saw the excitement and happiness there. She looked so beautiful, so alive. He pulled her to him and kissed her.

Karin froze. He looked down at her, pulling away slightly. Her face, which had been full of joy moments before, now reflected something much different. Sadness.

"I'm sorry, Renji," she said softly, "I can't…"

"It's okay, Karin," he said, forcing a smile.

"No, it's not okay," she said. " You've been so good to me. You're my best friend…" Her voice trailed off, and she looked away.

"It's him, isn't it?" he said. It was more a statement than a question. "Hitsugaya. You love him. Don't you Karin?"

She was silent.

"Lucky man," he said, with a sigh.

***************************************

Renji left Karin at the Academy. The moon was nearly full, and shadows from the trees fell across the grounds. He arrived at the Tenth Division minutes later. He knew if he took his time, he would lose his resolve. He had to do this. For her.

Hitsugaya was standing at the window of his office, looking out over the garden when Renji walked in. Sensing Renji's presence, he turned around. As always, his face was glacial, controlled.

"_He doesn't deserve her," thought Renji, bitterly. _

"Abarai-fukutaicho," said Hitsugaya. Renji nodded curtly. "What can I do for you?"

"What did you say to her?" demanded Renji, his tone harsher than he had intended.

"What did I say to whom?" came the response.

"Karin." Renji saw something flash through Hitsugaya's eyes. Pain?

"I've said nothing out of the ordinary to her," Hitsugaya replied.

"You hurt her, Hitsugaya," growled Renji.

"That was certainly not my intention."

"What is it with you, anyhow?" Renji's stomach was tight with anger. "You didn't even visit her in the Fourth. She saved our lives. You owe her your life!"

Hitsugaya said nothing. Renji's face was now red with anger.

"Damn you, Hitsugaya," he said under his breath. "You don't even know how much you hurt her, do you?"

"Then she is fortunate to have you to take care of her," he said, coolly.

"It's not me she's in love with," said Renji, his eyes locked on Hitsugaya's. What he saw in there astounded him. _"He has no idea," he thought._

"You really don't understand, do you Hitsugaya?" he said, willing himself not to turn around and walk out. It would have been so easy. _"I'm doing this for her, not me," he reminded himself._

"Understand what, Abarai?" Hitsugaya's face of stone was beginning to show cracks.

"That she's in love with you!" said Renji. And then, more understanding. "All this time, you thought she wanted me? I wish."

More silence.

"You bastard," said Renji. "You don't even care what you put her through, do you?"

Again, no response.

Renji could not control himself anymore. He punched Hitsugaya hard on the chin. It felt good.

"You really don't deserve her," Renji said, walking out of the office. _"And I'll kill you if you hurt her again," he thought._

*********************************

Midnight at the Academy, and Karin was still wide awake. She'd been staring out of her window since she had returned from training with Renji.

"_Renji," she thought, "I'm so sorry."_

Her room felt stuffy. She needed to get out, breathe fresh air. Walk. Think.

The air outside was cool, but the moon was bright and lit the deserted Seireitei streets. Karin wandered around, not paying attention to where she was going. Without thinking, she ended up at the small park Renji had taken her to nearly a year ago. She liked this place at night. It was quiet, and when she lay down on the benches, she could see the stars clearly.

Laying there, looking up at the sky, she felt tiny. Childlike. For the first time in her life, she had run from her feelings, instead of accepting them. Embracing them.

"_Never again," she thought._

"Karin."

She sat up quickly. She had not felt his presence.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," she said, adopting the same stiff tone he had used with her more than a week before.

"Toushirou," he said.

"No." She would not let herself be taken in again. "Please leave," she said, simply.

"I will," he said, "after I've said what I came here to say."

"Then say it."

"I was afraid of losing you, Karin."

She said nothing.

"You made me feel, Karin. I had forgotten how."

She hesitated for a moment, then turned to leave. He put his hand on her shoulder to stop her, "Karin."

She rounded on him, her temper getting the best of her, "I don't care, Toushirou. Not anymore."

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said. "I was an idiot."

"It doesn't matter anymore," she said, her anger now replaced by sadness. "I'll always be grateful for what you did for me, but…"

"I love you, Karin. I meant it then. I mean it now."

"We're too different, Toushirou. I know that now," she said. And with that, she left him, standing there, under the stars.

**********************************

Despite the events of the night before, Renji met Karin at the training grounds the next evening to practice. As anticipated, her demeanor had changed. It was not, however, the change he had expected to see.

Karin was no longer distracted, but she did not seem particularly happy, either. Resigned, perhaps. Despite that, her skill with her zanpakuto continued to increase, as did the manifestation of her powers. Renji was now convinced that, in years to come, she would achieve bankai.

Inwardly, Renji still seethed with anger at Hitsugaya. He knew his anger was, in part, because he was jealous of the man. Still, he could not get over how completely and utterly clueless Hitsugaya had been about Karin. Other than his own captain, Renji could not think of another person who kept as tight a reign over his emotions, or who was as out of touch with the emotions of others.

Two weeks after his confrontation with Hitsugaya, Renji ran into Matsumoto at a Rukongai bar. She was, at least for the time being, alone. Grabbing a bottle of sake from the bartender, Renji sat down next to her at a small table.

"Hey, Rangiku," he said, depositing the fresh bottle on the table as he sat, "mind if I join you?"

She laughed. "As if you'd take no for an answer!" Renji poured them both a round.

"How's life at the Tenth?" he asked casually. "I've been meaning to stop by and see you, but…"

"You've been a little busy," she said, interrupting. "I've heard."

"What exactly have you heard?" he asked, pouring himself another.

"That you've been training with Karin," she said, watching him for his reaction.

"Who'd you hear that from?" asked Renji, slightly surprised.

"I don't kiss and tell, Renji." He laughed.

"I also heard you and Hitsugaya-taicho had a little talk," she said with a knowing smile. "Rumor has it you punched him."

"I don't hit and tell," Renji replied, solemnly. Matsumoto laughed and refilled their cups.

"He went to see her after you talked. I don't think it went well," she said, her smiled fading slightly.

"Idiot," he said.

"What you did took a lot of guts, Renji," she said, putting her hand on his. "I know how you feel about her."

"Eh," he said, "no big deal." He took a large swig from the sake bottle.

Several minutes went by in silence. Renji stared at the sake bottle, deep in thought. And then it came to him.

"Hey, Rangiku," he said, swallowing hard, "I need you to do me a favor."

"You know I'd do anything for you, Renji," she said, with an evil grin. "Does this favor have anything to do with a certain cadet at the Academy?"

"It might," said Renji, his eyes full of mischief. "I've got an idea."


	22. Change of Heart

Chapter Twenty-Two: Change of Heart

Karin arrived early for the next evening's practice. The cadets had been given several days off so the instructors could complete their evaluations for the end of the grading period. Karin had left the school the minute she could, eager to get away. She was planning on stopping by to see Ichigo after practice and staying with him or Rukia instead of heading back to the dorms.

Once inside the practice grounds, Karin walked over to the area where a small stream cut through a field of boulders , ending in a small waterfall and pool at the bottom of a sloping hill. Finding a comfortable spot to sit, she hiked up her hakama pants, took her tabi socks and sandals off and dipped her feet in the cool water.

She had fond childhood memories of dipping her toes in the fountain at the town park in Karakura. Ichigo, she remembered, used to jump up and down in the water, trying his best to soak Yuzu. One time, Yuzu's favorite doll had gotten wet and Yuzu had started to cry. Karin had given Ichigo a swift kick in a particularly sensitive spot, and he had never done it again.

"Feel good?" came a voice from behind her. She jumped up, startled.

"What are you doing here?"

"Filling in for Renji," said Hitsugaya, a glint in his eye.

"Not interested, Hitsugaya-taicho," she replied stonily, putting her socks and sandals back on and picking up Masumi.

"Afraid?" he said.

"Why would I be?" she asked, scowling. The look instantly reminded Hitsugaya of Ichigo.

"Good question," he replied, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"I don't have anything to say to you, Hitsugaya-taicho," she said, turning to leave.

"I'm not interested in talking, Kurosaki. I came to see how good you are."

Hitsugaya shunpoed onto the largest boulder and drew his zanpakuto. "Souten ni zase, Hyorinmaru!" He aimed a stream of ice directly where Karin stood.

The old competitive spirit of Karin's childhood began to awaken. Karin wanted nothing more than to show him she couldn't be pushed around. That she didn't need him.

"Hado thirty-one, Shakkahou!" she shouted, moving quickly out of the line of attack. The blast hit the rock Hitsugaya was standing on, vaporizing it. When the air cleared, she did not see him.

"Looking for me?" he asked, now directly behind her. She spun around, and the blades of their weapons met with a resounding clang.

"_Damn," she thought, "he's faster than Renji." _

Using shunpo, she retreated several yards and yelled, "Hado thirty-three, Soukatsui!" Blue light shot towards him, but Hitsugaya was ready. The ice that came from his weapon this time formed a temporary shield. When the spell hit the ice, the ice melted on contact and the spell dissolved along with it.

"Nice work, Kurosaki," he said, "but you're going to need more than that to defeat me."

"_Masumi," thought Karin, "let's show him what we can do." _

"Soar, Masumi!" Karin shouted, releasing her shikai. She lifted Masumi over her head, then pointed the blade so that it was parallel to the ground. A wide band of orange light spread out from both sides of the glinting surface like a searchlight, getting wider the further away from Karin it traveled. Karin closed her eyes and reached inside herself, tapping into the energy from the souls. Then, using her free hand, she pushed down on Masumi's hilt, creating a wave of movement in the light.

Hitsugaya, momentarily transfixed by the beauty of the attack, hesitated too long. _"Now!" thought Karin_. A shockwave of energy traveled through the light and hit the stunned Hitsugaya. He flew back hundreds of yards, hitting the base of a rocky outcropping, a pile of rocks and dirt tumbling down onto him.

"_What the hell was that?!" he thought, righting himself and tightening his grip on Hyorinmaru._

"Impressive," he said out loud as he dusted himself off.

"_She's strong," he thought, "and she's gotten even stronger since we got back. But she favors long-range attacks. Time to change my strategy."_

Karin watched intently as Hitsugaya began to move towards her. Using Masumi, she shot off several bursts of fiery orange energy. Hitsugaya easily dodged or deflected the attacks. At one point, Karin had to jump quickly out of the way to avoid being hit by her own rebounding blast.

He was coming closer now, zig-zagging using shunpo, moving so quickly, it was impossible to hit him. _"He wants to fight me at close range," she thought. _

"_You know what to do, Karin," she heard Masumi say. _Karin pointed Masumi skyward, stood completely still and closed her eyes again.

Hitsugaya's surprise was evident. He had expected her to retreat, keep her distance. _"What is she up to?" he thought. _He was now no more than five yards away from her.

Wind, red as the setting sun, began to swirl around Karin's feet. Hitsugaya could feel the force of it, pushing him backwards as he struggled to move closer to her. As the wind became stronger, the bands of colored light took on a deeper hue. The wind was solidifying, now translucent. It hit him on the face like the slap of a hand, and he backed away in surprise. He would not get any closer to her like this.

Karin opened her eyes, the bands of red still whipping around her, blowing her hair in all directions. Untouched by the growing storm around her, Karin now slowly brought Masumi down from above her head and pointed it directly at Hitsugaya.

"Now, Masumi!" shouted Karin, and a blast of red and orange flew away from her, like a whip, towards Hitsugaya. At the same moment, Hitsugaya flung Hyorimaru backwards and forwards, sending a writhing stream of ice towards Karin.

The two attacks met between them, and there was a sound like glass shattering. Ice crystals, sharp as knives, flew up in the air and began to rain down on them. Hitsugaya threw himself onto Karin, pushing her out of the way, and the two of them rolled down an embankment and landed solidly at the side of the stream where Karin had earlier dipped her feet.

They lay on their backs, next to each other, trying to catch their breath. "I didn't need rescuing," she said from between gritted teeth. "I could have easily melted the ice."

She wanted to hit him, except that he looked so comical, his silver hair flecked with bits of rock, his haori soaking wet. She almost laughed, remembering the first time she had seen him in the Soul Society - perfectly dry despite the driving rain. Now, here he lay, the man who always tried to maintain perfect control over everything, looking like a filthy, drowned rat. The irony was not lost on her.

Hitsugaya inwardly kicked himself for letting his chivalrous instincts take over. He knew now that she was far stronger than he had ever given her credit. He watched her, laying there, covered with dirt, strands of hair stuck to her face, and her clothes dripping wet from the melted ice.

In spite of himself, Hitsugaya reached over and brushed one of the strands of hair out of Karin's eyes. The touch of his fingers against her face was electric. She pulled away from him.

"You've gotten much stronger, Karin," he said, fighting the temptation to push another strand of hair from her face. Even now, covered in dirt, her hair matted and wet, he could not take his eyes off of her.

"I've gotta go," said Karin uncomfortably, standing up quickly and dusting herself off. She wiped her face on her sleeve and pushed her hair back. Her face still tingled where he had touched her. She was quickly losing her resolve.

"You're still holding back when you fight. What are you afraid of?" he asked, standing up as well.

"Nothing," she said, regaining her composure.

"I don't believe you," he said, looking directly at her. "You are afraid, Karin, I can see it in your eyes."

She glared at him, but said nothing.

"You're afraid of appearing weak," he said. "Afraid your gifts will not be accepted here."

"You're wrong, Toushirou," she said, angrily, "I've grown stronger."

"That's true, Karin," said Hitsugaya, "but you are still not fighting with all your strength."

"My 'gifts', as you call them, nearly got us killed in Hueco Mundo," she said, guilt rising like bile in her throat. "I helped the hollows, and look what happened."

"There is no weakness in caring about others," he said. "You taught me that, although it took me much too long to realize it."

Karin was silent.

"You're right that shinigami are afraid they are no better than hollows," said Hitsugaya. "Your gifts prove that humanity exists in all souls, whole or hollow. That is difficult for shinigami to accept.

"But what shinigami don't understand is that humanity makes us stronger," he continued. "It is what makes your brother so powerful. It is the same with you. I can feel it."

"_Is he right, Masumi?" wondered Karin silently. "Is that what you meant when you said my true strength was my empathy, my ability to touch the humanity in both wholes and hollows?"_

Karin did not know what to say. His words had touched her deeply, although she would not admit it.

"Thank you for letting me train with you, Karin," said Hitsugaya, as he picked Hyorinmaru up and turned to leave. "And thank you for helping me find peace, after all these years."

She watched him walk away and out of the cave, leaving her alone. She sat own on a patch of grass and looked up at the non-existent sky. _"Urahara forgot the stars," she thought, sadly._ Her heart ached.

"_Am I afraid?" she wondered as she lay there. _

"_You already know the answer, Karin," she heard Masumi say._

*******************************

Hitsugaya arrived back at the Tenth Division a short time later. Matsumoto raised an eyebrow and smiled when she saw him walk past her, filthy and wet, on the way back to his quarters.

Once in the shower, he closed his eyes, feeling the water hit his skin. It had been one of the hardest things he had ever done, leaving Karin at the training grounds. Still he knew, instinctively, that he had done everything he could. She would have to come to him of her own accord. The thought that she might never come was more painful than he imagined it could be.

He toweled off and threw on a kimono. He opened the sliding doors that led to a small garden at the side of the house. The wind blew gently on his face, and he leaned against the door frame, looking at the clear sky with its many stars. How long had it been since he had appreciated the simple beauty of a starry night? He couldn't remember. _"Has she changed me that much?" he wondered._

He sat down on the floor, his feet resting on the steps that led out to the garden. The night was quiet, peaceful.

There was a knock on the door. Matsumoto, surely, come to see how her suggestion that he fill in for Renji had turned out. He laughed to himself. Her curiosity always got the best of her.

"Come," he said.

"Toushirou." It was not Matsumoto. He knew it even before he heard her voice. He had felt her reiatsu.

"Karin," he said, standing up and turning around to face her.

"You were right," she said. "I was afraid. I…am afraid."

She walked towards him. _"He really has changed," she thought. _He stood perfectly still as she put her hands on his face. And for the first time, Karin looked into his soul and felt it at peace. _"Did I really do that?" she thought, as she stood, looking into his eyes. _

"I love you Toushirou," she said, her hands still on his face. She kissed him gently on the lips. He put his arms around her and held her, close to him, her head against his chest. She could hear his breath, feel his heart beat. It was sweet pain, holding her like this. Still, he knew she needed to be the one to take the next step.

"I'm glad you came, Karin," he said.

She pulled away from him so she could look into his eyes again. She ran her hands through his hair and down his neck and shoulders, all the while still looking into his eyes. Then she pushed back the fabric of the kimono he wore to reveal his shoulders, with their powerful muscles - the muscles of a true swordsman. She ran her hands down his arms, and the kimono fell to his waist. Her hair brushed against his chest, and she heard him inhale deeply.

She looked back up at his face and ran her hands down the smooth skin of his back. He kissed her and, for a moment, she thought she might drown in the scent of him. His hands slipped inside the top of her uniform and she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his fingers on her skin.

"Karin, you are so beautiful," said Hitsugaya, "I was a fool to push you away." He kissed her face, her neck, her shoulders. Then he gently pushed back the top of her uniform and they held each other, skin against skin. After a few minutes, he took her hand in his and led her to his room.

Karin was amazed at how much more heightened her senses were here than in the Real World. It was as if, by abandoning her body, she had opened herself up to the true essence of what it meant to join with another person. Not only did she experience the physical pleasure of their union, but she felt the joining of his reiatsu with hers.

As they lay there afterwards, their bodies intertwined, Karin said, softly, "Promise me something, Toushirou."

"What?" he asked.

"Promise me that you won't hide your feelings from me, that you'll be honest with me."

"I promise," he said, and she could see that he meant it.

"Good," she said, the edges of her mouth turning up in a smile as she said it. "Because if you ever lie to me again, I'll…"

He kissed her soundly on the lips, laughing as he did so. He had never been so happy.

*******************************

The morning sun came flooding through the windows. Karin rolled over to avoid the light and put her head on Hitsugaya's chest. His body felt warm next to hers and she smiled as she remembered the night before.

He responded to her touch by putting his arms around her and gathering her closer to him. He kissed her shoulder and ran one of his hands through her long hair. He felt her fall asleep on his chest and he watched her in wonder.

"_I'd die if I ever lost her again," he thought to himself. _The depth of his feelings for her frightened him and, at the same time, gave him a sense of peace.

The light from the morning sun flickered slightly, and he looked towards the window, expecting to see a stray cloud pass by the sun. Instead, he saw something that sent a slight shiver down his back. A lone black butterfly, which floated in the window and landed on his hand.

Karin awoke with a start, sensing the change in Hitsugaya's emotions. She saw the butterfly and looked into Hitsugaya's eyes.

"What is it?" she asked, wanting to know, but fearing his answer.

"The Arrancar. Hundreds of them. Outside the Rukongai."


	23. Battle Lines

Chapter Twenty-Three: Battle Lines

Hitsugaya and Karin showered and dressed quickly. "I have to report to the First Division for orders," he said. "You must go back to the Academy, immediately."

"I want to go with you," she said.

"I know," he said, pulling her close to him. "But I am not your captain any more. The protocol in this type of emergency is for you to report back to your superiors at the Academy. Your skill will be needed there."

He kissed her deeply and, as he let her go, he said, "We'll see each other soon, Karin. Until then, be safe."

He grabbed his zanpakuto and, in a flash, was gone. Karin watched him leave with a growing sense of dread.

****************************

Hitsugaya sped towards the First Division and the place where the Gotei 13 captains gathered. _"What do the Arrancar want?" he wondered._ He feared for Karin's safety. _"They have plenty of reasons to want her back," he thought, "or want her dead."_ Either prospect was terrifying. He wanted her nowhere near the Arrancar.

"_She'll be safe in the Seireitei at the Academy," he thought with some relief. _He was thankful that she was no longer in one of the Gotei squads and likely to end up on the front lines of a battle.

Hitsugaya joined the ranks of the other captains lined up for orders from Yamamoto. Ichigo and Rukia entered a minute later, and Ichigo walked immediately over to Hitsugaya.

"Where's Karin?," he asked, clearly thinking along the same lines as Hitsugaya, "No one's seen her since last night."

"She's fine, Kurosaki," Hitsugaya replied, "I just left her. She's on her way back to the Academy. She'll be safe there."

Ichigo looked surprised. He was just about to ask why Hitsugaya would have seen Karin so early in the morning, when the Captain-Commander entered the room. The captains immediately took their places. Hitsugaya was thankful he didn't have to explain.

"An hour ago," said Yamamoto-Genryuusai, "a large group of Arrancar were spotted outside the Rukongai. They are reported to be advancing. At their current speed, they will enter the Rukongai within six hours."

"Given their use in the past of a weapon similar to the Kanzen-Saimin, only seated officers will be dispatched to the Arrancars' location until we know more," continued Yamamoto. "With the exception of the Third and Seventh Divisions, all captains and vice-captains will immediately accompany a squad of twelve seated officers to the area where the Arrancar are located. The Third and Seventh Divisions will remain behind to guard the Seireitei. Understood?"

The captains nodded, solemnly, with the exception of Zaraki Kenpachi, always ready for a fight, whose eyes were lit with the promise of battle.

"Dismissed."

Hitsugaya caught Ichigo's eye and the two men hung back as the other captains filed out of the room. "Do you think they're after Karin?" Ichigo asked in a low voice.

"I don't know," replied Hitsugaya, as they walked out of the First Division. "If they were, why attack near the Rukongai? Revenge?"

"Maybe," replied Ichigo.

"She'll be safe at the Academy," said Hitsugaya, trying to convince himself as well as Ichigo. "There are plenty of captain-level shinigami there, and the enemy does not appear to be interesting in attacking the Seireitei."

"You haven't explained why you saw her this morning, Toushirou," said Ichigo, his eyes searching Hitsugaya's face. Then, finding the answer he was looking for in Hitsugaya's eyes, Ichigo said, "If you hurt her, you'll have me to answer to."

"I will protect her with my life, Kurosaki," replied Hitsugaya, deadly serious.

************************************

Karin sped through the Seireitei streets using shunpo, arriving back at the Academy a short time later. She was surprised at how empty the school was. A few upper classmen had been stationed at the front gates, but Karin met few cadets on the grounds as she walked to the main classroom building.

She found Kazu, Jiro and a few of her fellow squad members gathered in a corner of the large courtyard used for practice and demonstrations. Ishikawa Kenta, their squad leader, looked up at Karin and nodded. "Glad to see you, Kurosaki, we weren't sure you had gotten the word."

"What's happening, Ishikawa-sama?" asked Karin, looking around at the students gathering. "Where is everyone?"

"Students who went home over the break period were told to stay with their families," said Ishikawa. "Just as a precaution, the Seireitei has been put on alert. The Academy has been instructed to render any assistance we can to the remaining court guard divisions, should there be any need."

"What do you mean, 'remaining court guard divisions?'" Karin asked, afraid of the answer.

"The Captain Commander has sent all but the Third and Seventh Division captains and their ranked officers to fight the Arrancar," replied Ishikawa. Karin knew that meant Ichigo, Hitsugaya, Rukia, Rangiku and Renji had been sent to the front.

"So we're just supposed to wait here and do nothing?" asked Karin, uncomprehending.

"The Academy is part of the command structure of the Seireitei," Ishikawa reminded her. "Our duty is to assist in protecting the Seireitei and its inhabitants. That is a worthy assignment, Kurosaki." Karin started to say something, but thought better of it.

"_Yamamoto is worried about the Arrancars' weapon," she thought. "He's sending only the strongest shinigami to fight."_ She wasn't sure how she felt about the Captain-Commander's choice. It was the right decision, from a military perspective. Still, the thought of so many of the people she cared about risking their lives while she was stuck at the Academy, waiting for news, was difficult to bear.

"The Headmaster has asked our squad to assist in patrolling the grounds," said Ishikawa, now addressing the group. "Kurosaki Karin, take Suzuki Hina, Murata Kazu and Takahashi Jiro to patrol the wooded area at the back of the main complex. The rest of you are with me. We'll be patrolling the gardens near the front."

"Yes, sir," came a chorus of students.

"If you spot anything unusual, report it immediately to one of the upperclassmen or teachers guarding the perimeter of the school. Don't take any chances. Call someone to assist," finished Ishikawa, and he headed out of the courtyard, followed by three students.

"Let's go," said Karin, happy to be doing something. Kazu and Jiro followed. Hina, however, stood where she was, looking irritated.

"And why are you in charge, Kurosaki?" said Hina, whipping her hair around in typical fashion.

"She's the only one of us with any combat experience at all," said Kazu, with pride.

"Rumor has it she was the cause of the fighting to begin with," said Hina, petulantly.

"You're welcome to stay here, Hina. I'll let you explain to Ishikawa why you didn't follow orders," said Karin, refusing to take the bait. "High school is over. It's time to grow up." Hina looked at Karin as if she had spoken in a foreign language. _"Apparently there are no high schools here, either," thought Karin, fighting back a grin._

Hina glared at Karin, but she followed them out the courtyard. Karin silently wondered if Ishikawa hadn't assigned Hina to her group as a lesson in patience.

***************************

Hitsugaya and Matsumoto arrived at the edge of the Rukongai. They had gone ahead of the other Tenth Division shinigami to forward scout the area for Arrancar. Yamamoto needed to determine how far the line of Arrancar troops extended. Hitsugaya also hoped to gather intelligence as to why the Arrancar had invaded the Soul Society.

The rolling hills to which they were assigned were heavily wooded. Mountains rose in the distance. They traveled by foot, rather than air, so as not to alert the Arrancar of their presence. It was slow going.

"I saw Karin leaving your quarters this morning," said Matsumoto as they made their way through the forest.

"And?" said Hitsugaya, smiling to himself. If he had to listen to her talk, he was determined not to make this easy on her.

"And I was wondering if you two finally made up," she said, not even trying to hide her curiosity.

"If you saw her leaving this morning," he replied, "then you should already have your answer, Matsumoto."

"You're so mean, Toushirou," she said with a pout, "after all Renji and I did to…"

"Renji?" he said, interrupting. "What did he have to do with it?"

"It was his idea," she said, smiling at Hitsugaya. "You really didn't know?"

"No," said Hitsugaya, slightly irritated. "You just told me he had something come up at the Sixth, and that I might want to fill in training Karin."

"You men are so dense sometimes," she said, gleefully. "After all Renji's done for you, you should thank him, you know."

"Hmmm," grumbled Hitsugaya. The idea of thanking Renji was about as appealing to him as spending the afternoon shopping for clothing with Matsumoto in the Real World.

"Well you at least owe him…"

"Quiet," said Hitsugaya, cutting her off. "I can sense them. Up ahead." They both drew their zanpakutos and advanced slowly.

Through the trees, three Arrancar were visible. One was sitting down on a fallen tree, and the other two were looking in the opposite direction from where Hitsugaya and Matsumoto stood, watching. They appeared to be low-level foot soldiers, judging by their less human-like appearance. Hitsugaya motioned Matsumoto back, out of earshot of the Arrancar.

"This must be the end of the Arrancar battle line. Go find the rest of the men and tell them there are advance scouts here," said Hitsugaya. "Have them send a message to Yamamoto immediately." Matsumoto nodded.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I'm going to see what I can find out about their battle plan," Hitsugaya replied. "I'll meet you back at the rendezvous point in a few hours."

Matsumoto looked concerned. "I'll be fine, Rangiku," he said, smiling. "Don't worry about me."

She turned and left, using shunpo, and was gone in an instant.

********************************************

The Fifth and Thirteenth Divisions, led by Ichigo and Rukia, joined the Sixth and Eleventh Divisions, led by Byakuya and Kenpachi. The four divisions set out from the Rukongai in a direct line towards the position where center of the Arrancar battle line was thought to be. They would form the front lines of an attack force that would give direct challenge to the Arrancar. Behind them, Yamamoto would coordinate the battle.

Ichigo walked silently next to Rukia. He had said nothing for the better part of an hour now, and Rukia was starting to get irritated.

"You're distracted," she said, her eyes narrowed. "I know you, Ichigo. You're worried about something."

"It's nothing."

"Stupid, it's obviously something," she said, fighting an urge to kick him. "Tell me."

"There's just something I don't understand," he said.

"And what would that be?"

"I don't understand why the Arrancar are out here, in the middle of nowhere. Why not attack the Seireitei? Or the Rukongai?" Ichigo frowned.

"Maybe they thought they'd be less likely to be detected out here," said Rukia. "And if their goal is to enter the Rukongai, they are well positioned."

"What do they want in the Rukongai?" asked Ichigo.

"Revenge, perhaps, for your little foray into Hueco Mundo to rescue Karin? The best way to inflict damage in the Soul Society would be to destroy as many souls as possible," replied Rukia. "This is where they entered before, when Karin's squad encountered them."

"Yeah," said Ichigo. "I guess that makes sense."

"But you don't believe it, do you?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," he replied. "In Hueco Mundo, the Arrancar were different than I had expected they'd be. I assumed that, with Aizen gone, they'd be disorganized. It just wasn't like that."

"You really think they're after Karin again, don't you?" Rukia stopped and looked at him. Ichigo was silent. "Why don't you talk to Yamamoto?"

"The old man? He'd never listen. You know him. And even if he did, he'd just tell me that she's perfectly safe where she is." Ichigo scowled.

"What can you do, then? You can't leave your men."

"No," he answered, "of course not."

"Then what?" she asked, frustrated at having to drag it out of him.

"Have you seen your brother?" he asked. She nodded.

"He's about a quarter of a mile behind us," she said, one eyebrow raised.

"I'll catch up with you in a few minutes," Ichigo said, and vanished with a shunpo step. Rukia sighed. _"Here we go again," she thought._

_***********************************************_

Hitsugaya, finding no more Arrancar scouts in the area, slipped by the three Arrancar without being detected. He walked on in the direction he believed the Arrancar had come from, following the slight traces of their reiatsu they had left behind like a trail.

Karin would be long back at the Academy by now. It seemed like weeks, not hours since they had spent the night together. How ironic that they had finally been able to move past their differences, only to be separated, this time by something over which they had no control. _"We wasted so much time," he thought._ There would be more time together, soon, he told himself as he walked on.

Hitsugaya thought about what Matsumoto had said; that it was Renji who had suggested to he train with Karin. _"I was wrong about him," thought Hitsugaya. "He does deserve my thanks."_ There had been no reason for Renji to tell him anything. _"He really cares for her. Enough to let her go."_

There was a rustle of trees in the distance. Hitsugaya froze. He could sense many reiatsus coming from over a ridge. Thirty or forty Arrancar. Several Vasto Lordes. He drew Hyorinmaru. He did not intend to attack, but he wanted to be ready, just in case. He approached them soundlessly. He needed to gather as much information about them as he could.

Hitsugaya crouched on the top of the ridge that overlooked the area where he had felt the Arrancar. Below, he could see sentries, spaced out across the area, watching. He heard voices and, about thirty yards behind the sentries, he saw a group of larger Arrancar and Vasto Lordes engaged in an animated conversation.

Hitsugaya moved closer to the sentries, taking care not to alert them to his presence. He hid behind a group of trees only a few yards away from one of the guards. From his position, he could just make out the words being spoken.

"...and over to the west," said one of the larger Arrancar. He watched the Vasto Lordes intently, looking for approval.

"There is no need for that, Solario," said one of the Vasto Lordes. "Xiomara wants us to remain in this location."

"I don't understand," said the Arrancar, looking confused. "I thought our objective was to enter the Rukongai district. Why would she want us to remain here?"

The Vasto Lorde laughed. "Do you think she would share her objectives with the likes of you? You are deluding yourself."

"What difference does it make now if he knows what her true objective is, Baldomero?" said another of the Vasto Lordes. "It is too late to withdraw."

"If there is time," said Baldomero, "I have no doubt Xiomara would permit them to enter the Rukongai. It would make them stronger to devour more souls."

"But if Xiomara is successful in retrieving the girl, there will be plenty of souls for the taking," said the second. "There are few shinigami who would stand in her way." The words sent shivers down Hitsugaya's spine.

"_This entire battle is a diversion," he thought, fighting back his fear. "They were after her all along." _He had to get back to the Seireitei, to warn her.

Hitsugaya turned to leave and, as he did so, he stepped on a dry tree branch which had fallen on the ground. It broke, making a snapping noise. He was instantly surrounded by at least a dozen Arrancar, weapons drawn.

"What do we have here?" said Baldomero. "A shinigami captain? How unfortunate for you."


	24. Between Rocks and Hard Places

Chapter Twenty-Four: Between Rocks and Hard Places

Karin never fully realized how large the grounds of the Academy were. As she, Kazu, Jiro and Hina walked around, it felt as if they were in their own world, separate and apart from the rest of Seireitei. Since leaving the courtyard, they had seen no other students, save the upperclassman stationed on top of the tall stone wall which surrounded the entire complex.

They walked for what seemed like hours. "Let's take a break," Karin finally said, leaning her zanpakuto against a tree and sitting down on the grass. Hina sat down with a sigh, and the two boys followed suit.

"I'm starving," whined Hina, pouting. Kazu pulled a small bag from around his neck and emptied the contents onto the grass in front of them. Several apples, a few pieces of candy and a couple of wrapped rice balls. Hina grabbed an apple and started to devour it. Kazu handed Karin the other apple.

"Thanks, Kazu," she said, taking it without hesitation. She hadn't eaten since before practice the night before.

"This is a waste of time," said Hina as she finished the apple. "The hollows aren't interested in us. We should go back and see if there's any news about what's happening outside the Rukongai."

"It's only been a few hours, Hina," said Karin, trying hard to hide her frustration. "We need to keep at it until Ishikawa-san tells us otherwise. He'll find us when he needs to."

"Karin's right," said Kazu.

Hina frowned and stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Karin, beginning to lose her patience.

"Back to see what's going on," said Hina, whipping her blond hair as she turned to leave.

Karin stood up, fists clenched. "It's dangerous for you to be on your own. We have no idea whether…"

"Kurosaki," she interrupted, her expression now one of disdain, "what do you, a human, know about anything, anyhow? The hollows haven't stepped foot in the Seireitei in years, let alone the Academy." Hina's pejorative use of the word 'human' was not lost on Karin.

Taking a deep breath, Karin said, "Look, Hina, all I know is that we shouldn't be taking any chances. We'll be safer if we stick together."

"That's just your opinion," replied Hina. "I can make up my own mind." And with a shunpo step, she was gone.

"Damn," said Karin, scowling. "You guys wait here. I'll bring her back. Just stay put, okay?" Kazu and Jiro nodded.

Karin she set off in the direction where Hina had gone. She had been half-tempted to let Hina go. _"Just because she's an immature kid doesn't mean I'm not responsible for her," thought Karin. _Still, Karin had to admit that Hina was probably right - if the Arrancar had really been interested in infiltrating the Seireitei, they wouldn't have attacked miles away.

Karin closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on Hina's reiatsu. It was a skill she had never fully developed. In the Real World where there were few people who possessed strong spiritual energy, it had been easy to distinguish one reiatsu from another. In the Soul Society, Karin found it more challenging.

"Found you!" said Karin, after a few minutes. Hina was about fifty yards ahead, and she was standing still. Using her fastest shunpo, Karin sped towards the place where she had felt Hina. Up ahead, Karin saw a glimpse of blond hair, between the trees.

"Look, Hina," said Karin, as she walked into the clearing, "I understand why you think I'm being overly cautious but…" Karin's voice trailed off as she took in the scene before her.

Six Arrancar stood in the clearing, at least two of whom appeared to be Vasto Lordes. One, a woman, was clearly an Espada, judging by the tattoo partially visible at her neck. Karin had been so preoccupied with finding Hina, she had not even felt their presence.

One of the Arrancar held Hina, the blade of his zanpakuto against her throat. The look on Hina's face was one of pure terror. The Arrancar's blade was too close to Hina's throat for Karin to attack.

"We are looking for Kurosaki Karin," said the Espada, who appeared to be the leader of the group.

"_It's me they've wanted all along," thought Karin. _

"I told you there's no one at the Academy with that name," said Hina, her eyes full of tears.

"It's okay, Hina," Karin said calmly, smiling. "Thank you for trying to protect me."

"No, don't…" Hina started to say, but Karin cut her off.

"I am Kurosaki Karin," she said defiantly.

The Arrancar holding Hina eased up slightly on his grip, and Karin saw her opportunity. "Soar, Masumi!" she yelled, pointing her zanpakuto in the direction of Hina and the Arrancar. A burst of light like fiery sunshine erupted from the end of the blade, illuminating the branches of the trees around them. The Arrancar who had been holding Hina fell to the ground, stunned. Hina ran towards Karin.

The two Vasto Lordes were unaffected by Karin's attack. The Espada aimed her zanpakuto at Hina. "Hado Seventy-three, Tozansho!" yelled Karin. The attack hit the pyramid barrier that appeared around both Karin and Hina, shielding them.

"Hina," yelled Karin, "go find Ishikawa or one of the other instructors. Tell him the battle was a diversion."

"I'm not going to leave you here," said Hina, shaking slightly.

"I'll be fine. Please Hina, I can't keep the barrier up much longer. I'll cover you." Karin looked pleadingly at Hina. After a slight hesitation, Hina nodded. "Go, Hina!" Karin released the barrier and raised aimed her zanpakuto at the two Vasto Lordes. Hina, using shunpo, quickly vanished through the trees.

Karin focused her reiatsu on her zanpakuto. A beam of orange light grew from the surface the blade, growing as it moved away from Karin. As she had done when she had sparred with Hitsugaya, Karin pushed down on Masumi's hilt, sending a wave of movement towards the Vasto Lordes. This time, however, Karin did not hold back, and put all of her power behind the attack.

The Vasto Lorde closest to Karin was thrown backwards dozens of yards, hitting a tree and knocking it to the ground. Karin knew the attack had not killed the Arrancar, but, at least temporarily, there was only the one Espada she would have to face.

"Kurosaki Karin," said the Espada, "you cannot fight us indefinitely. Even if you succeed in defeating us, there are others here, as well. Your only option is surrender."

Karin's response was a well-aimed Kido spell. As expected, however, the Espada was easily able to deflect the spell. By this time, a number of the Arrancar who had been stunned by Karin's shikai had regained consciousness, and were beginning to get to their feet. The second Vasto Lorde was also getting up and shaking off the lingering effects of Karin's zanpakuto.

"_Not good," thought Karin, "I can't fight them all myself."_ She dodged an attack by the Espada, diving onto the ground and rolling as she did so before quickly getting back on her feet.

"Hado four, Byakurai!" came a voice from Karin's left.

"Jiro!" yelled Karin, "what are you…"

"Hado thirty-one, Shakkahou!" Kazu, now, aiming at the same Arrancar as Jiro. The Arrancar fell backwards and was still.

"_They're no match for the Vasto Lordes," thought Karin, "I need to keep these two occupied."_ Karin attempted to draw the two strongest opponents away from her comrades.

"Hado sixty-three, Soren Soukatsui!" shouted Karin, sending a double blast of energy directly at the Espada. It was the most powerful Kido attack Karin knew.

The Espada laughed and tilted the blade of her zanpakuto so that Karin's attack rebounded. Karin dived out of the way of the rebounding spell but, as she did so, she felt a sharp pain in her left arm. The second Vasto Lorde had sent a cero flying at Karin.

Karin looked down and saw that a portion of her Shihakushouwas gone, revealing a large red burn on her upper arm. There was little blood, but the pain was intense.

"_Karin," said Masumi, "let me help you."_ Karin felt a tingling sensation in her arm and felt the pain fade.

"_Thank you, Masumi," thought Karin._

"_It is only temporary," replied Masumi, "I cannot repair your wounds."_

The Espada laughed as she saw the damage her companion's attack had done. "We have orders not to kill you," she said. "However, it is your choice how much of you there will be left when you are captured."

Out of the corner of her eye, Karin saw the second Vasto Lorde aim his zanpakuto in her direction. Karin extended her arm straight out, pointed Masumi at him and rotated her wrist in a circular pattern. Circles of orange fanned out from the blade towards the Arrancar, covering his weapon. He pulled hard, trying to move his zanpakuto, but it would not budge.

Ribbons of orange continued to snake down the second Vasto Lorde's weapon and around his hands, which were now glued to the hilt of his weapon. Karin flicked her wrist, causing her zanpakuto to shudder slightly. The orange strands of light pulled tight against the Arrancar's arms, like ropes. He flew back towards the trees, landing seventy feet from where he had stood, now weaponless.

"Not good enough, shinigami!" yelled the Espada, and she launched an enormous Gran Rey Cero directly at Karin. Karin barely had enough time to dodge the attack when the Espada followed the cero with a blast of red and black fire from the end of her zanpakuto. The second attack hit Karin's right leg, and she fell, face forward, onto the ground.

"Damn," she said, spitting out a mouthful of grass and dirt. She rolled over as quickly as she could. The Espada now stood over Karin, zanpakuto touching her chest. "It's over, Kurosaki Karin."

********************************

In the hills outside the Rukongai, another battle had just begun. Hitsugaya, having found himself surrounded by dozens of Arrancar, drew his zanpakuto. He did not hesitate, but immediately attacked the Arrancar closest to where he stood, dispatching nearly a dozen lower level Arrancar in several minutes with the cold blade of Hyorinmaru.

The Vasto Lordes in the group had withdrawn to a safer distance, choosing to leave the opening salvo in the fight to their subordinates. They were clearly enjoying the show. This strategy pleased Hitsugaya, who knew he had little chance of taking on the more powerful Vasto Lordes if he had to fight off dozens of Arrancar at the same time.

"_I don't need to win," he thought, "I just need to get away and warn the others." _Even so, he knew he had little chance of escaping such a large group of Arrancar on his own.

"Daiguren Hyorinmaru!" he yelled, releasing his bankai. The Arrancar had clearly not expected this escalation so early in the fight, and it momentarily gave Hitsugaya the advantage. The Arrancar, with the exception of Baldomera, backed slightly away to avoid being hit by the massive bankai release. Hitsugaya flew up into the air, between the trees, where he would have more room to maneuver. Baldomera followed, zanpakuto drawn, as did Solario and several of the other, larger Arrancar.

While avoiding the attacks of the other Arrancar, Hitsugaya, using Ryuusenka, succeeded in stabbing a number of the Arrancar in rapid succession, encasing them in ice. The ice shattered, and along with it, five of his opponents. _"It's a start," he thought. _

Hitsugaya looked down through the treetops. There were at least twenty more Arrancar and two Vasto Lordes waiting on the ground, watching the fight unfold above them.

Baldomera laughed, "Not bad, shinigami captain! But you are still far outnumbered." The Arrancar aimed his zanpakuto at Hitsugaya, and a burst of red and black light issued from its tip. Hitsugaya deflected the attack with a flick of a wing, sending it back towards some of his other airborne opponents. At that moment, there was a loud cry from the ground and an explosion which send dirt and debris flying in the air.

Baldomera looked down, momentarily distracted. Hitsugaya did not hesitate. Using Ryuusenka again, he stabbed the Arrancar in his side. Ice surrounded him and then, at Hitsugaya's command, the ice shattered like glass. Only one Vasto Lorde remained, still on the ground. Hitsugaya felt a rush of wind by his side and a familiar reiatsu.

"Thanks, Matsumoto," he said with a smile.

"I thought you might need a little help," she replied, wiping dirt off her face. "After I sent word of the location of the Arrancar troops to Yamamoto, I came back to find you."

"You must find the Captain-Commander and tell him the Arrancar are after Karin," said Hitsugaya, launching another attack with Hyorinmaru as he spoke. "The battle is a ruse."

Matsumoto raised an eyebrow. "Of course, Taicho."

"Before you leave, though, I need a little help here."

"Understood," she said, smiling. "Growl, Haineko!," she shouted, dodging an attack from one of the remaining Arrancar while at the same time releasing her shikai. "Will a few a few minutes be enough?" He nodded.

Matsumoto's zanpakuto, once solid, had now transformed into a cloud of ash. She gestured at the few Arrancar still remaining in the air. Ash in the form of a tornado flew at the Arrancar. They fell and landed on the ground below. Matsumoto flew down and landed on the ground. The remaining Arrancar and Vasto Lordes quickly surrounded her. It was the opening Hitsugaya needed.

Working quickly, Hitsugaya flew around the area where Matsumoto fought the Arrancar, creating pillars of ice at evenly-spaced intervals in a circle around the enemy, pulling moisture from the clouds to manufacture ice. Distracted by Matsumoto, the Arrancar did not notice the enormous ice pillars taking shape around them.

Finally, after about five minutes, Hitsugaya called, "Matsumoto!" A second later, he yelled, "Sennen Hyourou!" and turned his sword counter-clockwise at a ninety degree angle. As Matsumoto flew up into the air, the pillars came crashing down around her. Even those Arrancar who took to the air in response to the collapsing pillars were unable to avoid the prison of ice and froze, and tumbled back downwards, hitting the ground.

"I do love that move," said Matsumoto, now standing next to Hitsugaya in the air, surveying the damage below.

"Find Yamamoto now. Tell him what I learned," said Hitsugaya, wasting no time. "I'm going to the Academy."

"_Please let it not be too late," he thought._


	25. One Step Forward

Chapter Twenty-Five: One Step Forward

Karin swore under her breath. Pinned to the ground by the Espada, she could hear the sounds of a nearby fight – Kazu and Jiro battling the rest of the Arrancar. She took it as a good sign. They were still alive and fighting.

"Drop your weapon," said the Espada, pressing the tip of her zanpakuto to Karin's chest. The point of the weapon cut through the fabric of her uniform and Karin could feel the cold blade against her skin. Karin laid Masumi gently on the ground.

"Now stand up," ordered the Espada, picking up Masumi with her free hand and handing it to her companion. The Espada's companion looked at the zanpakuto, clearly relieved to have a replacement for the weapon Karin had destroyed.

Karin stood up slowly, looking for an opportunity to escape. With the tip of her blade now at Karin's back, the Espada led Karin towards the entrance to the Academy. Up ahead, Karin could see a large grouping of trees, past which there was a small clearing. The sun lit the grass through the trees. There would be room to maneuver there.

As they walked past the trees onto the grass, Karin fell to the ground, rolling quickly behind the Espada. _"Masumi!" _called Karin, momentarily out of reach of the point of the Espada's zanpakuto.

The Espada turned quickly and pointed her zanpakuto directly at Karin, who jumped up as Masumi materialized in her hand. There was a loud clank of metal against metal as the two zanpakutos met. At the same time, the now unarmed Arrancar came at Karin from behind, grabbing her around her throat. Karin redoubled her hold on Masumi and struggled to free herself from the Arrancar's grip.

"Do you wish to die, shinigami?" laughed the Espada, as Karin began to lose consciousness. "One way or another, I will bring you to Xiomara."

"I don't think so," came a familiar voice from behind the Espada.

"Renji," whispered Karin.

There was a flash of steel, and the Arrancar who held Karin released his grip on her and fell to the ground. Karin fell to her knees, gasping for air. In another flash, Renji had grabbed Karin around the waist and moved her out of reach of the Espada.

"Are you okay?" asked Renji, one eye on Karin and the other on the Espada.

"Been better," said Karin, gasping for breath. "Took you long enough."

"A certain orange-haired shinigami captain was worried about you. Told Byakuya he needed a favor," replied Renji with a grin.

"Thanks," said Karin, looking up at him, as her voice returned.

"Any thoughts about this one?" asked Renji, eyeing the Espada who now stood fifteen yards from them, zanpakuto aimed in their direction.

Karin stood up, her strength returning quickly. "I think a little teamwork is in order, teacher," she said, grinning. Renji nodded and, in a flash step, was on the other side of the clearing.

"Howl, Zabimaru!" he yelled and swung his zanpakuto towards the spot where the Espada stood.

"Hado thirty-one, Shakkahou!" shouted Karin, her voice slightly hoarse but strong.

The Espada growled in anger and dodged both attacks with ease. "Do not underestimate me, shinigami!" she yelled as she flew into the air above them.

Karin felt a gust of cold wind as the Espada lifted her zanpakuto in the air. Gusts of air streaked with gold and black lit the sky over where they stood. Then, just as quickly, the wind died completely and Karin could see the outline of the Espada against the sunny sky. Like a griffin, her body resembled a lion, while her head had taken on a birdlike quality. She sported sharp claws and a gold tail that ended in a barbed point. Her zanpakuto, now doubled in size, gave off wisps of gold which looked like steam rising in the sunlight.

Karin glanced at Renji. "Soar, Masumi!" she shouted, releasing her shikai. The Arrancar aimed her zanpakuto at Karin. Gold haze shot from the weapon, the force of which nearly knocked Karin off her feet.

"Hado Seventy-three, Tozansho!" Karin yelled, blocking the unknown attack. The barrier held briefly, then disintegrated.

Renji swung Zabimaru over his head several times, the many-sectioned blade extended to its fullest. With a quick turn of his wrist, the snaking links flew skywards, encircling the Espada like a net. Again, Renji moved his wrist quickly about, and the zanpakuto began to close around the place where the Espada stood. There was a flash of gold light from the spot where the Espada had once been, and then the crashing sounds of metal hitting metal.

"Shit," cursed Renji, under his breath as he reeled in the sections of metal.

Karin turned to find herself face to face with the Espada. Their two zanpakutos met. The power of the Espada's blade was immense, and Karin struggled to remain standing under the weight of it.

Karin called upon the river of souls, gathering their strength to her. As she did so, Masumi's blade was illuminated, glowing with the light of a thousand mirrors. The surface of the blade was brighter than it had ever been, and Karin could feel heat emanating from it. She could feel the power of the river flow through her body into the weapon.

With her redoubled power, Karin began to push back on the Espada's blade, until they stood, face to face again, looking each other in the eyes. Karin saw the image of the Espada's face flicker briefly, and the vague outlines of faces began to take form. The souls of men, women, children, looking at her, pleading silently.

Karin felt a surge of power pass through her body and into her zanpakuto. The energy traveled from her weapon into the Espada's. Although Karin had not consciously willed an attack, the Espada flew backwards, momentarily stunned.

"_What just happened?" _thought Karin, trying to locate the source of the incredible power she had felt. There was little time to think, however, because at that moment she heard Renji yell, "Hihiou Zabimaru!" Karin shunpoed out of the way just in time to see an enormous burst of dense reiatsu fly past her, directly at the Espada.

Still reeling from the shock of Karin's attack, the Espada was no match for the tremendous energy of Renji's bankai. She staggered and fell, panting, onto the ground. Karin ran over to the place where the Arrancar had fallen and pointed her zanpakuto at the woman's head.

"Don't move," Karin said, breathing heavily.

"You will not win, Kurosaki Karin," said the Espada as she looked into Karin's eyes.

Karin could see the faces of the souls again, clearer than before. She heard them call to her. Instinctively, she reached out to touch the face of the Espada with her free hand. It was as if an invisible force beckoned to her, drawing her towards the injured hollow.

"Karin, no!" shouted Renji, fearing for her safety.

Karin's hands met cold skin, and she felt the pain and horror of the souls trapped within the Arrancar as she had never experienced it before. She did not fight the feeling, even as it threatened to overwhelm her.

The Espada could not move, transfixed by Karin's touch, frozen. "There is no victory to be found in the pain of others," said Karin, still looking into the Espada's eyes. And, with her other hand, she turned Masumi's hilt and touched it to the Espada's head. Without a sound, the body of the Arrancar dissolved into thousands of tiny bits of reflected light, and Karin could see the faces of souls within, smiling and at peace. And then they were gone, leaving behind no trace of the Arrancar.

"Karin, you okay?" asked Renji, his voice full of wonder.

"I…I'm fine," she said, turning around to face him. She was smiling

************************************

"You have no idea how you did that?" said Renji for the tenth time since they had defeated the Espada. He and Karin were running back to the spot where Jiro and Kazu had been last seen fighting the Arrancar.

"No," replied Karin, patiently, "it was just…instinct, I guess."

"But you held her there with your bare hand," he marveled.

"Yes," replied Karin, patiently. Renji shook his head in disbelief.

"Hey, Renji," said Karin, after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for saving my skin back there," she said.

"My pleasure," he replied, smiling broadly.

"And thanks for helping me put things right with Toushirou." Renji blushed.

"This is the place," said Karin, saving Renji the discomfort of having to respond. "Past these trees."

Jiro and Kazu sat on the ground in the clearing. All around them were signs of battle. Three Arrancar lay, unmoving, dead or badly injured. Tree limbs and leaves littered the grass. Every few feet, there were small craters that pockmarked the ground.

"Karin!" yelled Jiro, standing up gingerly on what looked like a broken leg, "you're okay!" His face was covered in dirt and blood, but he did not appear to have any serious injuries. Kazu didn't look as good.

"Kazu," cried Karin, kneeling down next the other boy. He looked at her and smiled weakly. The front of his uniform was covered in blood. "You're hurt!"

"S'okay," said Kazu, his eyes slightly unfocused. "It's just my shoulder."

"He's lost a lot of blood. We need to get him to the Fourth," said Renji quietly to Karin. She nodded.

Jiro started to wobble slightly on his good leg, and Karin put her arm around him to support his weight. "We need to get you guys patched up," she said, doing her best to smile.

Renji gently scooped Kazu up. The boy looked small in his arms. Karin's heart hurt to see them both injured. _"This is my fault," she thought, guilt weighing heavily on her. _

The four of them started back towards the main campus. "You guys were awesome," said Karin as they walked.

"We beat them," said Jiro, wincing slightly as he put weight on his injured leg. "Kazu was incredible. The biggest one was about to hit me with his zanpakuto, and Kazu used Kido to distract him." Jiro glanced at Kazu, now unconscious, in Renji's arms.

"The Arrancar hit Kazu instead of me, though," he said, his eyes full of worry. "He's going to be okay, right?"

"He'll be fine," said Renji, looking at Karin with concern. "We just need to get him some help."

********************************

It was slow going, but they made it back to the main courtyard in about an hour. There were a half dozen teachers and students sitting on the benches near the entrance, some nursing minor cuts and scrapes. One of the teachers recognized Karin and ran over to them.

"We need to get these two to the Fourth as soon as possible," said Karin.

"The Arrancar have blocked the entrance to the Seireitei," said the teacher, looking at Kazu. "Word is that they've engaged a Division of shinigami outside the gates. No one can enter or leave. Rumor has it the Arrancar are looking for you."

A second teacher joined them as Renji gently laid Kazu down on an empty bench. "I have some experience treating injuries," said the teacher, bending down over Kazu.

"Please do what you can for him," said Karin. She helped Jiro sit down with his back propped up against the wall of the courtyard.

"You okay, Jiro?" Jiro nodded, his eyes on the place where Kazu lay. "We'll get Kazu some help, I promise." Karin turned to head out of the courtyard.

"Where do you think you're going?" demanded Renji.

"It's me they want, Renji."

"You can't just give yourself up to them," said Renji, astounded.

"I don't intend to give up," Karin said with determination, "but I need to end this, now." She started walking in the direction of the front gate.

"Stubborn like your brother," grumbled Renji under his breath as he followed behind her. She ignored him.

They reached the edge of the courtyard's outer wall and turned the corner onto the path to the front gate. A group of fifty Arrancar and Vasto Lordes stood in front of Renji and Karin. At the center of the group, stood Xiomara, her eyes cold, hard and fixed on Karin.

"Kurosaki Karin." The voice sent shivers down Karin's spine, but Karin showed no fear. "How convenient of you to come to us."


	26. Sacrifice

Chapter Twenty-Six: Sacrifice

The sun was beginning to set as Hitsugaya reached the edge of the Academy grounds. Slipping through the nearest gate to the Seireitei had been easier than he had expected, and that worried him. There had been only a few low-level recruits guarding the gate, a sign that the more experienced shinigami left guarding the Seireitei had their hands full elsewhere.

"_Where is it?" _he thought, as he walked along the high stone wall. He stopped, and ran his hands over the surface of the cut rock, trying to locate the place he remembered from his time at the Academy. He felt the rough surface of the stone under his hands, and the softness of the moss which grew between the rocks. He slid his fingernail under a particularly well-worn rock and felt it. The place he had been looking for. The hidden entrance.

Hitsugaya remembered, with a smile, how he had found this place after following an upperclassman through the woods on a dare. The older boy led his girlfriend through the Academy grounds, totally unaware that a small silver-haired elf followed behind, hiding his reiatsu. Instead of finding the two cadets locked in a kiss, Hitsugaya had seen something far more intriguing. The boy had ducked behind a bench and, leaning against the outer wall of the Academy grounds, had pushed a large portion of the wall like a door to reveal the Seireitei streets beyond.

It had been a revelation to Hitsugaya, this passage out of the Academy, and he had used it without telling anyone else, for the duration of his time there. How ironic that now, all these years later, he would use the same entrance in pursuit of something more than just escaping to the Rukongai to get away from the pressure of the rigid Academy world.

His fingers found the small indentation in the space between the rocks and he pulled, hard. The stones swung slowly outwards. Taking a last look around to be sure he had not been followed, Hitsugaya slipped through the door into the Academy grounds, pushing it closed behind him.

The first thing he felt, as he emerged from stone wall, were the large number of reiatsus. Arrancar. Perhaps a hundred of them, scattered around the grounds of the Academy. He closed his eyes, concentrating hard.

"_Karin," _he thought, with relief, as he felt her reiatsu, strong and steady. She was nearby. He could also feel Renji, next to her, but that was not all. _"They're in trouble," _he thought, sensing the many Arrancar reiatsus that surrounded Karin and Renji. Redoubling his efforts to hide his reiatsu, he sped through the grounds.

*********************************

Karin realized her heart was pounding._ "How much more powerful than the others is she?" _Karin wondered as she looked at Xiomara_._ Renji now stood directly next to Karin, hand resting on his zanpakuto.

Xiomara smiled. It was a cold, empty smile. "Kurosaki Karin," said Xiomara, sighing, "this would have been far simpler had you cooperated."

Karin said nothing, but looked around to assess the situation. She could hear the sounds of a heated battle coming from the direction of the front gate. Behind her, she knew, Kazu was seriously wounded.

Then, just when she began to lose hope that they would make it out of this alive, she felt it. A brief glimmer of something familiar. A presence. _"Toushirou is here," _she thought, with a mixture of relief and fear_. _She glanced at Renji. She could see the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. _"He felt it, too," _she thought. There was no reaction from the Arrancar.

"Enough of this polite chatter," said Xiomara, turning to the Vasto Lordes and pointing to Renji, "kill him. The girl is mine." Xiomara began to walk towards Karin and, as she did so, Karin saw the face of one of the Arrancar who stood behind the Sovereign. Amancio. His eyes met hers very briefly, and then he quickly looked away.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Renji release his shikai and head for a group of advancing Arrancar. There was no time for Karin to think about what she had seen in Amancio's eyes.

"Soar, Masumi!" yelled Karin, pointing her blade at Xiomara, anticipating her attack. Karin felt a rush of power flow through her arms and into her zanpakuto. This time, the energy flowed out of the tip of her weapon in a concentrated burst of power. The attack glowed orange and red, a beam of light which grew narrower as it raced towards Xiomara.

Xiomara raised her hand to meet the attack. The energy from the beam gathered in her palm and coalesced into a dense ball. With a look of pure enjoyment, Xiomara sent the ball of energy flying back at Karin so fast, that Karin knew she could not dodge it. Karin braced herself for the impact, lifting Masumi to shield herself.

The impact did not come. Instead, Karin saw a brief flash of white which sparkled in the sunlight, and then felt cool air rush about her face. An icy wing.

"Toushirou," said Karin, looking to her left to see him standing there. He smiled, but behind the smile, Karin could see deep concern. "I'm not leaving. It's me she wants."

"I know," he said, as he turned and stabbed three smaller Arrancar in quick succession, encasing each in ice. He did not try to dissuade her from fighting, but said instead, "I am here to fight alongside you, Karin."

Buoyed by Hitsugaya's words, Karin closed her eyes and focused her weapon on Xiomara. As she concentrated on the river of souls, drawing her strength from them, reddish wind blew around her feet and rose to cover her body. At the same time, circles of orange grew in a spiral around Masumi's blade. Karin opened her eyes, and with every ounce of strength she had, she directed the combined energy at Xiomara. An enormous white light, tinged with red and orange flame burst from the end of Masumi directly at Xiomara.

Xiomara deflected the attack again, this time with the blade of her zanpakuto. The deflected attack, however, did not rebound in Karin's direction. Instead, it hit several Arrancar standing near Xiomara. They glowed bright white, dissolved into thousands of tiny particles and then vanished.

As the Arrancar vanished, Hitsugaya sent a large stream of ice speeding towards Xiomara. Xiomara again raised her zanpakuto, and black fire erupted from the end, melting the ice on contact. Hitsugaya flew over Karin's head and repeated the attack, this time at closer range. The result was the same.

"Your attacks cannot touch me, shinigami captain," said Xiomara, completely unfazed. She motioned to the Espada surrounding her and said, "Take care of him." The Espada released their Resurreccion forms. A cloud of dirt and ice grew around the place where they met Hitsugaya, and Karin backed away slightly to avoid the debris.

"No more interruptions, shinigami girl, it is time you understood the limits of your abilities." Xiomara now stood less than ten feet from Karin.

Karin raised her blade in time to counter Xiomara's swing. The sound of metal hitting metal reverberated in Karin's ears, and blue sparks flew at the point of contact between the two weapons. For a moment, the two women stood still, the pressure of the two weapons holding each immobilized.

On her right, Karin heard the screams of several Arrancar and saw Zabimaru fly through the air, hitting several more hollows as it returned to the place where Renji stood. The knowledge that Renji was still alive and successfully holding back the Arrancar gave Karin added determination. Focusing again on the river of souls, Karin fought back against the weight of Xiomara's weapon, and Xiomara backed away slightly as a result.

Xiomara smiled, clearly still enjoying herself. "You are strong, Kurosaki Karin, but, as much as I am enjoying our little fight, it is time to end this."

"_Move, Karin!"_ Masumi called in Karin's mind. Karin backed away from Xiomara, and not a moment too soon. Fire, deep black with silver and red sparks, rose up from the ground on which Xiomara stood, and Karin could feel the heat on her face from several yards away. The flames grew in intensity, and Karin moved further back from the Espada to avoid being burned.

"Karin!" yelled Hitsugaya, from high above. He flew down and grabbed her, dropping her gently on her feet out of the range of Xiomara's fiery transformation. The air was dense with reiatsu, dark and heavy. It nearly took Karin's breath away, even at this distance.

Xiomara stood at least ten feet tall, her body strong, muscular, with two sets of black wings jutting out from her back, each one covered in what looked like scales. Her eyes glowed red, and fire issued from her fingers when she moved her hands. Her zanpakuto was unrecognizable. Where there had once been a sword, she held a writhing black creature, a snake with seven heads.

Hitsugaya, having reassured himself that Karin was, at least for the moment, out of harm's way, flew at the place where Xiomara now stood, fully transformed. "Toushirou, no!" yelled Karin, as she realized what he intended to do.

Karin watched, horrified, as Hitsugaya raised Hyorinmaru, only to be thrown back hundreds of feet by the snakelike creature in Xiomara's hand. There was a terrible crashing sound like shattering glass, as Hitsugaya hit the courtyard wall. Smoke and ice flew in all directions, making it impossible for Karin to see what had happened. When the air cleared, part of the wall was missing, and Karin could see the frightened faces of students and teachers in the courtyard beyond.

Xiomara laughed, and threw the writhing black zanpakuto towards the opening in the wall. Karin, using shunpo, moved as quickly as she could to shield those inside the courtyard. She raised her zanpakuto as she moved, aiming for one of the snake heads. She felt Masumi's blade make contact with the creature, and felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. The next thing Karin knew, she was flying through the air. She landed hard on the ground inside the courtyard, rolling several feet before hitting a large stone which had once been part of the courtyard wall.

"Damn," she said under her breath. She looked down at her shoulder. Part of her uniform was ripped away, and she could see two large puncture marks where the snake's teeth had bitten her. Thanks to Masumi, the pain had subsided, but when Karin tried to stand up, she found her legs would not move. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" asked Hitsugaya. She looked up and nodded, relieved to see him alive. His face was scratched and bleeding in several places, his haori torn, but otherwise, he seemed not to have been seriously hurt. He put his arm around her and she managed to get back onto her feet. Her entire body felt stiff, heavy.

"Is everyone okay?" she asked, looking around.

"They seem to be," he said. "Fortunately, they had all moved away from the wall because of the fighting."

"Renji?"

Toushirou looked in the direction of Xiomara. Karin could see Zabimaru, in the distance, arcing around the place where Xiomara stood. As they stood watching, the other Arrancar and Vasto Lordes began to approach the opening to the courtyard. Several of the teachers walked over to the opening, drawing their weapons.

There was a loud explosion, and another section of the courtyard wall crumbled, this time near the entrance to the courtyard. As the dust cleared, Karin could see Xiomara, standing at the entrance. Renji lay on the ground, unmoving. Hitsugaya moved quickly over to Renji. Xiomara raised her weapon and aimed it at the two men.

"No!" yelled Karin, and, with all of the strength left in her, ran in between Xiomara and the two men. "You won't hurt them again!"

Xiomara laughed again. "Foolish little girl," she said, "will you die with them?" Karin ignored her. Instead, she held Masumi out in front of her and, with every ounce of reiatsu she could muster, created a shield to protect them from the weapon. It would have to work. She was out of ideas.

Karin could see Xiomara release her zanpakuto, launching it towards the place where she now stood. _"Please let it be enough!"_ she thought, as she braced herself for the impact. It did not come. Instead, Karin saw one of the Vasto Lordes move in between her and Xiomara.

"Amancio!" yelled Karin, as she realized what was happening. "No!"

The snake zanpakuto hit Amancio hard in the chest. The largest of the snake heads buried its teeth deep into Amancio's neck. Xiomara screamed in anger, as Hitsugaya flew upwards and neatly sliced off two of the snake heads. Xiomara's zanpakuto flew back into the air, and she caught it in her hand.

"Amancio!" Karin was screaming now, running to the place where the Vasto Lorde stood, swaying slightly. Karin watched as Amancio fell to the ground.

**Author's Note: Stay tuned for the final installment of Empathy - Chapter 27 and Epilogue. Many thanks to the Old Narcissistic Hags, for all their support, with special thanks to J'aime Manga, Brego Whitecloud, Saigo no Haijime and MatsuMama for their wonderful ideas - you ladies rock! Most of all, thanks to my wonderful Beta dude extraordinaire Bob, for all his hard work - this zanpakuto's for you! -Lex**


	27. The Other Side of the River

Chapter 27: The Other Side of the River

Ignoring Xiomara, Karin ran over to Amancio. Time seemed temporarily suspended as she gathered him into her arms.

"Amancio, why?" asked Karin, fighting back tears.

He struggled to keep his eyes focused on her. "You are the answer, Karin. You hold the power to save us. You alone understand that we are not so different from you."

"The power to save you? By giving Konso?" asked Karin, confused.

"Your gifts are far greater than that, Karin," replied Amancio, his voice soft now. "You hold both the power to destroy and the power to heal. You must choose your path."

Karin felt his reiatsu begin to fade. As she looked into his eyes, Karin saw the many souls within and heard them call out to her. She put her hand on the hilt of her zanpakuto and turned the hilt towards the dying Arrancar. She touched Masumi's hilt to his forehead. As she did so, one particular form took shape. The uniform was unmistakable.

"Thank you, Karin," said the spirit of the United States Air Force pilot. The spirit put his hand on Karin's shoulder and, for just a split second, she could feel the weight of it there, as if it were as solid as she. "Because of you, my soul is finally at peace. I can finally go home." He smiled and then vanished.

Karin blinked away tears. There would be time for more, later. Karin looked back at what was once the courtyard of the Academy, now a battlefield full of shinigami and Arrancar. In the distance, she saw more shinigami coming from the gate -the shinigami originally sent to the hills outside the Rukongai, now returning to defend the Seireitei.

In her mind's eye, Karin could also see Xiomara approach her. She could feel the Arrancar's rage at Amancio's betrayal, at the loss of so many hollows at the hands of the shinigami. Xiomara wanted her dead, Karin could feel it in her soul. The hate emanating from her was palpable. Nothing else would suffice than to see Karin suffer and die before her eyes.

"_I am not afraid anymore," thought Karin._

The Soul Society vanished. All around her were stars, shimmering in the night sky. She looked down and saw that she was standing on what looked like water, but it was solid as stone beneath her feet. Karin knew immediately where she was: the mythical place Ichigo had once told her about. Her own inner world. Masumi's home.

_Masumi smiled at her. He was exactly how she imagined he would be. Beautiful, strong, with eyes that were lit with passion and strength. He wore a simple kimono which shone with the reddish-orange light of a sunset. His long hair fell around his face and in a long braid down his back, shimmering like a thousand tiny mirrors. Not corporal, but a being of light. Karin spoke to Masumi in a voice that was commanding; no longer as a student to her sensei. _

"_This place," said Karin, "this is me?"_

"_Yes, Karin," said Masumi. _

"_It's peaceful, quiet." She was surprised._

"_It has not always been this way," said Masumi._

"_Masumi," she said after a moment, "I do not wish to die, but I do not fear my death." He smiled broadly and nodded, but said nothing._

"_The power you spoke of, my strength, is here." It was not a question._

"_Yes. The river's edge is here, inside of you," answered Masumi._

_Karin looked into his eyes and, through them, she could see the river of souls, feel the current. She felt its power and its strength course through her being. The river was hers to control._

"_Will you follow me?" asked Karin, looking into his eyes._

"_Yes," he replied, simply. "Your fear of death was the last thing keeping you from harnessing the full power of the river. You have earned the power, Karin." _

_She smiled at him and the scene faded. _Karin opened her eyes.

"Bankai," she said, as the light of a thousand suns grew from Masumi's blade. Orange and red light surrounded her and joined with the light from her blade. Karin's zanpakuto was transformed. The hilt was the color of the sunset, a simple gold chain hanging from the end. The blade shimmered like light hitting water, no longer solid, but pure energy, which swirled around a core of light.

Shinigami and Arrancar began to flood into the courtyard. One fighter in particular caught her eye – bright orange hair, tall, muscular - Ichigo, battling an Espada. Not far from him, Karin could see the Captain-Commander. He was not fighting, but appeared to be watching her, his face as impassive as ever. Karin turned and faced Xiomara.

The Arrancar Sovereign aimed a Cero Oscuro at Karin. Karin pointed Masumi at Xiomara and moved to meet the attack. The Cero's darkness blocked the sunlight as it flew towards Karin. Karin swung her zanpakuto, hitting the Cero as it flew. The Cero stopped moving, then grew lighter and lighter, glowing white until, at last, all of the darkness was gone. Then, it vanished without a trace.

"Nice trick, Kurosaki Karin," said Xiomara. Her eyes glowed redder as she pointed her zanpakuto at Karin and flew towards her so fast, her body appeared to vanish and reappear. Karin was ready, blocking Xiomara's attack with Masumi's shimmering blade. One of the snake heads flew off the writhing zanpakuto and fell to the ground.

The sound that came from Xiomara's throat was something between a scream and a growl, inhuman. She sent several streams of red and black flame from her fingertips towards the place where Karin stood. Karin raised Masumi straight up into the air and closed her eyes. In an instant, ribbons of white and gold light grew up from the ground around Karin, growing denser as they climbed up Karin's body. The flame met the ribbons of light and vanished, leaving Karin untouched. Light shone from her hair and her skin, not merely a reflection of Masumi, but emanating from Karin herself.

"It's over, Xiomara," said Karin calmly, as she pointed Masumi at the Espada. "You cannot win."

Xiomara laughed and waved her zanpakuto. New serpent heads grew from the black stem, larger than those that were lost. Xiomara began to move towards Karin, zanpakuto pointed directly in front of her. Karin, too, ran towards Xiomara, as Masumi glowed brighter. The two weapons collided mid way between where Karin and Xiomara had once stood.

There was a deafening roar as the two weapons met. Around the two women, there was an unearthly light which glowed red, orange and gold. It was so bright that shinigami and Arrancar alike stopped fighting to see the source of the light. Those closest to the point of collision shielded their eyes. Bits of rock, dirt and grass were blown into the air, some as far as one-hundred yards away.

"Karin!" yelled Hitsugaya from the corner of the courtyard where he moved Renji. He ran towards the point of impact, terrified of what he might see. But, as the air cleared, what he saw amazed him. Xiomara stood, weaponless and wounded. Karin stood about ten feet away, a stream of light extending from her zanpakuto which bathed the Espada from head to foot in a golden glow. Karin's free hand was extended, reaching for Xiomara's face. The Espada was frozen where she stood, immobilized.

"You are nothing without your humanity, Xiomara," said Karin, as she closed her eyes."You are weak without the souls you keep captive." She could feel them, Xiomara's many souls, struggling to escape, looking for a way home.

_She was transported to a place that was neither real nor dream. The place inside Xiomara where her many souls lived, prisoners of the dominant soul. Xiomara's prisoners. _

_In this place of light without substance, Karin saw faces: a man, elderly and frail; a young child, wide-eyed, fearful; a teenage boy, defiant, unafraid. "Come with me," said Karin, extending her hand._

"_Where are you taking us?" asked a middle-aged woman, her eyes hopeful._

"_Home," replied Karin, smiling._

"_What about her?" asked a young woman, pointing to the place where Xiomara stood, unmoving. "She won't let us leave."_

"_She cannot hold you here anymore," Karin answered. "You are free to stay here or leave with me. It is your choice."_

_And, one by one, the souls took Karin's outstretched hand and walked out into the sunlight._

"_Xiomara," said Karin, after all the souls had left. "You, too, can choose to leave this place with me willingly."_

"_Never!" Xiomara said, turning her back on Karin. Karin sighed. She had expected nothing different._

From where he stood, watching, Hitsugaya saw hundreds of spirits manifest themselves in the light of Karin's zanpakuto, as though they were being drawn out of Xiomara. As the spirits emerged into the light, they rose up into the air, floating freely above the place where Karin stood. The manifested spirits shimmered briefly in the sunlight and then, with a noise that sounded like hundreds of sighs, dissolved into tiny bits of light and vanished, as they did with Konso.

"You are nothing without them, Xiomara," said Karin. Still immobilized, fear grew in Xiomara's eyes. Karin turned her zanpakuto around and touched the hilt to Xiomara's forehead. Xiomara dissolved into tiny particles which floated up into the air and vanished.

All around her, Karin could hear the sounds of battle. The Espada and many of the Arrancars, realizing that their leader had been destroyed, fled using Garganta. The remaining shinigami who had been at the front, now swarmed onto the grounds.

The battle was won.

************************************

Karin sat on top of the wall surrounding the Academy, looking out over the Seireitei. The sun was beginning to set and the tops of the buildings were tinged with orange and red. Karin drew her knees up to her chest and placed her hand on her zanpakuto, which lay next to her, returned to its original form.

"_Thank you," _she thought,_ "for guiding me."_

Karin closed her eyes, feeling the setting sun on her face. She breathed deeply, happy to be alive.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Ichi-nii," she said, smiling and looking up at her brother.

"You were impressive back there, little sis," said Ichigo, grinning widely.

"Thanks," Karin said.

They sat there in silence for several minutes. Finally, Ichigo spoke. "You know," he said, "I never really had a chance to tell you before."

"Tell me what?" asked Karin.

"About how I used to see spirits when I was a kid," replied Ichigo.

Karin was silent.

"I didn't just see them, Karin," said Ichigo. "I felt them. Their pain, their fear." Karin turned to look at him, slightly surprised.

"Mom did, too," said Karin.

"I know." He put his arm around her, and said, "She'd be proud of you, Karin."

They sat there in silence, watching the sun dip below the horizon. After a while, Ichigo stood up. "You coming?" he asked.

"Not yet," she answered. "I'll catch up with you later." He smiled at her and, in a flash, was gone.

Karin stood up, replacing her zanpakuto, and turned to look out over the Academy. She could see the courtyard, now empty, in the distance. Closer, she could see the tops of the trees, their leaves blowing slightly in the evening breeze.

"Karin." She had felt his presence before he had spoken. She jumped down from the wall and landed directly in front of him.

"Toushirou." She ran to him and held him close. They stood there, just holding each other, for a long time. Neither cared to speak. Words were unnecessary.

Finally, Hitsugaya said, "You were amazing, Karin. I had no idea."

"You were right, Toushirou," she said, looking into his eyes, "I was afraid." He smiled at her. "I'm not afraid anymore."

He pulled her to him and kissed her. "I love you, Karin," he said, as he finally pulled away.

"I love you, too," she said, kissing him deeply. She could feel the warmth in his soul, even as his reiatsu felt cool, icy.

"_In this place, and with this man,"_ she thought, as she lost herself in his soul,_ "I am truly home."_

**Next Chapter: Epilogue**


	28. Epilogue

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Epilogue

"Kazu," cried Karin, as she walked into the small hospital room in the Fourth Division, "you look great!"

Kazu was sitting up in bed. He smiled broadly to see Karin.

"He must be feeling better," said Jiro, who was sitting on a chair next to Kazu's bed, "he's been complaining about the food."

"How about you, Karin?" asked Kazu. "I heard the Captain-Commander asked to see you." Karin nodded solemnly.

"So," chimed in Jiro, "you're going to tell us, right? Come on! What did he say?"

"Nothing," she replied, with a hint of a grin. The boys stared, open-mouthed, in shock. She laughed. "Nothing, except that I'm now officially Fourth Seat of the Tenth Division."

"I'd have given you your own division," said Kazu, in all seriousness. "I mean, your bankai was incredible!"

"Thanks, Kazu, that's sweet. I'll be sure to tell that to the Captain-Commander!" Jiro and Kazu laughed.

Karin looked around the room, taking in the piles of flowers and gifts that covered every available surface. "Who sent all these?" she asked.

"Kazu has a few female admirers," said Jiro. "Word's gotten out that he killed a few Arrancar and was wounded in combat. Now all the girls at the Academy think he's cool." Kazu smiled broadly.

"What about you, Jiro?" asked Karin. "Don't they think you're cool, too?"

"He's taken," said Kazu, grinning.

"Really, Jiro," said Karin, "who is it?" Jiro didn't have a chance to answer. At that moment, Hina came running into the room, threw her arms around Jiro and kissed him. Realizing that Kazu was awake and that Karin was standing there, Hina quickly released Jiro and turned red.

"Karin," said Hina, "I didn't realize you were…"

"I'm glad to see Jiro's finally getting the attention he deserves," laughed Karin, turning to leave the room. "I'll be back tomorrow to see you, Kazu. In the meantime, Jiro, you make sure he listens to Unohana-taicho and eats his food, okay?" Jiro, slightly red-faced, nodded. Karin left the room, smiling broadly and headed down the hallway. She poked her head into another room, about six doors down from Kazu's.

"They're letting you leave already?" she asked, surprised.

"I've had enough of this place," said Renji, scowling and putting on his sandals. "The food is terrible."

Karin laughed. "I've heard that one before."

An attractive female shinigami walked into the room. "Abarai fukutaicho," she said, chastising Renji, "Unohana-taicho hasn't released you yet. Please get back into your bed."

"Okay," he said, his scowl now replaced by a grin. "But only if you tuck me in." The shinigami blushed slightly, but obliged.

"Looks like you're back to your normal self, Renji," said Karin. Then, turning to the Fourth Division squad member, she said, "If he gives you any more trouble, just let me know. I know how to make him cooperate." Karin smiled and touched the hilt of her zanpakuto.

"Thank you," said the surprised shinigami, unsure if Karin was serious or not. Karin laughed as she walked out the door, waving to Renji.

**************************

Karin arrived at the Tenth Division about ten minutes later. She walked into her office and picked up a pile of papers, doing her best to stack them neatly. It wasn't an easy task. Matsumoto had sat on them earlier in the day, as she had perched atop Karin's desk to tell her about what her new duties would be as Fourth Seat. The result had been a pile of crumpled papers. Karin headed down the hallway to Hitsugaya's office to deliver the stack of completed paperwork.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," she said, as she walked into his office.

"Kurosaki," he replied, looking up from his own stack of papers with a twinkle in his turquoise eyes. He stood up and walked over to the door, closing it behind him. "We need to talk about your role here at the Tenth Division."

"Really?" she asked, as he headed back over to his desk. She stepped in between him and the desk. "And which role would that be?"

"Your role as Fourth Seat, of course," he said. She moved closer to him.

"And other than what Rangiku has already told me, what do I need to know?" she asked, now inches from his face.

"No special treatment, of course," he said.

"I wouldn't let you," she said, simply.

"No hiding our relationship, either," he said.

"Why should we? Everyone knows, anyhow," she laughed.

"Then there's just one thing," he said, the edges of his mouth turning up as he spoke.

"What is that?"

"This," he said, taking her in his arms and kissing her.

"I think I'm going to like this new job," said Karin, smiling broadly.

***********************************

Later, Karin lay on one of the benches in the garden outside Hitsugaya's quarters, her head in his lap. The stars were out in number, and Karin stared up at the sky. She felt at peace, happy.

"Karin," said Hitsugaya, stroking her hair, "what you did to release Xiomara's souls…it seemed so peaceful."

"Every soul deserves a peaceful release," said Karin, "even those trapped inside hollows."

"I understand that now," he said, looking down at her. "But even if all shinigamis had your ability, Karin, I'm not sure they would use it as you have."

"I know," she said, with a small sigh. He bent down and kissed her briefly.

"Teach me," said Hitsugaya. She sat up and looked at him, surprised at his request. "Please, Karin."

And in his eyes, for just a split second, Karin thought she saw the little silver-haired child, eyes wide with wonder, smiling as he reached out to take her hand.

**Fin.**

**Author's Note: A number of folks have asked me about a sequel, which I definitely am considering! If you have any brilliant ideas for what you'd like to see as a plot line, please email or PM me! Also, I'm always open to story ideas in general - please feel free to contact me and make suggestions. Thanks! -Lex**


	29. Sequel Preview

Author's Note/Update: A number of readers requested that I update "Empathy" and "In the House of Tomorrow," to let folks know that I've published the sequel to those stories. I've included the Prologue from my new story, "Chasing Dragons," below, to give you all a taste of the new story. The first chapter is up, as well. Thanks, as always, for your encouragement and support! I hope you enjoy the new adventure. -Lex

To read the entire story as it unfolds, please click on my Profile and click on the story link at the bottom of the page. Thanks!

**To Chasing Dragons**

**Spoilers:**** Set approximately 14 years after the Winter War with Hueco Mundo and Aizen. Assumes knowledge of current manga plot line, mild spoilers.**

**Author's Note****: This story is a sequel to both "Empathy" and "In the House of Tomorrow." Although I'd love you to read those prior stories, you don't need to have read either to understand this one. All the necessary background will be recapped in this story as it unfolds. The plot follows the general history/character development in my three previous stories, including, "King's Key: The Four Prongs." **

**Pairings:**** This is first and foremost a HitsuXKarin love story, but it does also have some IchiXRuki adventure/romance, as well.**

**Disclaimers:**** The story is mine, but the characters belong to and are from the incredible imagination of the manga god Kubo Tite. I am in awe, Sensei.**

________________________________________________________________

**Chapter One - Prologue**

Two Weeks After the Battle at Karakura:

"_I found you once," said the dragon. "You were small, insignificant, barely worthy." He flicked his tail and the ground shook in response._

"_Who are you?" Hitsugaya asked. _

_The dragon exhaled and ice crystals formed in the air. "If you must ask," the ice dragon replied, "then you are undeserving of the answer. You must learn my name for yourself." He was a proud creature and slightly vain, but he could wait for the Guardian. He had waited before._

"_What are you?" asked the silver-haired man._

"_I am your strength," answered Hyorinmaru, opening his wings to their fullest, his head held high. "I am your past and your future."_

_**************************_

He awoke to the sound of rain pounding on the metal roof. It leaked down in spots, creating small rivers around the place where he had slept. The first light of morning had begun to turn the sky gray. It was cold, but he did not mind. The cold was comforting, familiar. A friend.

"_They're coming," _he thought, gathering his few belongings in a small drawstring bag. _"Time to move."_ He crept out the back of the building, looking around to see if he was being followed. They were still out there, watching him from a distance. He could hear them, almost sense their presence. _"If they'd wanted to kill me, I'd be dead already," _he thought. He headed back onto the road, where he felt more at ease.

He walked several miles before stopping by a stream. He washed his face in the icy water, melted snow from the mountains that towered above. He drank deeply, relishing the feel of the cold against his parched throat. It was then that he sensed it: something was different today. Someone else was following him. A woman, by the sound of her footsteps. Nearby.

"I know you're there," he said, turning around and looking towards a stand of pine trees, dripping with melted ice.

She stepped out from the trees and smiled at him. A tall woman with long, dark hair. Athletic and quite beautiful, wearing a pair of tattered jeans and a heavy sweater.

"Who are you?" he asked. "Why are you following me?"

"I'm Kurosaki Karin," she said. "I've been looking for you, Toushirou."


End file.
